Separate Lives
by LanieSullivan
Summary: The secret marriage begins to take it's toll. How much longer can husband and wife live apart before it tears them apart?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. We retain rights to the plot, but not the characters. this story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Author's Note: There have been many stories written about how Lee and Amanda's secret marriage might have been revealed, some that I've written myself. This is another take that has been rattling around in my brain for a while, but I had yet to put to words. Takes place in late June 1987 about 4 months after the secret wedding.

On a Sunday evening, June 21st, Lee Stetson was in his apartment on the phone with his wife listening to her explain for the umpteenth time in recent weeks why she had to cancel the plans they had made. He'd been so excited because for the first time in their marriage they were going to get to spend a whole week together at once. The kids were supposed to be spending the first week of their summer vacation with their father, but Joe had unceremoniously dropped them off at the house after only a day with them. He and Amanda had been there together kissing feverishly since the moment she'd walked in the door and had started working their way toward the bedroom when she got a call from her mother that she was needed at home. They hadn't even had ten minutes together before he'd been once again left alone with just his memories of her. That was an hour ago and now he was getting more irritated by the minute that they were having yet another conversation about why they couldn't have some alone husband and wife time.

"I just can't leave Jamie with the stomach flu," Amanda said apologetically. "He needs someone to take care of him."

"Is that why Joe just dumped the kids back on you?"Lee said in aggravation at Joe King's lack of parental responsibility. "Why couldn't Joe take care of him?"

"Lee, I'm his mother-"she began but Lee's voice stopped her.

"And he's his father. Would it kill him to do his fatherly duty once in awhile? He could take care of him just as easily as you can if he'd just make the effort. And while you're taking care of Jamie, who's going to take care of me?" He ran his hands through his hair the way he often did when he was frustrated.

"You're a grown-up, Lee. You don't need as much care as a sick eleven-year-old."

"Who says I don't? Damn it, Amanda, I miss my wife."

"I know," she said sadly. "I miss you too. I'm really sorry, Sweetheart."

'Not as sorry as I am," he said as he slammed the phone down and walked toward his bathroom to take yet another cold shower. He sighed as he stripped out of his clothes down to just his boxers. This wasn't how he had imagined getting undressed for the night. He had pictured Amanda being the one undressing him slowly, the way she liked to do, undoing each button on his shirt one at a time, pausing between them to plant soft kisses on each patch of skin she exposed. God, he missed that. He didn't think he would ever tire of the feel of her lips on his bare skin. Once she was done with the shirt, she'd move her hands to his belt. _Stop it!_ He admonished himself. Fantasizing about it only made matters worse when it couldn't be a reality.

He couldn't begrudge Amanda for taking care of her sick child. She was a responsible, caring mother, after all. However, he wanted to thrash Joe King within an inch of his life. He knew it had happened, but he still couldn't picture Amanda married to such a self-centered bastard. He'd never been there for his kids when they were growing up because he'd always been traveling. Lee had thought that would change now that he was stateside again and it had for a while, but ever since he had remarried a month or so ago, he'd started up his old habits of neglecting his responsibility to his children. Lee couldn't understand it either. They were great kids. He would consider himself damn lucky to have kids as amazing as them, especially with Amanda as their mother. He'd never thought of himself as the fatherly type, but since he'd married Amanda and had begun to spend more time with Phillip and Jamie, he'd been thinking more and more about it. He'd come to the realization that he would love to have a child of his own someday, but who was he kidding? He and Amanda didn't even have a normal marriage. How could they ever have a child together? Besides, you had to make love to make a baby and they hadn't done so in a month, not since they'd made up after their fight about each other's quirks when he'd made that stupid list. He didn't know how much longer he could last being married, but living apart. He couldn't stand this secret life, lying to their friends and family, sneaking around and feeling guilty just for wanting to spend a few quiet moments alone with his wife when a man shouldn't have to feel guilty about loving his wife.. Something had to be done about it.

He walked to the closet to hand up the shirt and pants he'd just removed and felt a stab of pain seeing the clothes that Amanda kept at his hanging next to his. She didn't have much there, a couple of blouses and skirts hanging in the closet. The streak white suit she'd worn on their wedding day that had never hung in her own closet for fear that her mother may asked too many questions as she was prone to do. He recalled perfectly how he'd felt the first second he saw her in it, how beautiful she looked, how nervous he felt, but also excited because he knew that in just a few minutes, she was going to be his wife. He also recalled later that night, after the slow-as-molasses chambermaid had finally left their room, how he'd helped her out of it before they'd consummated their marriage.

That had been four months ago and yet he still didn't feel married, not really. He glanced down at the gold band on his left hand. He didn't get to wear it very often, but he'd put it on tonight knowing that Amanda was going to be there with him. He had wanted to wear it for her as a sign of his commitment to her, but everything went to hell again as usual; He tugged it off his finger, placed it back in its velvet-covered box replacing it in the lockbox that he kept all the evidence of their marriage except for Amanda's rings which she wore on a long chain around her neck. She'd told him once that she did that to keep them out of sight, but still keep them close to her heart. As he put the ring box away, his eyes fell on the photographs that had been taken on their wedding day. He looked longingly at the one on top that Mrs. Bowman had taken shortly after he'd kissed her for the first time as her husband. He took in all the details of it, they way that their hands were locked together. The glow in Amanda's eyes as she gazed at him, the smiles plastered on both of their faces. He felt the sharp sting of tears in his eyes as he stared at the photo and found he couldn't look at it anymore. It hurt too much. He slammed the lid of the box closed locking it quickly and shoving it under his bed, _their _bed, he mentally corrected himself.

"No, not this time," he said echoing words he'd said to her over a year ago when he'd locked the door to the office they shared and had kissed her, _really _kissed her for the first time with no distractions and no interruptions. They'd shared a few little peck here and there prior to that and there had been many near misses, but that day had been the turning point in their relationship where no words were needed to define what they felt for each other. They both just understood that they were on a different level with each other. It was funny that he had felt closer to her then than he did right now when they were husband and wife. _That's about to change. _He quickly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed his keys and headed for the door.

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Amanda fell into bed feeling defeated after round after round with Jamie in the bathroom, helping him slowly sip some Gatorade and chicken broth to keep him hydrated since he couldn't keep anything down. He was finally asleep, for a while anyway, with the stomach flu you just never knew when it would flare up again. She had decided to take advantage of the temporary respite to get a little rest herself. As soon as she got comfortable, she realized that her agitated mind wouldn't let her exhausted body rest. Her thoughts kept jumping back to Lee and how angry he'd been on the phone. He had to understand that she was a mother first. He didn't seem to consider that she was just as disappointed as he was that they wouldn't be able to keep the plans they had made, but it's not like it had been the first time. If it wasn't something going on with the boys, it was something going on at work always ruining their plans. It was like fate was trying to test them to see just how much they could survive together before reaching their breaking point.

She recalled walking into his place and glancing at the lit candles, the roaming fire, the chilled champagne. Lee had gone all out to rekindle their romance. She'd thought that they'd take time to talk, cuddle a little on the couch, and sip a little champagne before going to bed. That all changed when he emerged from the bedroom wearing the blue oxford shirt that she loved to see him in. In that moment all she could think about was her fierce desire for him and had flown into his waiting arms pouring her whole heart into their fiery kisses, pressing herself as close to him as she could get. God, how she loved the way he kissed, they way he held her tightly when they kissed, the low, throaty moans that let her know that he enjoyed it too. Without ever letting go of her or breaking their kiss, he had started to back up toward the bedroom with her in his arms his hands tugging at the back of her shirt to explore the bare skin underneath. She remembered herself moaning into his mouth at how good it felt. They had almost made it to the bedroom when the damned phone had rung breaking the spell.

_Damn you, Joe!_ she thought violently. She wondered sometimes how she could ever have loved him enough to marry him. She'd thought at the time he'd be a good husband and father. After all, he'd worked diligently through law school to graduate with honors. She thought that was a good sign that he was ready to take on the responsibility of a family, but she was wrong and she'd wasted a decade of her life before she realized her mistake. The only good thing to come out of it was her children. She was sad for them though that their father put them last on his list. That was what made her all the more determined to put them first. They had to know that at least one parent would always be there for them. Her thoughts turned back to Lee and how easily he'd adapted to his new role as a stepfather to them. The kids may not know he was their stepfather, but they were at least getting the benefit of a dependable make role model. Every time that she saw him interacting with her sons, it made her long for the day that she could give him a child of his own. He'd be such an amazing father. _Who am I kidding,_ she thought. That would never happen. You couldn't raise a family together when you didn't even live together, aside from the fact that you had to be able at least spend a night together once in a while to conceive a child. NO, the two children she had would be it, not that she was ungrateful for them, but now that she was someone who she knew would be a dedicated family man and not fly off and leave her to raise the children by herself, she desperately wanted that. She sighed again and told herself to stop daydreaming. There would be no babies in her future. She knew that neither of them was ready to give up their careers with The Agency. There was still too much important work to be done. By the time it would safe enough to live openly together, it would be too late. Her child-bearing days would be over, because she was already thirty-seven. It was unfair that a man could have a child at any age, but a woman couldn't.

She would love more than anything to be openly married to Lee, to be able to come home to him every night. She was living three lives that didn't blend well, agent, mother and wife. She sometimes forgot which role she was playing at any given moment of the day, occasionally letting things slip about her job at home and having to cover her mistakes with her mother, once in awhile gazing a little too long at her husband in a morning briefing then having to force herself to look away. Francine had caught on to that a couple of times, but fortunately the lies that Francine believed about a non-existent break-up was enough to cover that particular faux pas. It just made Francine believe that she was pining for a man she couldn't have. She'd then insist that they have lunch together and Amanda would be forced to endure yet one of the other agent's tired tirades about Lee and his relationship habits, how he was commitment-phobic and would never settle down. That part she could handle okay because she knew it wasn't true, but when Francine would give her those looks of solemn pity, it took all the strength she had not to blurt out the truth then and there just to stop her dead in her tracks. She'd love to see the reaction on Francine's face if she ever found out that not only was Lee _not_ commitment-phobic, but that they'd been in an exclusive relationship for over a year and had been married for four months. Sadly, she' never get to see that. It was impossible As painful as it was, their marriage had to stay a secret. That was the decision they had made to protect the boys and that was the way it had to stay.

Her train of thought was derailed by the scraping sound of her bedroom window being raised. She glanced over to see her husband peeking in from his perch on the trellis. She quickly closed and locked her bedroom door then rushed to the window to help him through it. When he had safely landed on his feet, he reached for her and without saying a word, pulled her into a passionate embrace.


	2. Chapter 2

Lee and Amanda kissed and clung to each other for what seemed like an eternity before both needing oxygen. They broke their kiss both gasping for air but not relaxing their grip on one another. Lee looked deeply into his wife's eyes a brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. When she'd caught her breath, she whispered, "What are you doing here?"

"Do you really need to ask?" he said in a low husky voice his eyes burning with desire for her. He reached for her bottom pulling her roughly against him so she could feel the reaction her kisses has caused.

Amanda gasped as she felt his hardness pressed against her. She wanted him desperately too, but this wasn't the time or place, "Lee, as much as I'd love to, we can't. Not here. What if mother hears us? Her room is right next door."

"If she asks, just tell her it was the TV," He replied. "Or better yet, tell her the truth. You were spending a much needed night making love with your husband," he added as he lowered his lips to hers again.

Amanda got lost in the moment, reveling in the feel of his mouth on hers, returning his kisses fervently until she came to her senses. "No, Lee stop," she wriggled out of his grasp and turned away from him reaching for her robe. She wanted him too much and having him that close, feeling the evidence of his arousal was only making it worse. She knew she was only about three seconds from giving in and saying damn the consequences.

Lee knew it too. He knew that look in her eyes all too well and knew it would only take a little more coaxing to get his wife to give him what he knew they both needed. He'd seen the look of desire in her eyes that rivaled his own. "Don't, Amanda," he said as he spun her around to face him, pulling her against him once again and beginning a new assault on her mouth kissing her with wild abandon causing her to moan into his mouth. He knew form that reaction that he had her where he wanted her now. He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered huskily, "I need you tonight," and before she could pull away from him again he lowered his mouth to the tender spot on her neck that he knew always drove her crazy.

"Lee," she cried out unable to ignore what her body was crying out for. She wrapped her arms around his neck tilting her head back to give him better access and just gave in to the sensations he was creating pressing herself against his erection. Lee backed them both up toward the bed trying to toe his sneakers off at the same time stumbling in the proceeds propelling himself backward onto the mattress, Amanda landing on top of him. He finally kicked off his shoes just as Amanda moved herself slightly to straddle him while frantically tugging at the bottom of his tee.

Lee groaned at feel of his wife astride his erection, his jeans feeling way too tight. He lifted his arms up enough for Amanda to pull his shirt over his head then used his position to slide his hands under her cotton nightgown and caress her bare thighs underneath. He bunched up the bottom of her gown pulling it up so he could access her pert breasts. Amanda did the rest, yanking the offending gown off and tossing it aside as her husband sat up slightly to ravage one breast with his mouth then moved on to the other delighting in her moans of pleasure. He loved that he could make those sounds come from her. He then slid one hand inside her already damp panties to stroke the sensitive nub at her center causing her to call out his name again.

Amanda couldn't take it anymore and frantically worked to unfasten Lee's jeans. She had to stand for a moment to pull them down his legs, removing his boxers in the process, finally freeing his manhood. Lee sighed at the loss of her nearness but was delighted when she dropped her panties onto the floor and resumed her position. He reached his hand out to continue what he'd started, but she stopped him. "No, Lee, no more teasing," She said as she sank down onto him taking all of him inside her eliciting a groan from him. He rose again to meet her as she began to ride him slowly. He pulled her head toward him and kissed her fiercely his tongue tangling with hers. He grasped her hips to speed up her motion desperate to hear her reaching her peak. He broke their kiss and looked into her eyes as he slid his hand between them to stroke her. He was soon rewarded her crying out his name again, "Lee, you feel so good, oh, I love you."

"I love you, Mrs. Stetson" He said kissing her lightly before lowering his lips to her neck again, one hand still on her hip to guide her motion. She wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her bare breasts up against his chest planting heated kisses to the skin on his neck and shoulder as they rocked together. Lee groaned as he heard Amanda crying out her release and felt her digging her nails into him with the intensity of it. He continued to thrust up into her until his own climax hit him and he was lost in her, crying out her name and raining kisses on her face and neck as he felt wave after wave of pleasure overtake him. They stayed like that together for a few minutes and Lee felt Amanda shuddering in his arms. "Amanda," he said softly gently turning her head to look at him. He noticed her eyes glistening with tears. He started to move fearing he'd gone too far.

"No, don't," Amanda said stopping him from pulling away from her."It's been too long, Lee. I just need to be close to you little while longer. I love you so much," she said as she softly kissed him.

"Then what are the tears about?"

"Because I know this night has to end and I don't want it to," she said burying her face in his chest.

"It doesn't have to," Lee said wrapping his arms around her lightly stroking her back with one hand and tangling his other in her hair. "We could have every night like this if we just stopped hiding."

"We can't, Lee," she said raising her head to look at him. "You know we can't as much as I would love to publicly be your wife, things aren't any safer than they were four months ago. Our jobs are just as dangerous as they were then."

"To hell with the job then," Lee growled. "You're more important to me than any damn job."

"Lee, Sweetheart, as sweet as that thought is, we both know you don't really mean that. What are you gonna' do, quit a job you've had for fourteen years, then what? Six months or a year down the road, you end up resenting me for it. I won't let you do it. I won't let you give up a job you love for me."

"Amanda..."He began, but she silenced him with a finger on his lips.

"Please, don't. Can't we just enjoy our time together while we've got it?" she said as she kissed him again, this time with more passion needing him to know how much she needed him.

Lee resigned himself to the fact that they weren't going to get anything resolved tonight and kissed her back with all the love he had for her before rolling her over onto her back. This time their kisses were not so heated, but slow and languorous, exploratory kisses as if they were learning each other all over again. He kissed her face softly where he tears had been tasting the saltiness they'd left behind. He reached for her handed entwining his fingers with hers as he marveled at the feel of her beneath him. He paused in his exploration of her mouth for a moment just to look at her face. His gaze drifted downward until he saw the chain around her neck. He released one of her right hand and fingered the rings nestled against her bosom with his left and said, "These belong on your finger."

"So does yours," she said as she stroked his bare ring finger.

"Does that mean you're willing to talk about changing the status quo?" He asked hop swelling in his chest.

"No, Lee, we can talk about it later. Right now, I just want to be with you for as long as I can before mother or one of the boys gets up and I have to kick you out."

"You wouldn't have to kick me out if we could just tell the truth," he pointed out.

"I know, but we knew going into this that it would be hard. Missing each other doesn't change the way things are. We have to stay the way we are. It's not safe any other way."

"We could figure it out, Amanda. Aren't you the one who's always saying we work best together as a team? I don't see why we can't team up on this and come up with a better solution."

"We can, but another time," Amanda said pulling his head down to hers so she could kiss him again. "For now let's just enjoy tonight." They kissed for another few minutes and began to caress each other. "Make love to me, Lee."

Lee happily obliged only this time was not the frenzied session it had been before. This time it wasn't about the physical need that hadn't been satisfied in a month. It was about the emotional need they had to express their love for one another. They caressed, stroked, kissed and whispered words of love to each other, both savoring each touch, each kiss, each sigh until they were both spent and lying contentedly in each other's arms. Lee was lying on his back with Amanda's head on his chest. "Do you see how this could be very night?" He said lightly brushing her lips with his.

"I don't know about every night. You'd probably get tired of me after a while," she teased.

"Not in a million years," he said kissing her again. "God, I just can't get enough of kissing you."

"Well, better not stop then," she said scooting herself over to lie fully on his chest and kissing him tenderly.

Lee was pulling on the back of Amanda's neck to deepen the kiss when there was a knock on the door. "Shit, someone's up." Lee said.

"Shhh," Amanda said as she wriggled out of bed and motioned for Lee to do the same. She quickly reached for her discarded nightgown and frantically pulled it over her head and arms, picking up Lee's clothes and tossing them to him.

"Amanda?" Dotty's voice called from the other side of the door.

"Just a second, Mother," Amanda said, then whispered to Lee. "Hurry up and get dressed and get out the window."

"Amanda, there isn't time. She's gonna wonder what's taking so long."

"Then, into the bathroom, go! Quick!" she said giving him a slight push to get him moving.

"Amanda, what's going on in there?" Dotty called.

"Coming, Mother," she said. She waited until Lee was in the bathroom with the door closed before opening the bedroom door to her mother."

"I'm sorry to disturb your sleep, Darling," Dotty said as she stepped into the room. "I know you must be exhausted after working all day then coming home to nurse a sick child. I tried to leave you alone for as long as I could, but now that Jamie's up, I need some help."

"Is he ok?" she asked glancing toward the bathroom door nervously

"He's about the same, but that's not the problem. One sick child I can handle for a while, but now Phillip's got it too now." Dotty noticed her daughter's nervousness and surveyed the room spotting a pair of panties at the foot of the bed, taking notice of the open window and the closed bathroom door that Amanda kept sneaking a peek at.

"I'll be right there," she said trying to urge her mother out the door.

"Amanda, why is your bedroom window open?"

"Mother, you know I like the night breezes when I sleep. I always leave the window cracked."

"Cracked is one thing, Dear, but it's wide open. Why, anyone could just climb up that trellis and into your room and who knows what unspeakable things they might do to you,," Dotty said with knowing look.

"Well, you go on and tend to the boys and I'll close it and meet you there," Amanda said hustling her mother out of the room. "Lee" she whispered as loudly as she could without alerting her mother. When he poked his head out the bathroom door she said, "The coast is clear."

He emerged from the bathroom fully dressed and said icily, "We wouldn't have to worry about the coast being clear if we were living out in the open."

"Lee, please, not now. You've gotta' get out of here. Go! We'll talk about it tomorrow." She gave him a quick kiss and shoved him toward the window before heading down the hall to tend to her sick children.

"Damn it!" Lee swore. This had not gone the way he'd wanted it. He sighed in frustration as he did as his wife had asked and climbed down the trellis, broken-hearted that he had to go back and sleep in his empty bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: This chapter is a little longer than most because there was a lot that I wanted to get in it and couldn't find a good stopping point to split it into two separate chapters. On an additional note, for those of you not up on your 1980's history, the speech Billy references is a real speech made my President Ronald Reagan on June, 12, 1987 to Mikhail Gorbechev about tearing down the Berlin Wall and allowing more freedom to the citizens in the Eastern Bloc. The full transcript and audio of the speech can be found here if anyone is interested . . And on a final note, the song lyrics are from the song "Amanda" by Boston released as a single from their album _Third Stage _released in 1986. I thought it's use would be appropriate for this story.

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Shortly before noon, Amanda entered the kitchen dressed for work where her mother was just hanging up the phone. "Mother, can you look after the boys for me? I have to go into the office for a couple of hours. They're both asleep right now, so they should be ok for a little while. I think Jamie's is close to having run its course. He hasn't gotten sick in over two hours, but we still need to keep pushing the fluids to keep him hydrated. Phillip's still seems to be hanging on, so you may need to keep any eye on him."

"What do you think you're doing, Amanda?"Dotty demanded.

"I told you I have to go the office. I'd rather stay here until I know the boys are feeling better, but I have a staff meeting that I just can't miss."

"I'm not talking about your job, Missy. I'm talking about your life. What are you doing with your life?"Dotty asked crossing her arms waiting for an answer.

"I don't know what you mean, Mother," Amanda said evasively.

"Don't you?" When Amanda didn't answer, she plunged on. "Ok, I'll tell you what I mean. You and your love life."

"Not this again," Amanda said in irritation..

"Yes, this again. Amanda, what are you doing?"

"Mother, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ok, fine. You want to play this game again, that's just fine. Do you want to know who I just got off the phone with?"

"Who?"

"Edna Gilstrap. She called me very concerned because she swears she saw a man sneaking out your bedroom window and climbing down the trellis around two O'clock this morning."

"Mother, you know how Edna Gilstrap is. She's the neighborhood gossip and if she can't find something good to talk about, she makes it up."

"Really? I find it very interesting because that was right around the time I woke you up to help me with the kids, only I don't really believe that I woke you. I think you were in bed, just not sleeping and I don't believe you were alone."

"Mother, no," Amanda began but couldn't even finish the lie. It was getting way too complicated living multiple lives.

"No? So, you're telling me that if I'd opened the bathroom door that you kept staring so nervously at that I wouldn't have found Lee Stetson behind it putting his clothes back on?" Amanda simply hung her head. She knew from the moment she'd let Lee in that it was a mistake. "That's what I thought," Dotty said. "I'm not judging, Amanda and I wasn't surprised a bit when Edna called me with what she thought was a shocking bit of news about my daughter. I figured it out myself last night before I left your room between the open window, the way you kept trying to rush me out of the room, the way you kept staring at the bathroom door, and oh, yeah, your underwear on the floor. That was a big clue too. That's all aside from the fact that I know that you and Lee have been lovers for some time now."

"Mother," Amanda began but was silenced by the ferocious look on her mother's face.

"Don't, Amanda! Don't even attempt to lie to me anymore. I've had all I can take of them! You must think I'm pretty stupid not to have figured it out by now. This has been going on for awhile now, bits of Lee's clothing turning up in our laundry, all the "work" weekends that just happen to coincide with the weekends that the boys are with their father, the way you two look at each other every time he's here, that's the way that only two people who have been completely intimate with each other look."

"Mother, please," she said tears welling up in her eyes.

"Let me finish! I want you to know that it doesn't bother me that you're sleeping with Lee. The two of you obviously love each other very much. You're an adult and God knows you've earned the right to some happiness in your life, but you've also got to think of your future. This love affair has been going on for months and months and the two of you don't seem to be getting any closer to making a permanent commitment. I know that you're probably a little scared to take that next step after what Joe did to you, but how long can you be happy in this state of limbo with the man you love?"

"I'm not happy with it now, Mother," Amanda confessed, tears now flowing down her face.

"Then what's stopping you from doing something about it? What is this big secret that I don't know about that's keeping you from moving forward?"

"Mother, I can't. I'm sorry. I would love to tell you everything, but I..I just can't," She snatched her purse off the kitchen counter digging a tissue out of it and wiping her eyes. "Mother, I really have to go. Can you please watch the boys for me?"

"Of course, Darling, but we're not done talking about this." Amanda nodded and ran toward the front door.

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Lee had been fuming all day. Amana hadn't come to work yet and when he inquired, Francine has said that she had called and said that she'd only be able to come in for their daily briefing meeting scheduled at one, but then she'd have to leave because the kids were sick. He felt like a complete ass because he hadn't even thought last night to ask about Jamie, but at the same time, he thought Amanda was being a complete ass too by not even considering the option to talk about where there future was going and how to be a normal married couple. He was sure he must be wearing a hole in the floor of the office he shared with Amanda with all the pacing he'd been doing for the last hour while he stewed about their situation. He'd asked Mrs. Marston to call him the second Amanda walked in the door because he wanted a chance to talk to her in private before their meeting. He couldn't stop reflecting back on their conversation last night and how every time he'd broached the subject of coming clean about their marriage. What was so wrong with a man wanting to live openly with his wife and live together like a husband and wife should? He was jarred out of his thoughts by the phone ringing. "Stetson... She's here?" Thank you, Mrs. Marston." He said throwing the phone down, running out the door down the hall and taking the stairs two at a time to get to Amanda before she hit the elevator. "Amanda," He called causing her to turn as he descended the last step.

"Where's the fire?" She said as she stepped into the elevator.

"I need to talk to you."

"Let's talk in the elevator. We're going to be late for the meeting."

"Screw the meeting. I need to talk to you in private," he halted when he saw Mrs. Marston peering at him sideways form her perch. Reluctantly he got into the elevator. As he looked at her, he couldn't help but notice her puffy eyes, but he couldn't quite tell if it was from crying or lack of sleep from caring for sick kids all night.

"I'll be fine," She said. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Not here, please. Can't we go someplace private and talk?"

"Not right now, Lee. We have a briefing to attend, remember?"She said as she stepped out of the elevator toward the bullpen.

"This can't wait, Amanda," he said and caught up with her just as she was entering the bullpen.

""Whatever it is, Lee, it's going to have to wait until later," She said raising her voice as she turned to walk toward the conference room.. She'd already had a fight with her mother today. She didn't need one with him to.

"No, Amanda, not later, now!" he said as he grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him only not in the seductive way he'd done it last night. He was through putting off having this much needed conversation.

"Lee, this isn't the time or place, people are staring." It was true. The occupants of the bullpen had stopped their chatter and their attention was solely focused on the two of them.

"Let them stare! I don't care what any of them think, anyway. I'm tired, Amanda. I'm dam tired. I'm tired of hearing that we'll talk about it later, because that later never comes!" He knew he was getting everyone's attention but didn't give a crap. He only wanted Amanda's and to hell with what anyone else thought. "I'm tired of hearing it's not the right time or place because it never seems to be the right time or place. I'm tired of being alone, I'm tired of all the lying and sneaking around! God knows we do enough of that on the job. Mostly, I'm really _damn_ tired of trying to pretend that I'm not crazy in love with you!"

Billy barreled out of his office and shouted, "What the hell is going on out here?"

Francine leaned over and said softly. "Looks like Lee is trying to win Amanda back, from what I can tell. I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"Lee, stop it! You're making a scene!"Amanda exclaimed looking around the room.

"Don't look at them! Look at me!" He said reaching out and grabbing her shoulder to turn her focus back to him. "if you would have given me just ten damn minutes of your time in private, there wouldn't be a scene. I'm going absolutely crazy without you! Don't you get that?"

"Do you think it doesn't hurt me too?" she fired back at him. "Seeing you at the office every day and then going home alone?"

"But you don't go home alone. You have your kids and your mother to go home to. Do you know what I have to go home to? Nothing!" He shouted. "Nothing but an empty apartment where all I can see is memories of you, your clothes in my closet, your toiletries in my bathroom and then I go to sleep alone every night in a bed draped in sheets that still smell like you. Don't you understand that this is torture for me?"

"Don't you think I hate it too?"she said in a softer tone reaching up her hand to rest on his face.

"No, I don't," He said pulling back from her touch. "I want to believe that and I used to, but now I think you get some kind of thrill out of sneaking around! I saw the excitement in your eyes when we were making love last night with your mother in the next room and your kids down the hall. I think you get off on the danger of getting caught!"

Amanda gasped. "What?! I can't believe you would say something like that to me? Is that really what you think of me?"

"Hey, come on, you two, break it up," Billy said trying to intervene.

"Back off, Billy!"

"Whatever you may think, Lee, we made a decision and we have to stick to it!"

"Well, it was the wrong damn decision! In fact, I'm thinking now that this whole _damn_ thing was a big mistake right from the start!"

"OH? Is that what you think? Well, then it's a good thing I know from experience exactly how to rectify that kind of mistake," She said hotly as she yanked the chain with her rings from around her neck and shoved it into Lee's hand. She turned o her hell and stormed into the conference room.

"Amanda, wait," He attempted to follow her, but was stopped by Billy.

"Lee, stop it. Let her go, Man. Give her a chance to calm down." He then turned to address the bullpen. "Show's over, people! Get back to work! We've got a briefing to get started! Move!" At the sound of their boss' angry voice people returned to their work and those who were scheduled for the briefing began filing into the conference room.

Francine strolled up to Lee saying, "My, my"

"Whatever you've got to say, Francine, just stow it!" Lee said as he shoved Amanda's rings into his pocket and made his way into the conference room. He noticed that Amanda had taken a seat across from where she normally sat next to him She was sitting in the last chair toward the head of the table with Efraim Beaman beside her, so he reluctantly took the seat across from her and Francine slid into the chair next to him. "Great," he muttered. He knew everyone was staring at him and whispering amongst themselves. He supposed he deserved it for the chaos he had caused but he was beyond caring at this point. He didn't return any of their stares or listen to any of their whispers. His focus was only on his wife across the table who stubbornly refused to make eye contact with him. He knew that she'd misunderstood when he said they'd may a mistake, but he hadn't meant their marriage was a mistake, only the secrecy of it. If only he could get her to look at him, he knew he could let her know that without words. Sometimes they didn't need words to communicate.

"Ok, People, let's get down to business!"Billy said as he entered the room immediately silencing the whispers as everyone straightened up in their seats ready to pay attention to their section chief.

The meeting droned on for what seemed like forever. Amanda wasn't paying attention to anything that Billy was saying just staring down at her legal pad in front of her nervously tapping her pencil against it. She knew Lee would be staring at her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him or she knew she'd break down in tears again. His words kept running through her head. _This whole damn thing was a big mistake right from the start! _ A mistake? When they'd said their vows four months ago, she would never thought it would have come to this. She thought she'd finally found a man who would live by the for-better-or-for-worse. Lord knows they'd been through more than their fair share of the for-worse part. She couldn't believe that just a few hours ago she'd felt closer to him than she had in a long time. Now not even twelve hours later, they couldn't be farther apart even though they were sitting in the same room. She was pulled from her thought by Billy's voice saying her name. "I'm sorry, Sir. What were you saying?"

Billy glanced at her, then at Lee and shook his head. Lee had just asked him the same thing. It was clear neither one of them had their minds on work after the major blow-up that had just occurred. "Ok, people meeting adjourned. Desmond, Beaman, get down to fabrications so they can start working on your covers, Stetson, King, My office! Now!" Everyone rose from their seats.

Beaman rushed to catch up with Francine and said, "Well, this should be an interesting assignment."

"Just don't you get any idea, Efraim. This is strictly business," Francine fired back as they exited the room.

Soon Lee and Amanda were the only ones left in the room. Amanda slowly rose from her seat with a sigh careful not to look at her husband. _Husband? _He hadn't really felt like her husband since they'd been married. She was starting to feel like she was reliving her failed marriage to Joe King all over again, only this time it wasn't her husband that was causing them to live separately, it was her. She just kept thinking about the danger that having Lee around all the time with all the enemies he'd made over the years would put her children in. She was terrified that they'd be caught in the crossfire, although is she were truly honest with herself, she would have to admit that there was a bigger fear that was keeping her from fully embracing Lee as her husband. When she walked by where Lee was still sitting he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Amanda," he said softly.

She pulled her arm out of his grasp still refusing to look at him. "Billy wants us in his office," she said as she forged her way out the door.

Lee sighed having no choice but to follow her out of the conference room and into Billy's office where his boss was already closing the blinds for privacy and his wife was already seated across from Billy's desk. He dropped wearily into the seat next to her.

Billy didn't sit at his desk as normal instead he leaned against the front of it, having a feeling that before this meeting was over, he may have to play referee. "Ok, Just what the hell is going on here?"he demanded. When both agents remained silent, he said, "Ok, You don't want to talk, the how about you listen! What happened out there today will _never _happen again. I told you a few months ago that I supported you personal relationship. Don't make me regret that decision. I don't care what you've got going on in your private life. Just keep it out of this office. If you don't, I'll be forced to assign you both new partners."

"NO!" Lee and Amanda said simultaneously.

"Ok, well, that's at least one thing you seem to agree on," Billy said. "I don't want to have to split you two up. You're the best damn team I've got. You work together better than any team I've ever seen, but if you can't keep it professional, I'll have no choice but to separate you." He picked up a file from his desk. "Now, I know neither of you heard a word I said in this meeting, so I'm going to break it down for you and I want both of you to pay attention this time. If I have to repeat it a third time, I'll write you both up!"

"We're listening," Lee said glancing over at his wife who as staring straight ahead. He reached for her hand that rested on the arm of the chair in an attempt to get her to look at him so he could make peace.

She yanked her hand away from him, "Don't touch me,' she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Funny, Not what you said last night," he countered. "In fact, I recall you begging me to keep touching you!"

"Well, that was before you started-"

"Enough!"Billy shouted silencing both of them.

"Go ahead, Sir," Amanda said while Lee just grunted and folded his arms tightly across his chest.

"All right, You two have an undercover assignment starting the day after tomorrow. We have some intel that a major coup is pending that could disrupt years of our efforts in keeping some semblance of peace in the Eastern Bloc. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that after the president's speech about tearing down the wall ten days ago, things have been in an uproar over there. There's a group called the Eastern Freedom Brigade..."

"I know them," Lee said. "I ran across a couple of their members last time I was in West Germany."

"Then I'm sure you know that they are the most radical group supporting freedom for the East Germans and their members will use any means necessary to achieve that. While I support the president's proposal to end the communist reign in east Germany, this intel we've got comes at a very delicate time. His speech seems to have earned Gorbechev's respect, but that could all go to hell if we let a bunch of crazies start blowing things up. The information we've got says that this brigade is planning to do just that, sometime between now and Sunday. The president's "tear down this wall" bit has them riled up in a way that we've never seen before. There's a group here in DC called the Marriage Survivalist Group that we've suspected is linked to them. We don't know all the details. We just know that there's supposed to be some major exchanges of weaponry at some couples' survival retreat at Hungry Mother State Park in Marion."

"Marion," Amanda said thoughtfully thinking back to the last time she'd been in Marion. That was the day she'd vowed to be with Lee forever. Who knew forever would be so short?

"You know it?"

"Um...Yeah..."she stammered. "I've...um...taking the boys camping there before." Lee snorted at Amanda's lie. He knew that's not why the mention of Marion had gotten her flustered.

"Well, the retreat is starting on Wednesday which is suspicious enough because the park isn't officially open to the public yet since it's been undergoing extensive remodeling since it was purchased by the state last year so the only way to get our people in is to sign them up for the retreat. The hang-up is that since it's being run by this Marriage Survivalist outfit, it's only open to married couples."

"What's the deal with this retreat?"Lee inquired.

"Well, from what I understand, they really put the for=better-or-worse part of a couple's marriage to the test, giving them all kinds of tasks to complete together that require teamwork. I don't know all the details, but supposedly it's to help couples connect with each other and test their commitment to one another by putting them through the ringer."

"Great," Lee said with a shake of his head. That's all they needed. One more thing to test their already rocky marriage.

"Do you think you two can handle posing as a married couple until Sunday with what's been going on in your personal life? If you don't think you can, I can always rotate the assignments and pair you with Francine and Beaman with Amanda."

"NO!" both Lee and Amanda answered.

"Good, so you can both be professional?"

"Absolutely, Sir," Amanda said with more confidence than she felt. "As long as Mr. Stetson can control his temper and his penchant for making scenes in public," she snarled.

"Well, I can keep my temper perfectly under control as long as Mrs. King..." He cringed a little at calling her that knowing she was really Mrs. Stetson, "...can put a lid on her need to always be in control and remember what it's like to be a team player." he fired back not looking at Amanda anymore.

"All right, you two, knock it off. I want you to get down to fabrications to get your cover started, then take the rest of today and tomorrow off to work on whatever started this feud. You're going to have to work as a team for five days and you can't do that if you're constantly sniping at each other."

"Yes, Sir," Amanda said rising from her seat. "Will that be all, Sir?"

"Oh, here," Billy said handing her the file before stepping back behind his desk. Amanda rather than walking in front of the chairs to get to the door, purposely walked out of her way behind them to avoid contact with Lee as he was sitting in the chair closer to the door. She walked out of Billy office with Lee hot on her heels.

As they entered the bullpen, a group of their co-workers burst into song, "I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Amanda!"

"Shut the hell up!" Lee snapped at all of them as he and Amanda made their way through the crowd but they didn't stop

The group didn't stop though, "I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day, Amanda."

Billy hearing the commotion, stepped out of his office and bellowed. "You heard the man. Shut the hell up! Get back to work, all of you, or I'll write everyone up!" He watched his favorite pair of agents with a deep heaviness in his chest as he observed Amanda walking as fast as her legs would carry her and Lee racing to catch up with her. He hoped they'd be able to repair whatever rift was between them soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: I wanted to add a little clarification on where I came up with Phillip and Jamie's ages at this point in their lives since the writers of the show were kind of stupid on that point and had them 8 and 10 for about two years. LOL. I'm basing my estimated ages for them on information from three different episodes. In "The Wrong Way Home" told Lee that Phillip was born in '73 and Jamie in '75. That combined with Jamie's birthday party in "Saved by the Bells" indicates his birthday is some time in November and Phillip's birthday party in "Fearless Dotty" would indicate that his is in March. With that in mind that would mean the boys are about two years and eight months apart in age. By that logic with this story being set in June 1987, Phillip would have already turned 14 while Jamie would not yet be 12. Once again, this became a longer chapter than I had anticipated but the ideas kept flowing so here it is.

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Amanda stepped into the elevator to take her back upstairs while Lee squeezed into it just before the doors could close in his face. He'd noticed she'd pushed the up button instead of down. "Fabrications is downstairs," He said.

"I'm not going to fabrications. I'm going home."

"Billy said..."

"I know what Billy said, but you and I both know we don't need them to create a cover for us as a married couple. If this group checks our cover, they'll find out we're legally married," She said sadly wondering how long that would be true. She put her hand on her chest feeling for the rings that normally gave her comfort when she was missing her husband. She panicked momentarily at not finding them there until she remembered that she'd ripped the chain from her neck in the heat of the moment.

"Looking for this?"He said as he pulled the chain out of his pocket.

"What? No," She said.

"Amanda, come on this is me you're talking to," when she didn't say anything, he tried again. "Amanda, we need to talk," he said stepping in front of her as best as he could in the tight space of the elevator giving her no choice but to finally look at him.

"I don't know what on earth you think we have left to talk about. You made your feelings perfectly clear up there."

"Please, Amanda," he said his eyes pleading as he placed her hands on his shoulders. "You misunderstood what I said up there. What I said about us making a mistake...I didn't mean that our marriage was a mistake. I meant the secrecy of it was a mistake. Marrying you was the best decision I've ever made in my life. Keeping it a secret form the world around us was the worst mistake I ever made in my life, but I want to rectify that. I love you more that I can put into words." He moved to her and reached around her neck to fasten the chain back in place disheartened when Amanda stiffened at this touch. "You're angry, I get it. I deserve it, but we need to talk about this. We need to work this out."

"Another time, Lee. There's just too much right now," Amanda said as she picked up the chain momentarily staring at the diamond ring and the gold band on the end of it before tucking them into her blouse. He lifted a hand to caress her face hoping that would melt her steely resolve a little."We said a lot of hurtful things to each other and there isn't time to go into all of it right now. I still have two sick children at home," She shrugged him off just as the doors opened and shoved her way past him through the foyer. She turned around before exiting handing the file in her hands to him. She decided that she had to say something to him because he was at least making an effort."I'll see you Wednesday. You can pick me up at the house a little early and we can talk then," she said and without giving him a chance to say another word, she sped out the front door before he could see the tears that were about to fall.

Lee was left standing there with a troubled look on his face that was only made worse by Mrs. Marston staring him down with a contemptuous look. "What!" Lee growled. 'You have something to say like those jokers downstairs?"

"What do you expect me to say?"Mrs. Marston replied icily. "I heard you made quite an ass of yourself downstairs."

"Well, You're not wrong," he said with a sardonic chuckle.

"It'll blow over. Give Mrs. King some time to cool off and you'll work it out."

"What do you know about it?" he asked curiously.

"Mr. Stetson, I haven't been married Mr. Marston for twenty-five years by accident. It's taken a lot of hard work. Think about it," She said returning her gaze to the front door indicating as only she could that the conversation was over.

Lee trotted up the stairs to the Q Bureau and flung himself into this chair opening the file Amanda had just given him, trying to get his mind off of her. The more he stared at the paperwork in front of him, the less sense it made. He couldn't concentrate. How did things get so complicated? He had been happy as a bachelor. _Liar. You weren't happy. _He hadn't been. Oh, he'd tried to pretend that the swinging bachelor lifestyle suited him just fine, but deep down he was hollow and terrified to open his heart to anyone after Dorothy's death.

He'd lost himself in an endless string of night clubs and meaningless dates. He'd gone out with nothing but shallow women after that who would never call him out on his antics. He remembered how shocked Amanda had been during the Oz Network case when he was forced to confess that he had four black books. He had heard many people call him a womanizer, but that wasn't really a correct label for how he'd been. Playboy, maybe, but not womanizer. He wasn't a guy like Nick grant after all. He didn't go after married women just to get at their husbands. In fact, he'd never used women to get anything from them. He'd had to explain to Amanda that the names in the black books were not all women that he'd slept with, some he'd never even dated, some were co-workers or former co-workers, some were contacts, some were just friends and some were nothing at all to him. In his profession, he met a lot of women and he'd had a lot of them volunteer their phone numbers, but many of the numbers in the black books, he'd never even called. While it was true that in the ten years between Dorothy's death and the time he started seeing Amanda he'd slept with about twenty women, which sounded really bad by the number itself, but he didn't think that was so bad when you figured it was in a ten-year time span that's averaging two a year.

Sure, he'd dated a lot, but he wasn't a guy who dated just to get laid. He had liked the temporary companionship and he admitted it, he liked to romance women, buy them gifts, bring them flowers, compliment their outfits, take them out to a club or dinner but ultimately he dated a lot in a vain attempt to fill that hollowness inside him, hoping one day to find _the one_. He was never able to admit that to himself until a seemingly simple housewife had said to him shortly after they'd met. _"I hope you don't go to those singles bars. You will never meet a nice girl in one of those..."_ That was the first time he'd really thought about what he was doing with all the women he dated.

Of course, he'd soon learned that Amanda was not a simple housewife. Just the opposite, in fact. She was the most complicated damn woman he'd ever met. She never stopped surprising him or making him think about things about things in new ways. And she most definitely called him out on his bullshit, like today. He thought back to a dinner they'd had shortly before they were married when he'd been telling exaggerated tales of his traveling years and she'd given him this look. This look that clearly said _Do you really think I'm dumb enough to buy all this? _and W_ho do you think you're talking to?" W_ithout her ever opening her mouth to say anything, he had known that she knew he was full of shit. The crazy thing he, he loved that about her, that she didn't let him get away with anything, not bullshit stories, not keeping secrets from her, and she had forced him to give her his whole heart and not hold anything back. Not that she had done it intentionally, she wasn't like that. It was her damn brutal honesty that kept him honest too.

Lee finally decided that sitting there stewing wasn't getting anything done about it. He didn't know what he should do. Billy had told them to work it out, but Mrs. Marston had told him to give Amanda time to cool off. He picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number waiting for it to be answered. When the phone was answered, he said, "Hi, Dotty...No, I know Amanda's not home yet. She just left the office a few minutes ago. She should be there soon. I was just calling to see how the kids were." He waited a few minutes as his mother-in-law launched into one of her tirades...No, Dotty, calm down. I'll take care of it. You don't have to worry...I'll see you soon." He hung up the phone feeling better than he had all day.

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Amanda walked into the house to the sound of her mother raising her voice on the phone. "Well, I think it's just pretty sad that he cared enough to at least call and check on the children and he's not even their father, But you! You couldn't be bothered. Do you have any idea what Amanda has been going through here or do you just even care to know?...Joseph King, you listen to me! Your children are sick and they need to know that their father cares so you get your butt over here now or so help me God...hello?...hello?" Dotty slammed the phone back in its cradle and stared at it as if the phone itself had offended her.

"Mother, what's going on?" Amanda inquired, "Was that Joe you were just talking to?"

"Yes, for all the good it did! It's like talking to a wall only the wall will at least give you a reaction if you kick it." Amanda couldn't help but laugh at her mother's turn of phrase. "This isn't funny, Amanda. The father of your children, a man I once thought was so dependable, has abandoned his responsibility to his children in their time of need. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Yes, Mother of course it does, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't _make _him show up when he doesn't want to be here."

"You shouldn't have to handle the whole burden all by yourself."

"It's not a burden for me to care for my children. That's a mother's job."

"Well, it's a father's job too. I don't understand your cavalier attitude about it. If he was man enough to help you make these children then, by God, he should be man enough to help you care for them.

"I couldn't agree more," said Lee from behind them. Dotty and Amanda both turned to see Lee in the doorway, his arms laden with grocery bags. He stepped fully into the room and set the bags down on the countertop.

"Lee, what is all this?"Amanda said.

"I called here to check on the kids and your mother was in a panic because she was running out of clear liquids to give them and couldn't leave to go to the store until you got home so I told her I'd pick some stuff up," he explained as he started unpacking the bags. "Ginger ale," he said pulling out a pair of two liter bottles, chicken bouillon so we can make some more chicken broth," he said also setting it down on the counter. "I had a little trouble with the Gatorade. I was going to get the red kind because it tastes better, but then I remembered that Jamie's allergic to red food dyes, so I got the orange instead. Then I also got some pepto, just in case they're able to keep it down long enough for it to work."

Lee had barely put down the bottle of pepto when Amanda flung herself at him and kissed him tenderly and longingly, Dotty busied herself with putting everything away to give them a moment. "Thank you," Amanda said her eyes glistening with tears, this time of gratitude, not heartbreak.

"Just doing my part to help, something I should have done last night," He said in a normal tone then leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I am their stepfather, after al."

"Well I appreciate it very much."

"I figure I've got a lot of making up to do after the fight I caused."

"You didn't entirely cause it. I was being too stubborn, as usual."

"You two had a fight?"Dotty said. "That surprises me considering last night's events."

"Last night?"Lee said looking at Amanda.

"I didn't say anything Lee," Amanda said. "She figured out on her own that you were in my bedroom last night."

"Ah," Lee said and blushed slightly wondering what Dotty must think of him now that she knew he'd spent a good part of the night ravaging her only daughter.

"Well, Jamie's there now," Dotty said. He threw up in his bed about an hour ago. I had just finished helping him get into some clean PJs when Phillip started up again too, so I hadn't had time to change his bedding. I moved Jamie to your bed and helped Phillip get comfortable down here," she said gesturing toward the sofa where Phillip was fast asleep.

"I'll go take care of it," Amanda said.

"I'll help you," Lee said.

"You don't have to," she said but was touched by the thought.

"I want to."

"Ok," she said gratefully as they ascended the stairs together. "The clean sheets are in the linen closet next to the main bathroom."

"I know, Amanda, I've been here many times, remember?"

"Oh, right." Why was she treating him like a stranger all of a sudden? _Get it together, Amanda! _"Can you get a fresh set while I go peek in on Jamie to see how he's doing?"

"Of course," he said.

Amanda tiptoed down the hall to her own room while Lee opened the closet door to find the twin-size sheets. He scanned the shelves until he caught sight of the set he was looking for. He pulled the brightly colored red and blue sheets off the shelf and smiled at the Superman insignia on it. He remembered shortly after He and Jamie had gotten past the tension that had been between them having a conversation about Superman. Jamie had been a little bummed at being called a nerd by some of his classmates and Lee, knowing that Jamie loved Supermen comics had pointed out to them that the world saw Clark Kent as a nerd too, but that was because they didn't know how great he was underneath that nerdy exterior. Jamie, being the perceptive kid that he was, had caught on immediately to what Lee was trying to tell him about himself. He smiled at the memory. He reminiscence was stopped by Amanda returning.

"He's still sleeping for now, but I may need to get him up soon to give him another round of Tylenol. His fever's back."

"Well, let's get this taken care of so we can get him back in his own bed," he said as he and Amanda walked toward Phillip and Jamie's room.

"What a mess," Amanda said as she pulled the soiled blanket of the bed dropping it to the floor and was just reaching to strip the bed of its sheets when the smell hit her full force causing her stomach to turn over. She cover her mouth with her hand made a beeline for the bathroom.

"Amanda?" Lee said dropping the sheets in his hands and quickly following her. When he got there, he found her bent over the toilet retching violently. He knelt down beside her pulling her hair out of her face with one hand and placing the other on her back gently rubbing it to comfort her until it passed. "Are you ok?" he asked concern evident in his eyes.

"I think so," She said softly as she tried to get up.

"No, don't move yet. You just sit here for a minute to give our stomach a chance to settle." He stood up, went to the sink and yanked a Dixie cup from the dispenser on the wall, filled it with water and handed it to her. She'd managed to pull herself up to sit on the edge of the bathtub, but he could tell she was still shaky. "Here, sip this and don't go anywhere."

"Lee, I have things to do. The kids need to be taken care of," she protested.

"You let me worry about that. I'm here to help and you need to be taken care of, too. It seems that you've caught this bug from the boys." He placed a light kiss to her forehead. "You don't have a fever he said so maybe it's just a mild case. Now, you just sit here while I finish up Jamie's bed, then we'll get him into it and get you into yours."

"Lee, I can't," she protested again.

"No arguments. I mean it! You're not going to out-stubborn me this time." He left the room and went back to the task at hand making quick work of the soiled bedding and replacing it with the fresh sheets, making another trip back to the linen closet for a fresh blanket. He then checked in on Amanda who was amazingly still sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "How you feeling?"

"Fine, really. I don't think I've got this same bug. The nausea has passed already. I think I'm just tired. I haven't slept much and haven't been eating like I should. With that and the stress I've been under..."

"And I contributed to that stress," Lee said guiltily.

"You weren't entirely wrong though, Lee. I never did think about what it's like for you living alone and I _do _have my family here to make the loneliness a little more bearable. You don't know how many times I've wished things could be different, but I just don't see how they can be."

"Shhh," Lee said, brushing her hair out of her face. "We don't have to talk about this right now."

"You were the one pushing me to talk about what we haven't been talking about."

"I know, but I picked a really bad time to have a meltdown about it. I didn't realize what you were going through here. I should have been here helping you last night instead of at my place stewing about our situation."

"It's not your responsibility, Lee."

"Yes, it is," he corrected her. "The world may not know it, but when I married you, I knew that I wasn't just marrying you. I was marrying into this family and I should have embraced that months ago instead of letting you carry the load by yourself."

"Lee, you've been great, getting to know the boys, hanging out with them..."

"But it's not enough. I should have been here for the bad stuff as well as the good stuff. For better or for worse, remember?"

"Yeah," she said with a smile.

"Now, we need to get Jamie taken care of to get his fever down. You get the Tylenol while I get him moved back to his own room."

"Ok," Amanda said as she stood slowly, fighting off a wave of dizziness.

Lee noticed her faltering and said, "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, Just a little light-headed, probably from hunger."

"When was the last time you ate?"

"I don't know...um...I think I had half a bagel about seven or so this morning."

"You, the breakfast of champions queen?'

"Oh, shut up," she said with a chuckle. "I was just so focused on the boys, I didn't really have time to think about myself."

"Well, we're going to change that as soon as we get Jamie squared away. Half a bagel nine hours ago isn't enough to sustain anybody." He left the room and made his way down the hall to Amanda's room and knelt beside his sleeping stepson gently nudging him awake.

"Mom?" Jamie said groggily.

"No, Jamie, It's Lee," He said reaching out to check his forehead.

Jamie opened his eyes and said, "I'm hot."

"Yes, you are, Kiddo. You're burning up, but your mom and I are going to get you all fixed up. Can you sit up?" Lee helped Jamie to a sitting position but the boy was too weak to help much. "Hey, come here. Put your arms around my neck. I've got you." He lifted the eleven-year old out of Amanda's bed and carried him down the hall to his own room.

While Lee had been tending to Jamie, Amanda had taken a moment to collect herself trying to fight off the waves of dizziness that kept coming and going. She'd washed her face and brushed her teeth to make herself feel a little better before rooting in the medicine cabinet for the Tylenol. Amanda exited the bathroom with a bottle of Tylenol and a cup of water for Jamie and smiled as she watched her husband carrying her sick child to his room and gently set him down on his own bed. At that moment, witnessing something so simple, made her heart swell with renewed love for her husband. She walked into the boys room behind him. "Here we go," Amanda said as she handed the bottle to Lee.

"How much should we give him?'

"Just one," Amanda said "Those are the extra strength for adults. Any more than one in 6 hours is too much for a child under twelve. Now, Phillip, being fourteen can take two if he needs them."

"Ok," he said with a smile as his wife. The fact that she knew that right off the top of her head was just one of the many things that made her such an incredible mother. He'd love to be able to broach the subject of making her a mother again. but that discussion was a long ways away. They had to figure out what they were doing with their marriage before that topic could even been brought up. Once Jamie was settled, medicated, tucked in and was drifting back off to sleep, Lee and Amanda exited the room but left the door open so they could hear him if he needed anything. "Now, that he's resting again, I want you to get some rest too."

"Lee, I can't until I know the kids don't need me."

"No arguments, Amanda. You said yourself, you haven't had much sleep," He said as he guided her toward her room with a hand on her back. "Come on."

When they reached her room and she sat down on the bed, was when Amanda realized how truly exhausted she was. She kicked off her shoes and laid down not caring that her work clothes would get all wrinkled. "Thank you," she said looking up at her husband as she reached for his hand and gently squeezed it.

He gently sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed his hand across her forehead and through her hair. "Stop thanking me. I'm just doing what and husband and father _should_ do." Amanda smiled at the fact that he used the world father, not stepfather. He lightly kissed her lips and said, "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."

"I love you, too," she said.

"Now, get some sleep," He said as he rose from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"There's still stuff to be done around the house."

"I should help you," she said.

"Don't you dare get out of that bed. The best way you can help me is by helping yourself. You're not going to do anybody any good if you collapse from exhaustion and starvation. You get some rest and I'll take care of dinner and come wake you when it's ready, ok?"

"Ok," she said and finally stopped fighting the weariness that had been threatening to consume her all day.


	5. Chapter 5

After putting his wife to bed, Lee walked back down toward the boys' room to gather up the bedding he'd tossed in the hall and carried it downstairs to throw it in the washer right away before anything could set in. He walked through the kitchen to where his mother-in-law was stirring her homemade chicken broth on the stove. "Where's Amanda?"

"She's resting," he said as he made his way to the laundry room by the back door. He set the bedding down for a moment as he reached for the dial on the washer and turned it to the proper setting.

"You should let me do that," Dotty said from behind him.

"Dotty, no offense, but I've been doing my own laundry for years. I've got this. You go take care of your chicken broth."

"Um...ok," Dotty said eying him suspiciously as he pulled the knob on the washer and dumped in soap powder, waiting a moment for it dissolve before loading the sheets into the machine. Satisfied that he was doing it right, she shook her head and returned to the kitchen.

Lee completed his task slammed the washer lid shut and walked back to the kitchen. It was then that he noticed that there was a fresh pot of coffee on the counter. "Dotty, do you mind?" He asked gesturing to the coffee pot.

"Of course not, Lee. I'd say you've earned it if you got my daughter to take a few minutes for herself."

Lee pulled a cup out of the cupboard, poured the steaming liquid into them before grabbing a spoon out of the drawer beneath it. He added his cream and stirred it in. "Actually, I don't think I really had anything to do with that decision." He said as he took a sip of his coffee tossing the spoon in the sink behind him. "I think she's picked up the same bug the boys have."

"She's sick too? No wonder she was looking so run down. I thought it was just lack of sleep combined with the fight you two had."

"Yeah, she took one look at the mess Jamie's bed was in and it sent her hurtling to the bathroom."

"Is she running a fever like the boys have been?"

"She wasn't when I last checked."

"Hmm, interesting," Dotty said.

"What's interesting?" Lee said.

"Well, I'm just thinking that if she's not running a fever, maybe it's not stomach flu. Because you stomach flu is not actually the flu. It's caused by a virus which means it almost always includes a low-grade fever."

"What else would it be?"Lee asked looking at her curiously.

"You tell me. You spend more time with Amanda than I do these days."

"Not really, not lately, not outside of work, That's actually part of what we were fighting about today," Lee said which was partially true. They were fighting about keeping their relationship a secret and how it seemed to always keep them apart.

"Lee, come on, you already know that I know you were in Amanda's bedroom last night and I know you weren't in there playing checkers."

"No, we weren't," he said with an embarrassed smile. "I know what you're thinking. I shouldn't have come here last night sneaking in her bedroom window. I just wasn't thinking about anything except how much I missed her. It had been a month since we'd..." he hesitated trying to think of how to phrase what he was thinking "...spent any quality time together."

"I'm not judging Lee. I know you love Amanda very much. It's really not my place to judge anyway. You're both adults, but I'm not going to lie to you and say that I'm not concerned for my daughter's future."

"I can understand that," Lee said.

"So, let me ask you a question, Lee. A month ago when you and Amanda last "spent quality time together' did you take precautions."

"Oh," Lee said realization of what Dotty was getting at hit him like a ton of bricks. He thought back to the last big fight they'd had and the making up after it. They'd made love through the rest of the afternoon and well into the night until they were both too exhausted to move and they hadn't taken a single precaution. They'd been so preoccupied with making up to each other, talking, kissing and making love, neither of them had thought about it. That means that his wife might be carrying his child. He couldn't help smiling at the thought even though he knew it would be a mess for a while because no one knew they were married.

Dotty, ever observant, noticed the change in Lee's facial expression. "I see," she said with a shake of her head. "So, it's entirely possible that you've impregnated my daughter." It was a statement, not a question.

"I guess it is," he said quietly.

"Do you plan to marry her?"Dotty asked bluntly. She was tired of tiptoeing around the subject.

"That was the other part of our fight today."

" Let me guess, you're ready to move on the next phase in your relationship and she's got cold feet?"

"Sort of," Lee said.

"I knew it! I just knew it! Oh, that daughter of mine. Why is she so afraid to make a commitment? She admits that she loves you, so what's holding her back? I know what it is. It's Joe King! That man has ruined her forever, leaving her with two babies to raise by herself while he went traipsing all over the place! It's made her afraid to really trust another man. You know when they first got married, I thought he was a nice, stable young man. I mean, he worked hard in college in law school. he was smart, responsible and cute, but then he took that job and everything changed. If it weren't for the fact that she got two wonderful children out if, I'd say she never should have married him at all!"

Phillip groaned from the couch, having been awakened by his grandmother's tirade. Lee quickly set his coffee cup aside and went to check on him. He leaned over the back of the couch to look at his stepson. "Hey, Chief, how you feeling," he said.

"Thirsty," Phillip rasped.

"We'll take care of that," Lee said as returned to the kitchen where Dotty was ladling some of her fresh-made chicken broth into a bowl while Lee poured a glass of ginger ale for Phillip.

"Lee, see if you can't get him to eat some of this. Poor boy hasn't had anything in his stomach since dinner last night," Dotty said as she dog a spoon out for the broth she'd just dished up and handed them to Lee.

"Will do," Lee said. The doorbell rang as Lee took the bowl from his mother-in-law. "I'll get that."

He walked carefully through the kitchen so as not to spill the broth. He set them both down on the coffee table while he helped Phillip sit up enough to eat, propping a pillow up behind his stepson. Once that was done, Lee picked up the glass of ginger ale holding it to Phillip's parched lips, "Now, sip slowly. Little sips. Don't guzzle it. We don't want it coming right back up, do we?" He helped him take a couple of sips before Phillip let his head drop back. Lee heard talking from the foyer, but couldn't quite make out what was being said until they got closer.

"Well, Amanda's resting right now, but her boyfriend's here," Dotty said. Lee cringed a little at being called Amanda's boyfriend when he was actually her husband. "If you work with Amanda, you must know him too. He's been such a godsend today."

"Her boyfriend?"Francine's bewildered voice said as she and Dotty stepped into the den together.

_Crap, _Lee thought at hearing Francine's voice. He chose to ignore her for the moment. There was a child in front of him who needed his help. "Come on, Chief, Let's see if we can get some of this broth that your grandmother made in you before it gets cold."

"Nooo," Phillip whimpered weakly. "It'll just make me sick again."

"We have to take that chance. Look at how cracked your lips are. That's a sign that you're getting dehydrated. We have to get some fluids in you," he said dipping out a spoonful of broth and holding under Phillip's nose. "Mmm. Smells good. Your grandma sure knows how to cook. "

"Mm-mm," Philip said still refusing.

Francine smirked at Lee and the trouble he was having with getting Phillip to eat.

"Ok, Phillip, we've got two choices here, You can either get some more fluids in you to get you re-hydrated or I can take you to the hospital where they'll stick an IV in your arm to force fluids on you."

"IV?"Phillip said.

"Yep, that means, they'll stick a needle in your arm right about there," He said poking at Phillip's arm to make his point.

"Ok, I guess I can try," Phillip said reluctantly.

"That's mu boy," Lee said with a smile.

"Where are my manners," Dotty said suddenly. She'd been so engrossed in watching Lee with her grandson and thinking what a wonderful father he'd make that she'd completely forgotten they had company. "Would you like a cup of coffee, Miss Desmond?"

"Don't bother, Dotty," Lee said without taking his eyes off his teenage stepson. "Francine, can't stay, can you , Francine."

"Don't be rude, Lee," Dotty said. "I know you have better manners than that.

"Actually, since our latest film project isn't starting until Wednesday, I have all the time in the world," Francine said. "I would _love _a cup of coffee, Mrs. West."

"I'll get it for you," Dotty said pleasantly. "Do you take cream? Sugar?"

"Just black is fine," Francine replied. "So, I have to ask is Lee the boyfriend you were talking about? The godsend?"

"Of course, he came over here to help with the children being ill, which is more than I can say for their own father," Dotty said bitterly.

"Dotty," Lee said in a warning tone. He had no love for Joe King, but he didn't feel it was right to bad-mouth him in front of his child. Phillip having gotten a few spoonfuls of broth down gestured for his glass of ginger ale. Lee put the bowl down and handed Phillip the glass.

"It's ok, Lee," Phillip said as he sipped his ginger ale. "I know Dad doesn't give a crap about us now that he's getting married again,"

"Now, Phillip, Sweetheart, You know that isn't true," Dotty said. "Your father loves you very much."

"Nice try, Grandma, but if that were really true, he wouldn't have dumped us here as soon as he realized Jamie was sick. We were supposed to spend the whole week with him. Some summer vacation."

"I know," Lee said placing a hand a Phillip's shoulder. It really stinks, huh?"

"Where's mom, anyway?"

"She's not feeling good either so I made sure she stayed upstairs in bed," Lee answered. "She needed her rest."

"I'm really glad you're here to take care of all of us," Phillip said as he leaned forward to hug Lee. "I wish you could be my dad."

"Me too, Chief, me too," he said, tears springing to his eyes as he hugged his stepson. "When Phillip released him, he asked, "So how's the tummy feeling? He reached out to rub Phillip's stomach. "Any rumbles?"

Phillip shook his head "Not so far."

"Good, so let's try to finish up this broth. You think you got it by yourself? I need to have a talk with Miss Desmond."

"Yeah, thanks, Lee," he said.

"Anytime, Buddy," Lee said. "If you need anything, you just holler, ok?"

"Yep," Phillip said with a nod as he slowly sipped his broth.

Lee rose from the couch, grabbed Francine by the arm and dragged her into the kitchen coffee cup and all. "What the hell are you doing here, Francine?"

"I came by to talk to Amanda. I thought she might need a friend after the knock-down-drag-out you two had at the office today."

"No, you didn't, Francine. You came here to tell Amanda once again what a ruthless cad you think I am and that she should get as far away from me as possible before I break her heart. Does that about sum it up?"

"Well, I don't know that I'd have said ruthless cad. After the stunt you pulled today, I might have said vile manipulator. The way you were pouring your heart out about how tortured you were going home to an empty apartment. Great attempt pulling at Amana's heartstrings."

"Get out, Francine," Amanda said from the stairs.

"Amanda, what are you doing out of bed?" Lee said as he watched her step down slowly to the landing struggling to hold herself up. He rushed to her to catch her before she fell helping her to sit on the arm of the couch.. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I can't. Jamie needs to go to the hospital. His temperature's up to 103."

"Oh my God," Lee said as she rushed up the stairs.

"Mom, are you ok?

"I'll be fine, Sweetheart," she said she hoped convincingly not wanting to worry her son. She turned to look at him, happy to see that he had more color in his face. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel a lot better. Lee was helping me too."

"Lee's a good man," she said with a smile.

Francine snorted and said, "How can you say that after the way he acted today/"

"Francine, what are you still doing here," Amanda said weakly. "I told you to get out of my house."

"Amanda, I just came here because I was concerned about you."

"No, you didn't. You came here to lecture me about being with Lee when you think he's nothing but a womanizing scoundrel, but you're wrong about him, Francine. He was here when I needed him in spite of the huge fight we had. That's saying something. If you're so bitter that you can't see that and all you can do is spread negativity, then I don't want you in my house."

"Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you," Francine said on her way out

Lee came down the stairs with Jamie in his arms wrapped in a blanket to keep him warm and carried him out through the French doors to get to the station wagon parked in the driveway. When got him laid down in the back seat, he hurried back in for his wife. "Come on, Amanda, you need to see a doctor too."

"No, Lee, I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You can't even hold yourself up. You're going."

"Someone has to stay here with Phillip."

"I'll stay with Phillip," Dotty said.

"But what if something happens and Phillip needs a doctor too?"Amanda protested.

"Then your mother can take him in my car," he said as he fished his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Dotty. "There, that's settled, now, let's go."

"But."

"I'm done arguing with you," Lee said impatiently. "You're going and that's final!" He then swept her up into his arms and carried her out the same way he had her son.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour later, Lee still sat in the ER waiting room not know what was going on. He was pacing back and forth impatiently. He stepped up to the reception desk for about the tenth time and said to the girl behind the desk, "Just when the hell is somebody going to tell me what's going on with my family? Just what the hell is the damn problem?"

"The problem, Mr. Stetson," said a voice behind him, "Is that you're not family to either of them which means we can't release their information to you without Mrs. King's permission." Lee grunted in frustration. This was just one more problem with their secret marriage. He _was _family and he couldn't tell that that he was. "Mrs. King has asked to see you. She's granted her consent to advise you of her son's condition, but I think she wants to talk to you herself about her own. If you'll follow me please," the doctor said. Lee followed the ER doctor through what seemed like an endless maze until he pointed to an exam room at the end of the corridor. "Right in there, Mr. Stetson."

Lee entered the room to find his wife sitting up idly toying with her engagement ring and wedding band on their chain. She was already looking better than she had been. "Hi," he said. "How you feeling?" he said as he sat on the edge of her bed and held her hand.

"Kinda dumb right now."

"I'll get to that in a minute," she said. "First, I wanted to let you know how Jamie's doing."

"Yeah, how is he?"

"He's severely dehydrated and he has not only the stomach virus, but an intestinal infection as well. They've got him on an antibiotic for the infection and a fever reducer. They've also got him on an IV drip to get him rehydrated, but they think as long as they can get his fever down, he can go home tomorrow morning."

"Good," Lee said breathing a sigh of relief. "What did they say about you?"

"They're going to keep me overnight for observation."

"But what's wrong with you?"he said.

"Well, part of it was like I said, stress combined with lack of sleep and lack of food, but those things only made the symptoms of an already existing condition worse."

"What condition?"

"That's where the dumb part comes in because I should have figured it out myself. I've been down this road twice before."

"Are you trying to tell me what I think you're trying to tell me?"he said with a smile thinking back to hi s conversation with Dotty earlier.

"Lee, I'm pregnant."


	6. Chapter 6

Lee's heart jumped for joy when Amanda confirmed what he already suspected. He couldn't stop smiling, He was going to be a dad. He lightly stroked her stomach before leaning in to hiss her softly. He pulled back and gazed into her eyes his own filling with happy tears. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," she said smiling slightly at seeing his happiness, but she couldn't help the worry that crossed her face soon afterward.

Lee's face fell at seeing her expression change, "Amanda, please, tell me you're not unhappy about this."

"No, I'm happy. I've thought so many times about how much I would love to give you a child of your own ever since I first saw how you interacted with Phillip and Jamie. I knew from that moment on that you would be an incredible father someday, but I never thought it would actually happen."

"Well, it has."

"I know," she said with a hint of sadness.

"You're not doing a whole lot to convince me that you're happy about this," Lee said filled with trepidation.

"Lee, I'm happy. I really am, but also worried, scared, confused. This complicates things."

"I know it does," Lee said. "Because no one knows we're married, but that's all the more reason we should just come clean about the whole thing."

"We can't, Lee. You know we can't. This doesn't change anything. In fact, it makes our situation even worse now that we'll have an infant to worry about."

"Are you kidding me, Amanda? This changes _everything_! We can't keep living apart now that we're having a baby."

"How do you think we're going to be able to protect a baby? It's at least a little easier with the boys because they're older, but a baby will be helpless."

"You think I don't know that? That's why we should be together all the time. We can protect our child together." When Amanda didn't say anything, he said, "So, what's your solution? We keep living separate lives and I become some pathetic weekend dad like your ex? I won't do that, Amanda. I won't be kept out of my child's life. It's bad enough right now that I can't be a real husband to you. And what about The Agency? Do you just plan on hiding who your baby's father is like we're hiding our marriage?"

"No, I don't think that's an option after our very public display today. I think everyone will know that you're this baby's father."

"So, what you just want to let then believe that I'm some worthless deadbeat dad who knocked you up but didn't live up to my responsibility to you and our child. That would do wonders for my already tarnished reputation around there."

"You said you don't give a damn what any of them think," she reminded him.

"Well, this is different. I fully intend to be a full-time father to this baby. I don't care if we have to install a dozen alarm systems, motion detectors, infrared, surveillance cameras and post 24/7 armed guards at our front door to protect our family, we are _going_ to live like a normal couple, a normal family."

"You're really serious about this," Amanda said.

"Damn right I am," Lee said unwaveringly. "Amanda, have you even stopped to think about how incredible this is. You and me, we made a baby together. Our love created a new life that's growing inside you right now. That there is a combination of you and me in there is the most amazing thing in the world to me," he said his hand still lightly stroking her abdomen. "But I guess it probably doesn't seem so amazing to you since you already have two kids," he said hanging his head.

"No, Lee, it _is_ amazing. And beautiful," She said as she reached up to stroke his face hoping he would look back up at her. When he finally did, she continued. "This baby was conceived in a lot of love, but I'm so terrified of what could happen," She said as she reached for him for comfort and let the tears she'd been holding back fall.

Lee wrapped his arms around his wife and let her cry on his shoulder. "You don't have to be. We can get through this and make it work, but we have to do it like we do everything else, together."

When her sobbing subsided, she pulled back to look at him. "You seem so sure about this, you almost make me believe it can work."

"Believe it, Amanda. You're supposed to be the optimist and I'm supposed to be the pessimist, remember? If I can have enough faith in us to believe it, you should too."

"I love you so much," Amanda said as she tightened her arms around his neck pulling him to her for a long, slow kiss.

"Ahem," said the ER doctor behind them as he'd just entered the room. When they broke apart, he said to Lee, "So, I take I you've been given the good news."

"Yeah, I'm gonna' be a daddy," He said with jubilation.

"Congratulations," the doctor said. "I hate to do this to you, but I'm gonna' have to kick you out soon."

"How's Jamie?"He asked.

"We've got him moved up to Pediatric Care, room 510. They'll monitor him very closely throughout the night. His temperature's dropped a little, so we're hoping it'll be back to normal by morning and he should be able to go home. As for you, Mrs, King, We need to get you moved up to OB/GYN where they're a little better equipped to look after you and your little one. We're going to keep you on this IV for the rest of the night to get you rehydrated and correct your nutrient deficiency. No more skipping meals and make sure you're getting plenty of sleep. You need to take care of that baby of yours. You got it?" When she nodded, he continued. "They've got room 336 all ready for you. We'll have an orderly come in here soon to transport you up there."

"Hence the need to kick me out," Lee said.

"You got it," the doctor answered.

"Is it ok if I go visit Jamie while you're moving her?"

The doctor glanced at Amanda looking for confirmation who nodded in response. "I don't see a problem with it," he said. "Just keep in mind that he needs his rest. He's been a very sick little boy."

"I understand," Lee said before turning to his wife. "I'll see you soon. I love you," he said lightly kissing her before exiting the room. He walked back through the maze to the ER waiting area wandering until he found a phone. He wanted to call the house to keep Dotty from worrying. The phone was answered on the first ring. "Hi, Dotty, it's me," he said.

"Oh, Lee, I'm so glad you called. It's been over an hour. I was starting to get so worried."

"I know, Dotty, I'm sorry about that. I just found out what was going on myself. There weren't very forthcoming with information since I'm not immediate family," he said hating himself for continuing to lie to his mother-in-law, but until he and Amanda could sit down and device a plan of attack to drop the bomb, he felt it was best to wait even though his heart was crying out to tell the truth.

"Well, that's just ridiculous," Dotty said. "You and Amanda may not have made it official yet, but you are most definitely a member of this family. I mean, it is only a matter of time before you talk my daughter into letting you make an honest woman of her."

"Thanks, Dotty," he said with a smile at her determination that he and Amanda would marry. He wondered how she would react when she found out that he'd already married her four months ago without telling her. He imagined she would not be so tickled.

"So, what's going on?"

"They want to keep both of them overnight. Jamie's been moved to his own room in Pediatric Care and they've got him medicated to the gills. I'm gonna' go up and see him when we're done talking."

"And Amanda?"

"They're getting ready to move her to her own room now where they can keep an eye on her. She's a little dehydrated and malnourished so they've got her on an IV drip to get her rehydrated and give her the nutrients she needs. She let herself get to run down taking care of the kids."

"I'm glad you were there to make her see reason. She never listens to me." Dotty paused for a moment, then asked, "So, where are they moving her to?" Lee hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should be honest with her or not. "Lee?"

He decided that it was best to tell her the truth about this since she'd already suspected what was wrong with Amanda anyway, "OB/GYN." he said an waited for the fallout. He was surprised when it didn't come. "Dotty/"

"So, I was right," she said quietly.

"Yeah, you were. Amanda's pregnant. I'd appreciate it if you could keep this to yourself until we figure out how to tell the kids."

"Of course, Lee. How are you feeling about it?"

"Happy, confused, terrified, anxious, and a whole host of other things that I can't really put into words, but mostly happy."

"Well, that's all normal. I have a feeling though that you are going to be a wonderful father to my newest grandchild."

"I hope so," Lee said nervously.

"I have no doubt," Dotty said. "Thanks for the update. I should let you go so you can go visit Jaime."

"All right, if it's not too late when I get out of here, I'll try to swing back by the house to check on Phillip too."

"You should come by anyway, no matter how late it is."

"Ok," he said. As he hung up the phone and was preparing to go to Jamie's room ha paused at seeing Joe King approaching the ER reception desk.

"I'm Joseph King," Joe was saying to the receptionist. "My son, James King, was brought in tonight."

"Nice of you to finally make an appearance," Lee said from behind him. "Did Dotty call you?"

Joe turned around. "Yeah, she did. What are you doing here?"

"I'm the one that brought Jamie and Amanda here. I'm looking after my family, something you could stand to learn a thing or two about," Lee said seething that it had taken Jamie being hospitalized to get Joe's attention.

"You married Amanda in secret. That hardly makes my son your family," Joe replied. Ever since Amanda had told him her plans with Lee he'd resented the other man. He'd agreed to keep her secret, but didn't like it one bit.

"Wrong. He _is_ my family and so is Phillip, even Dotty. They're all my family, whether you like it or not, I'm going to be a part of their lives. Somebody has to be," he said pointedly.

"Ok, I deserve that," Joe said.

Lee sighed. "Look, I was just going to go upstairs and see Jamie if you want to tag along."

"He's not still in the ER?"

"No, they're keeping him overnight."

"It's that serious?"Joe said worriedly.

Lee smiled a little at the change in Joe's expression. At least that demonstrated that he cared a little about his son. "Yeah, it's that serious." he said as the two of them walked toward the main elevator together.

"Is Amanda already up there?"

"No, she's being admitted too. They kicked me out so they could move her upstairs."

"She's sick too? Did she pick up this bug from Jamie?"

"Nope." Lee said as she jabbed the up button on the elevator with his thumb.

"She hasn't been injured on the job again, has she?" he said with a disdainful look at Lee.

"Nope." Lee said again as he stepped into the open elevator and waited for Joe to step in behind him before pushing the button for the fifth floor.

"Well, then what's wrong with her?"

"Look, Amanda's not your concern anymore. She's mine. You've been divorced for over five years. She's _my_ wife now."

"We may not be married anymore, but that doesn't mean that I don't still care about what happens to her. She's still the mother of my children," He reminded Lee. "Besides, I don't know how you can really call her your wife. You two may have the paperwork, but you don't have a real marriage when you don't even share a home."

"You don't know _what_ Amanda and I have. What right do you have to say my marriage to Amanda is not real? It's not like you and Amanda shared a home, not really. I've spent more time in that house in the last year alone than you ever did the entire ten years you were married to her."

"That's what makes no sense to me in this whole thing. That's the exact reason that Amanda and I got divorced, because she wanted a stable home life, yet she married you in secret and seems to be accept just fine that you're not together all the time."

"Maybe she and I just have a deeper connection that makes her want to work harder at sustaining a long-distance marriage," he said stepped through the now opened elevator doors in the Pediatric Care wing looking for signs indicating what direction to take to get to Jamie's room. "Or maybe she never wanted to marry you in the first place but felt she had to." Lee found the direction he needed and began following the signs to get to his stepson's room.

Joe grabbed Lee's arm to stop him. "Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? What would you know about it?"

"When I was working on your case when you were accused of murdering the Estoccian Prime Minister, I had to research your entire history including your history with Amanda and what I found was pretty interesting."

"Oh? And what's that?"

"I've done the math, Joe. You and Amanda were married in August of '72 and Phillip was born in March of '73. That's only seven months. Makes me wonder if she would have married you if she hadn't been pregnant or if you'd have even asked her. The way you treated her, you sure as hell didn't seem like a guy who wanted to be married." He started walking down the hall again. Joe following behind him.

"I could say the same about you since you don't want to make your marriage public knowledge."

"Actually, that couldn't be further from the truth. Nothing would make me happier than to go public and stop hiding, but that's not really any of your business, just like what's going on with her health is none of your business." When he reached his destination, he stopped. "Here it is, room 510. Before we go in, I suggest we table this discussion. Jamie doesn't need be involved and our difference of opinion."

"I couldn't agree more," Joe said.

"Good," Lee said as he pushed opened the door and walked to Jamie's bedside while Joe hung back at the door for a moment. "Hey, Buddy, how you feeling," Lee said gently sitting on the side of the bed placing a hand to his forehead, happy to find that his skin felt cooler.

"Icky," Jamie said. "But better than I did."

"Your fever's down. That's a good sign."

"How's mom?"

" You mom is tough She's going to be just fine. The doctors are going to fix her up, just like they're fixing you up."

"Has she got the same thing I've got?"

"Nope, she's got something else going on and your mom and I will tell you all about when you get better. I don't want you to worry about your mom anymore. You've got enough to worry about with fighting off this infection, ok? I promise you, I'm going to make sure your mom is well taken care of."

"Good," Jamie said.

"Listen, your dad's here to see you too," Lee said nodding to Joe who was now standing behind him. "And I should go check on your mom to see if they've got her moved to her own room yet. I'll come back by to check on you again another time, ok?" Lee bent to place a kiss on his stepsons forehead before rising to let Joe visit with his son alone..

"OK," Jamie said. "Seeya' Lee." Lee was about out the door when Jamie's voice stopped him. "Lee?"

He turned and said, "yeah?"

"Thanks for taking such good care of me and mom."

"You're welcome." He said with a smile before leaving to go check on his wife and unborn child.

By the time Lee reached the third floor and found Amanda's room, he found that she was already sound asleep. He didn't want to disturb her, but he didn't want to leave her either so he pulled a chair to her bedside and just held her hand while she slept. The longer he sat there just watching her, the more he felt the stress of the day kicking in and before he even realized what was happening, he was dozing off too. He was awakened about an hour later by Joe's voice behind him saying, "So, this is why you didn't want to tell me what was going on with Amanda."

Lee sat up and turned to glare at Joe. "So much for hospital policy of not releasing medical information to anyone but immediate family."

"As far as the hospital staff is concerned, I am immediate family. It wasn't too difficult to convince them of that. She may be married to you, but she still legally has my name."

"You rotten bastard," Lee growled. "Well, It won't happen again. I'll make sure that her name changes very soon," Lee said.

"You know, I find it ironic that you were judging me downstairs, but it took you getting Amanda pregnant to stand up and do the right thing by her."

Lee rose from his chair facing down Amanda's ex. He'd had just about enough of him. "There's a big difference. Amanda and I were already married when our baby was conceived and I didn't marry her because I felt that I had to. I married her because I wanted to because I want spend my life with her."

"Living separate lives is what you call spending your life with her?"

"You have no room to talk. At least I still see her every day, even it's just at the office. I'm not on an entirely different continent."

"Stop it," Amanda said from behind them. Both men turned to look at her. "This macho pissing contest of your is pointless."

"Hey, how you feeling?"Lee said as he sat on the side of her bed, taking her hand in his again.

"I feel a little better," she said as she sat up and planted a light kiss to her husband's lips before turning her attention to her ex saying, "Joe, what are you doing here?"

"Your mom called me and told me Jamie was here."

"hmmm," Amanda said. "Yet you didn't bother to come by the house when she called you earlier in the afternoon to tell you that I needed help with both the boys being sick. It took Jamie having to be taken to the ER for you to take his illness seriously."

"Amanda..." Amanda held up a finger to silence him.

"Don't, Joe. Don't even try to make excuses. I don't care why you weren't there for the boys when they needed you. The reason doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that you neglected your responsibility to our children both last night and today and you're partially responsible for me being in here."

"How do you figure? _He's_ the one responsible for getting you pregnant," Joe argued with a spiteful glare at Lee.

"I had some involvement in that myself," she said with a grin at her husband. "That's not what I'm talking about. I'm not in here just because I'm pregnant. They're keeping me up here so they can keep an eye on me and make sure the baby's ok, but my pregnancy isn't what landed me here. Sleep deprivation and malnutrition did because I was so focused on taking care of the boys that I forgot to take care of myself. That's what you're responsible for by not giving me any help when I needed it. If it hadn't been for Lee stepping in, I'd be a whole lot worse off than I am now."

"Amanda,"

"Don't say a word, Joe. It's not just me that feels this way. Phillip does too. He thinks you don't care about him and Jamie and he even told Lee today that he wished he was his dad."

"How did you know about that?"Lee asked. "You were upstairs when he said that."

"Mother told me about your whole conversation with Phillip while you were carrying Jamie out to the car."

"I bet you're just loving this, aren't you," Joe said to Lee. "Now you've got not only my wife, but my kids too."

"Don't blame me because you threw your family away," Lee said hotly.

"I am _not _your wife! I'm his!"Amanda said just as heatedly. "You lost me a long time ago and you're in serious danger of losing your kids too if you don't straighten up."

"Are you saying that you'd keep the boys from me?"

'No, Joe, I would never do that. You should know that by now. It's not me you have to worry about. It's the boys. Do you think they haven't notice your indifferent attitude toward them?"

"Ok, I screwed up. I get it I panicked last night when Jamie started throwing up. I've never been around them when they've been sick. I didn't know what to do. I knew you would. I thought I was doing what was best for them for them to be cared for properly."

"So, why couldn't you have just called to ask me what to do or my mother or your mother. She'd have known what to do. Or call their doctor? You have his number. Or you could have taken Jamie to the hospital yourself. There are a number of things that you could have done instead of just leaving me to fend for myself and treating the boys like they're not important to you."

"That's not what I intended. They're very important to me."

"You might wanna let them know that."

"How do you suggest I do that?"

"How about taking the rest of the time you were supposed to have with them? That would help them have a little more faith in you and help me out at the same time. Lee and I have an undercover assignment starting Wednesday. It would help me to concentrate on my work better if I didn't have to worry about the boys."

"I can do that." Joe agreed.

"So, why don't you come by the house tomorrow evening and pick them up."

"Ok."

"Now, if you don't mind. I really need to get some sleep."

"I got it," he said. "Take care, Amanda." Joe left husband and wife alone.

"You should get some sleep too," Amanda said to her husband.

"I don't want to leave you."

"Lee, there's nothing you can do for me here. I'm in good hands and I don't want you getting yourself rung down. You need to take care of yourself too."

"You're right. I did promise your mom I'd swing by the house to check on Phillip before I call it a night, but I'll be back first thing in the morning."

"I'm counting on it," she said kissing him again. "Now, go on. Don't make me worry about you."


	7. Chapter 7

Lee, despite Amanda's protests, had stayed with her until she'd fallen back to sleep. He then decided to stop by Jamie's hospital room to check on him one more time before going back to the house. When he walked in he found Joe King sitting by his son's bedside watching him sleep. "Hi," he said from the doorway.

Joe turned. "Hi, come on in."

Lee walked into the room and said, "I'm surprised you're still here."

Joe sighed. "I get what you must think of me and you're probably not wrong to feel that way. I haven't exactly been a dedicated family man."

"Joe, I didn't come up here to busy your chops. I just came to check on Jamie. I'm not planning on staying long. I promised Dotty I'd go back to the house and check on Phillip too." He paused for a moment as he thought of Joe's insecurity about his ability to look after his sick child and said, "If it makes you feel any better, I don't know what I'm doing either. This fatherhood thing is completely new to me to and terrifying. It's funny, I can handle a KGB agent with a gun to my head and know exactly what to do but when it comes to kids, I'm completely flying blind." Joe chuckled a little.

"Did Phillip really say he wished you were his dad?"

"Yeah, he did. I didn't ask for anything like that and I sure as hell didn't expect it, but one thing I've learned about Phillip is that he's brutally honest just like his mother. If it's on his mind, he just blurts it out."

"Yeah, he definitely gets that from Amanda. Jamie's more like me, more reserved, holds things in."

"Yeah, I noticed. It took a long time for him to trust me. Sometimes, I'm still not sure he completely trusts me. I know that when Amanda told you about what Phillip said to me earlier had to be hard for you to hear, but Amanda only heard about it second-hand. She doesn't know everything that happened. What she didn't tell you is that Phillip fought me twice when I was trying to get him to eat his broth to keep him hydrated."

"Really?"Joe said with a bemused expression.

"I had to threaten him with bringing him to the hospital and making them stick an IV in him as an alternative before he would cooperate. I don't know if that was the right way to approach it, but I had to try something. That boy has definitely inherited his mother's stubbornness. Amanda fought me too when I tried to convince her that she needed a doctor. I had to physically carry her out of the house and put her in the car to get her to come here."

There was a long silence before either man spoke again while Joe pondered Lee's words and the events of the evening. "Look, you should know I didn't mean what I said earlier. I don't still think of Amanda as my wife. I have Carrie and I really love her. I mean, we're getting married in less than a month. But I do still think of Amanda as family because she's the mother of my children. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me to see another man caring for my family and doing it better than me. It's not about you personally. I think I would feel the same way if it were any other guy. You've been really good for Amanda. You've given her what I couldn't and she needs that, but it doesn't make it bother me any less or feel like less of a failure."

"I get that. I know that the fact that you have children together is something that will connect the two of you for life, but would you rather have her be married to a man who didn't give a crap about this kids.."

"Knowing Amanda, I don't think she could have ever married someone who wouldn't love the boys too."

"You're right about that. That's when I realized how much I wanted to marry her, I started spending more time at the house to get to know them. I knew that if I wanted her, I had to embrace them too. And the more time I spend with them, the more I fall in love with them the same way I fell in love with her. I love them so much it's painful sometimes, especially today with seeing them both sick. I wanted so much to be able to just take their pain away."

Joe nodded in understanding. "Wait until you have your own."

"I don't think it will make a difference. I love them as if they were my own and I don't think that I could love my own child anymore that I do them. With that in mind. I think you should know that I'm not trying to take your place or trying to take anything away from you. No matter how much I love them, I accept that you're their father and I'm not, but I'm not going to shirk my responsibility to them as their stepfather or my responsibility to Amanda to share the parenting duties. They may not know that I'm their stepfather yet, but I know it and that means I have to act like it."

"So, with a baby on the way, I imagine you're not going to be keeping it a secret from them much longer."

"No, Amanda and I are just trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. I would appreciate it if you would keep this to yourself for a little while until we have a chance to figure it out."

"I've kept your marriage a secret for four months, haven't I? You can trust me to keep this one too. Just keep in mind, a pregnancy is not something you're going to be able to hide for long."

"I don't plan on letting it stay hidden for long. Listen, I should get going before it gets too late."

"Before you go, you should know that Jamie's temperature is back to normal. A nurse came in and took his vitals about an hour ago and things are looking up."

"Good. Thanks, Joe, " Lee said turning to leave before he was stopped by Joe's voice again.

"Hey," Joe said

"Yeah?"Lee said turning back again.

"Thanks for looking after my family."

"They're my family now too," Lee said before making his way out the door to go see how his other stepson was doing. On his way out, he stopped at the phone again to call the office, hoping Billy would still be there working late as he often was on Mondays playing catch-up from the weekend. "Hey, Billy."

"Lee, what's going on? I was just on my way out the door."

"Well, I'm glad I caught you then. Something's come up. I think you're going to need to get someone else on this undercover assignment or just let Francine and Beaman handle it alone."

"You and Amanda still fighting? Is that why you want off this assignment because you two still have another full day off that you could work it out."

"No, that's not it, Billy," Lee said unsure how much he should tell his section chief. He didn't want to tell him about their marriage or their baby without Amanda. "We're sorting things out on that front."

"Good," Billy said with a smile. "I had a feeling you would. I knew in pairing the two of you up, there would be occasional friction because you're both very spirited people and you're both too damn stubborn for your own good, but I also know that the two of you are the most efficient team I've got."

"Thanks for that, Billy."

"So, what's going on? You're going to have to give me a damn good reason to get out of this one. Dr. Smyth is insisting on having two teams go in since there are over sixty couples registered for this thing and we don't really know how many of them are involved with this weapons deal and how many are just there for the retreat. And those orders are coming straight from the White House. They don't want to take the chance that the impact of the president's brilliant speech will be undone by a bunch of radicals."

"Billy, Amanda's in the hospital."

"Is she ok? What's wrong with her?"

"Severe fatigue and malnutrition mostly. She hasn't eaten a decent meal since lunch yesterday and since we were working all weekend combined with looking after sick kids since last night, I don't think she's had more than six hours of sleep in the last three days."

"Those are things that are easily corrected with some rest and proper nutrition. She should be just fine in time for you to start your assignment."

"But Billy, she's..." Lee hesitated. _No, _he said to himself. He couldn't tell him about Amanda's pregnancy without her being involved in that conversation because that would bring up the whole subject of their hidden marriage. "...she's so weak right now."

"Well, what do the doctors say?"

"They say she should be fine once she gets some sleep and some nutrients in her and they'll probably let her go home tomorrow, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about her. You said at this retreat, they put people to the test. What if that stuff is too much for her with what she's just been going through?"

"I get that you're worried, Lee, and not just as her partner, but if the doctors say she's going to be fine, I can't justify pulling you off this assignment. We've already got the two of you registered for the retreat and it's too late to get a replacement team. Look, Amanda's smart. I'm sure she'd tell me if this assignment were going to be too much for her to handle."

"Billy, have you met Amanda?"

Billy couldn't help but chuckle. "Look, all I know is that this is already set. Having Amanda there on a couple's retreat will help a lot. She sees things that other agents don't when it comes to how people interact with each other. She may be the first to spot something not right with the couples that are going to be at this thing."

"You're right about that," Lee said recalling the case they'd worked pretending to be an engaged couple on that marriage cruise and how easily she'd picked out which couples had secrets.

"Just keep me posted once you get there and if you see that it's too much for her, we'll get her out of there and think of something else."

"But, Billy, she's..." Lee stopped himself again.

"She's what, Lee? Is there something else going on that I don't know about?"

Lee was silent for a long moment debating on whether or not he should tell his friend the whole truth. He knew if he did, that Billy wouldn't allow Amanda on this assignment and he could feel secure that his wife and unborn child would be safe, but he wasn't sure how secure his marriage would be if he dropped that bomb without talking to Amanda first, especially since she'd just arranged for Joe to take the boys so they could work this assignment. He sighed. "No, there isn't," he said feeling horribly guilty for telling yet another lie.

"Good, then I'll expect you to check in at the retreat as planned Wednesday afternoon. Think about it this way, this cover as a married couple could be a good opportunity for you and Amanda to get some practice for the real thing," he said with a grin knowing that Lee had been thinking about marrying Amanda for some time now. His first thought when he'd seen the way they were fighting was that he'd finally gotten up the courage to propose and she'd turned him down. Then he'd changed his opinion when he'd seen Amanda pull the chain from her neck. He hadn't seen clearly what it was, but he could have sworn that he saw the sparkle of a diamond ring, making him wonder if they weren't already engaged and that Amanda was dragging her feet on making it public. He knew she'd been hurt by her divorce and was probably a little gun-shy about getting married again. "Right?"

"Maybe," he said as he hung up the phone. Billy's statement led to another idea. Since they were going to be a married couple at the retreat, maybe that would be a good test run for being publicly married.

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As Lee pulled into the driveway on Maplewood drive, he noticed that the lights in the den and the kitchen were still on. He walked in through the French doors to find his mother-in-law asleep on the couch and open book lying across her chest her reading glasses cockeyed on her face. He hated to wake her because he knew she had to be worn out from the day's events, but he also felt she would be more comfortable in her own bed. He bent and gently extracted the book from her hand causing her to stir.

Dotty opened her eyes to see Lee standing over her. "Hi, Lee," she said as she sat up and removed her glasses.

"Hi," he said as he set her book on the coffee table behind him. "You should go on up to bed. You'll wake up stiff as a board if you sleep on this couch."

"I will, but I think we should have a talk first. Have a seat," she said indicating the empty spot on the couch where she'd just been stretched out.

"Dotty, we can talk another time. You need to get some rest."

"You're not getting out of this that easily, Lee. You and I need to have a serious talk about your future with Amanda. Now, sit!"

Lee sighed and complied. What was it about the West women that could intimidate him more than any terrorist? "Look, Dotty, I know that Amanda's pregnancy came as a surprise to you. It came as a surprise to me too, but not an unpleasant one."

"That's the thing, Lee. It didn't come as a surprise to me at all. I've suspected it for a couple of weeks now."

"A couple of weeks?" He questioned. "It's only been a month."

"That just shows how little you know about pregnancy. Some signs, like fatigue can manifest within a week of conception. I've noticed Amanda's been seeming more tired lately, that combined with the fact that the she hasn't depleted any of her supply of tampons in at least six weeks tells me that she hasn't had a period this month. Then when you told me she got sick today, that pretty much confirmed it for me even before you took her to the hospital."

"Huh," Lee said with a shake of his head. He could definitely see that Amanda's observant nature came from her mother.

"What did surprise me is that Amanda let thing happen again. I thought she'd have learned her lesson the first time around. Did you know that she was already expecting Phillip when she married Joe?"

"Yeah, I did. Listen, Dotty, I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I have every intention of living up to my responsibility both to Amanda and to our unborn child."

"I have absolutely no doubt that that's your intention, but you may have trouble convincing my stubborn daughter of that. I mean, Joe took off before Jamie was even two months old and Phillip wasn't quite three. She'd never admit it because she tried to be a supportive wife, but it broke her heart that first time he left. She and Joe may not have divorced for another six and half years, but that was really the end of her marriage. While she pretended she was ok with it, I don't think she ever forgave Joe for leaving her alone with two babies and not living up to his obligation to his family."

"I know," he said.

"That's where you need to be completely unrelenting in this. It's absolutely imperative that you convince her that you're not going to do the same thing. You have to get her to trust you."

"Believe me, I've been working on it. That's what prompted our fight yesterday. I've been getting really frustrated by this whole situation. Not being able to see her when I want to, going home to an empty, lonely apartment when I'd rather be coming home to her. I have to admit I'm the one who started the fight yesterday and I made a bit of an ass of myself, but I couldn't get her to have a real conversation about it so that I could tell her how I've been feeling."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"Dotty said with a shake of her head. "Well, if anyone can persuade my daughter to move forward, it's you."

"Maybe you and I should work on her together," he suggested. Even though he'd desperately tried to convince his wife that now that they knew they have a baby on the way, they should just stop their charade, he still wasn't sure that she would cooperate. "I could sure use an ally in this."

"I don't know that it'll do any good, but I'll give it my best shot."

"Good. Now, that that's settled, you should get some sleep. Do you mind if I look in on Phillip before I go?"

"Of course not, Lee. Now, that I think about it though, you should stay here tonight rather than driving back to the city. You look exhausted."

"I don't think that's a good idea. What kind of impression would that make on Phillip to have me here when he wakes up."

"That'll be something he'll have to get used to if you end up getting your way with his mother. I won't take no for an answer, Lee. I still have your car keys, remember?"

Lee chuckled at the determined look on her face. "I wasn't really prepared to spend the night here. I don't have a change of clothes or anything," he said with a gesture to the rumpled suit he was wearing.

"Now, I know that's not true. Amanda told me once that you always keep an overnight bag in your car for those times that you get sent out of town for a film project at a moment's notice."

"Ok, yes, but you'd have to relinquish my car keys for me to go get it," he said holding his hand out.

"Uh-uh. I'm not going to give you the chance to bolt. You won't do Amanda any good if you fall asleep at the wheel and get in a wreck. You go check on Phillip and _I'll_ go get your bag."

Lee sighed and resigned himself to the fact that his mother-in-law was just as stubborn as his wife. "Ok, fine, you win."

Lee went upstairs to the room the boys shared and found Philip sleeping peacefully. He gingerly knelt beside his bed, not wanting to wake him, placing his hand to his stepsons forehead to make sure that he wasn't running a fever. He knelt there listening to the sound of his breathing for a few minutes. Satisfied that his older stepson was on the mend, he made his way out of the room quietly closing the door behind him and was about to descend the stairs when Dotty voice stopped him from the other end of the hall.

"I put your bag in Amanda's room."

"Oh, well, um," He said awkwardly. "I...uh.. thought I'd just sleep downstairs on the couch."

"Lee, what did you just say to me downstairs? That I should sleep up here or I'd wake up stiff as a board if I slept on the couch. The same goes for you. You'll be much more comfortable sleeping in Amanda's room since she's not going to be using it. Besides," She said with a grin, "Given the fact that she's carrying your child, it's not as if you haven't slept in her bed before."

Lee blushed slightly and said. "You make a good point."

"Good-night, Lee," she said as she walked into her room leaving him no choice but to go to Amanda's He shook his head and thought how much more interesting his would be once he became a permanent part of this family.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Smut alert ahead, I should give you all fair warning, this chapter does absolutely nothing to advance the plot of this story. It's just Lee's memories of the past and thoughts for the future.

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Lee stepped into Amanda's room and noticed that the bedding was still rumpled from when Amanda was lying down. He knew that was a sure sign she hadn't been feeling well. She always straightened the bed as soon as she got out of it. Even the nights she'd spent at his place, she'd done the same thing. It was part of her routine. He removed his bag from where Dotty had laid it on the bed and tossed it onto the floor before stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed. As he laid his head on Amanda's pillow, the scent of her invaded his nostrils. He recalled what he'd said during their fight about how hard it was sleeping on sheets that still smelled like her. This time he didn't mind though. He wanted to be reminded of her right now. These were the same sheets they'd made love on less than twenty-four hours ago. It may have been less than a day, but with all that had happened, it felt like a lifetime, between climbing down the trellis and barreling out to his car, to waiting anxiously for her to show up at the office and the ensuing argument, wandering the aisles of the grocery store looking for the right items to bring home for this kids.

_Home, _he thought. It wasn't his home, but it sure felt more like home than any other place he'd ever been, a hell of a lot more than the emptiness of his own place. He needed Amanda to fill that emptiness, not just in his home, but in his life. If he could get through to Amanda and persuade her that they needed to live together like a normal husband and wife, he knew this house wouldn't be able to be home for long. It was too small for their growing family, especially now that the boys were getting older. Phillip was already a teenager and Jamie soon would be. The time was coming when they would each need their own space. And then there was the baby. All three bedrooms in this house were occupied, so where were they going to put the baby? No, they'd have to start talking about shopping for a bigger place before the baby came.

The baby. They were going to have a baby. It hadn't really had time to fully sink in yet. It was completely unplanned, but no less of a miracle. He got to thinking about the day the baby had been conceived. Amanda had been so angry with him over that stupid list and he had done everything he could to make it up to her. He drifted off to sleep with those memories in his head.

_Lee walked into his apartment, legal pad behind his back in one hand, keys in the other. He'd started to walk past the entry table, then thought about one of the little stupid things that has started the fight to begin with, glanced at the table and tossed the keys there._

_"Hi," he said to his wife who was sitting in the armchair opposite the couch. When she didn't even look up, he continued. "Uh, I just saw Harry. He has been discharged from the hospital. He is looking great," he said awkwardly. She looked up, nodded curtly then looked back down again. _oh, yeah, she's still pissed, _he thought. "What are you doing?"He asked._

_"I'm writing you a note," Amanda replied without looking up._

_"Uh, Amanda, I realize that making that list was a very stupid thing to do. I mean, everybody does sill little things that bothers the other person."_

_Finally she looked up and made eye contact. "Do you have flowers behind your back?"_

_"No," he said with a slight smile that at least she realized he was trying to make up. He pulled the tablet from behind her back and approached her now that he felt it was safe. _

_Amanda forcefully capped the pen she'd been writing with, looked up at him and sarcastically said, "More complaints?"_

_"No, It's a list of all the things I love about you," he said as he knelt down in front of her. _

_"Aw," she said and finally rewarded him with the smile that he loved. He started to lean in to kiss her reaching to put his arms around her, but was stopped by her hand on his chin. "Better be a loooong list," she said with a grin. When he smiled back at her, she then used the hand on his chin to pull him in for a lingering kiss bringing her hands up to stroke his face. _

_When their kiss ended they just smile at each other for a moment. "Let me recite some of this for you," he said. _

_"I'm listening," she said. _

_"Well, first and foremost, I love that you love me, flaws and all, even when I do stupid things."_

_"That is not number one on your list," she teased. "You're just trying to butter me up."_

_"No, it is. See?" he said as he pointed to the list._

_"What else is on that list?" she said as she tried to grab it from him. He pulled it away from her._

_"Uh-uh, No, I'm going to read it to you." he said as she tried to grab it from him again._

_"Let me see it!"she said as she made another grab for it propelling them both onto the floor her landing squarely on top of him causing them to both burst out laughing._

_"Forget the list," he said tossing it aside and wrapping his arms around her. "I'll just tell you what I love about you." He reached for the clip holding her hair up. "I love your thick, dark hair," he said as he released the clip letting her hair fall to her shoulders. He tossed the hair clip aside. "Especially when it's down and you have all these wild curls framing your beautiful face," He softly stroked her face as he said this. "Which brings us to the next thing on the list. Your face. I love you face, everything about it from your cute little nose to your warm brown eyes, to the smile you smile when I walk in the room. That special smile that you reserve just for me. Your soft lips, the way I can't get enough of kissing them," he said as he pulled her head down to his and captured her lips in a more passionate kiss that the one before. During this kiss, he felt his wife's hands loosening his tie. "I love how you straighten my tie for me when it's crooked," he said with a grin._

_She laughed as she got his tie loose and held it up for him to see. "Like this?"she said as she tossed the tie aside._

_"Yeah, just like that," he said with a laugh. "I love how soft your skin feels," he continued as he slipped his hands beneath her shirt running then up and down her bare back beneath it before lifting it over her head and tossing it away._

_"I love the feel of your strong hands when they touch my skin," Amanda said getting into the act, all traces of her anger gone as she began working on the buttons on his shirt._

_"I love how you like to undo the buttons on my shirt one at a time and kiss me on the spots you uncover," he said as she was doing just that. "I love the way your warm lips feel on my skin."_

_"I love the hard muscles you keep so well hidden beneath your suit and tie," she said as she went back to her task. When she got to the last button, she yanked the tails of his shirt from his pants._

_Lee pulled her to him again only this time not for her lips, "I love this little beauty mark on your neck" he said as brought it down to his lips and gently began to suckle the tender skin beneath it making her gasp. _

_"I love how you know the right places to kiss me," Amanda said just before he flipped her over onto her back._

_"I love the way you feel beneath me," he said once again kissing her soundly._

_When he released her lips, Amanda was too breathless for coherent thought. "bedroom..."she gasped out "...now."_

_Lee smiled as he stood shrugged out of his jacket and shirt and in one swift move, scooped her into his arms walking with her to the bedroom unfastening her bra along the way, dropping it in the hall. When they reached the bedroom, Lee stepped out of his dress shoes while Amanda kicked off her flats. He sat her on the bed and reached for the button on her slacks then the zipper before sliding them down her legs revealing the black lacy panties beneath them. "I love how you dress so conservatively in public and save the sexy stuff for my eyes only," he said as he bent to kiss the scrap of lace that was the only thing left covering her. Amanda laid back on the bed inviting him to do more. He slid the panties off of her then resumed his position. "I love the way you taste," he said flicking his tongue against her center._

_"Lee," she cried out. "Oh, I love how good you are with your tongue .ohhhh" when he dipped his tongue inside her she was lost and couldn't form another word as her breathing became ragged. She held his head there running her fingers through his hair while he slid his hands under her hips bringing them up to meet his mouth as he continued his onslaught until he heard her crying out her release and felt her shuddering beneath him. _

_He raised his head finally to look at her and said, "I love the way you call out my name when you climax," he said softly._

_When her breathing had slowed enough to speak, she turned herself around on the bed so that she was lying on the side she normally slept on. "Get in here," she said._

_He stripped out of his pants and boxers before crawling into bed with her. He had only laid down a second when she was on him, trailing kisses from his neck to his collarbone, his chest, his stomach, his hip, then with nor warning took him in her mouths. "Oh, God, Amanda," He cried out as she began to suckle him. "I love the way to do that." He was about to lose himself in her mouth and he wasn't ready for this moment to be over. "No, no more, Amanda,." He said stopping her. When she looked up at him a curious look on her face. "It's great, but I need to be inside you." He flipped her over again like he had in the living room, driving himself into her before she could protest. "I love being inside you," he said._

_"I love feeling you inside me," she replied as she spread her legs wider to opens herself up more for him. _

_Lee kissed her fiercely as he moved within her. He release her lips and once again lifted her hips to allow him deeper penetration continually driving into her. He looked into her eyes. "I love making love to you," he said. _

_"Oh, Lee," he cried out. "I love the way you make me feel." She cried out his name again as another climax hit her._

_"Oh, yes, Amanda, I love feeling you tighten around me," he said as his own climax began and he kept moving inside his wife clinging to her, kissing her again and again until had completely emptied himself within her and collapsed on top of her. _

_Amanda wrapped her arms around his neck and cradled his head against her shoulder, running her fingers through his hair and kissing his face. "Boy when you want to butte me up, you really want to butter me up," she said._

_He laughed heartily as he rolled over pulling her with him to his side of what he now considered to be their bed."The question is, did it work?" he teased._

_"I don't know yet," She said as she drew lazy circles on his chest with her finger. "Tell me more of the things you love about me."_

_"You need more?"_

_"Mm-hmm, you came up with six pages of things you didn't like about me. I don't think we've come close to matching that yet," she said with a wicked glint in her eyes."_

_The look in her eyes told him that while she was no longer mad, she wasn't quite ready to let him entirely off the hook yet. "Ok, how's this? I love that you don't put up with my bullshit, I love that you call me out on it."_

_"That's a good start, but keep 'em coming."_

_"I love your strength. You've been through so much crap in your life, but you still fight. I love that you fight. It's the strength and that fight that kept me from losing you on our honeymoon. It's what brought you back to me." He traced the scar on her chest with his finger. "I love this scar and how it reminds me every time that I see it how close I came to losing you and makes me love you and appreciate you even more. I love how you always look for the silver lining even when we're staring down death together. I love your passion. I love how you love life. I love how you're fiercely protective of everyone around you. That's what makes you a good agent. I love how you love Phillip and Jamie, how you go out of your way to be the best mother you can be. I love how you love a cheery kitchen. I love how you make a poppy seed cake."_

_"Ok, I think that's enough," she said as she softly kissed him._

_"Are you sure, 'cause I've got a lot more."_

_"Yeah, I'm sure. You've buttered me up enough._

_"Just one more then. I love that you were so patient with me waiting for me to be ready for you. I think we both know by now that we had feelings for each other long before we ever admitted to ourselves, let alone to each other. I love that you waited so patiently for me to say I love you first."_

_"I had to. There were so many times when I'd catch you looking at me with that expression of pure love in your eyes, but as soon as you caught me catching you it was gone. I knew from that that if I said it first and you weren't ready to say it back, that we'd be right back where we started."_

_"When you're talking about love you have to be patient. You said those words to me once."_

_"I remember. I was talking about poor Agnes and her heartbreak, but I was also talking about myself waiting for you. I knew even then that I was in love with you and you with me, but you still weren't ready then. I was hoping by saying those words out loud, it might give you some kind of clue." _

_"It did."_

_"Then why did it take you another three months to really kiss me and ten months to tell me how you felt?"_

_"Fear, mostly. Fear that you'd tell me to go to hell. But you know something, you were the only woman I was seeing at that time."_

_"I know that. I knew that from the night you broke your date with Leslie to take me out about a month before that. That's why I couldn't understand it. You had made a decision to only date me which was a pretty big commitment for you and yet you were still afraid to let the words out. You should have been smart enough to know that I wouldn't tell you to go to hell. If that was what I was thinking, I wouldn't have kept going out with you." _

_"Well, I know that now and I'm not afraid anymore. I'll demonstrate. I love you, Amanda Stetson," he said with a kiss to her lips._

_"mm," Amanda said contentedly. "Say it again."_

_"I love you," he repeated with another kiss. _

_"No, the other part," she said._

_"Amanda Stetson." He kissed her again. "I love you, Mrs. Stetson."_

_"I love hearing that and I don't get to hear it often enough."_

_"Mrs Stetson," he said one more time before locking his lips to hers. As she kissed him back ferociously, pressing her body against his, he felt himself growing hard again. He couldn't explain it, but no other woman had ever produced that level of desire in him. All it took was a simple kiss from her and he couldn't wait to have her again. He could never get enough of her. It didn't take her long to notice what her kisses had done to him. He was delighted when she took full advantage of it pushing herself against his erection until he was inside her again. She shifted her legs so that he had one knee on each die of him to use for leverage moving back and forth slowly leaning forward to kiss him while she took him in and out of her over and over again. until he felt himself spilling into her again._

Lee awoke with a start, the memories still washing over him. He recalled that they had napped for about an hour after their second round then had risen to shower and that's where round three had happened. After showering they had only put on their robes knowing it wouldn't be long before they were in bed for the night. Lee then went to fix them some dinner, while Amanda picked up the apartment, gathering up their scattered clothing and putting it away, the notepad and pen she'd dropped when knocking him to the floor and the legal pad containing his list. He remembered vividly that he'd walked into the living room to tell her that dinner was ready found her reading the list with tears streaming down her face. He had then knelt down in front of the armchair much like he had earlier and wiped the tears away. She gave him a loving smile as he leaned to kiss the rest of her tears away. That began round four in which they didn't make it to the bedroom and their dinner got cold.

_They lay on the living room floor wrapped up in each other. "You know, thanks to you, I'm gonna have some serious rug burn on my ass," Lee said with a chuckle._

_"You're blaming me for that?"Amanda said in mock horror._

_"Well, you did tackle me," he said with a chuckle._

_"Well, if you don't stop being so sweet, I'm not going to be able to walk straight for a week," she countered._

_"Is that another complaint, Mrs. Stetson?"_

_"No, Mr. Stetson, that is another thing I love about you."_

_"You know, I think this is most we've ever made love in one day before."_

_"That's not really true, if you count our wedding night and the following morning since it was within a twenty-four hour period.'_

_"Right," he said. "Twice that night and twice in the morning. So, we tied our wedding night."_

_"Wanna set a new record," she said in a sultry voice._

_"Well, I don't know. I wouldn't want to keep you from walking straight," He teased. _

_"I was just thinking since we didn't have a real honeymoon, maybe now would be the time to make up for it."_

_"We really should eat, you know, to keep our strength up," he replied with smile._

Lee rolled over in bed and glanced at the clock. 6AM. He didn't realize he'd slept so long. He needed to get up if he was going to get back to the hospital to see his wife and stepson and check on their progress. He hauled himself out of bed, picked up the wrinkled suit from the day before, grabbing a hanger from Amanda's closet to hang it on and hung it on the door handle of the closet. He knew Amanda would hate it if he left her bedroom a mess. He then made the bed before rummaging through his overnight bag to find a change of clothes. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and laid them on the bed before jumping in the shower.

As he showered, he recalled how the rest of that evening had gone. They had indeed set a new record. After he'd reheated their dinner they talked about the case they had just wrapped up and Lee had told her how Harry and Christina wanted them to have dinner with them sometime and he told Amanda how Billy had dropped more hints in his office about them getting married and had make jokes about how big a heart attack the poor man would have it he'd found out they were already married with all the not-so-subtle hints he'd been giving Lee about it. After the dinner dishes had been washed, dried and put away at Amanda's insistence, they had cuddled together on the couch watching some mindless show about two divorced women sharing an apartment with their kids. He didn't remember much of the details of it, just that he had his wife in his arms. They'd gone to bed for the night after the show was over and had slowly made love one more time this time lying on their sides facing each other sharing long slow kisses and whispering words of love to one another until they both fell into and exhausted sleep.

Lee finished his shower, dried his hair and dressed quickly before returning to the bathroom to blow-dry his hair. He chuckled a little as he recalled that Amanda was bugged by him singing while drying his hair. Thinking back to the events of the day they'd made up from that fight that had been caused by little things like that, he couldn't help but wonder which time was the magic one in which they had created their baby. Was it the first one? the second? The shower? The living room floor? Or was it the last one? He knew he'd never know, but still couldn't help but wonder.

Lee finished drying his hair and walked back to the bedroom to retrieve his watch where he'd tossed it on the nightstand the night before wondering what he was going to say to Amanda to stress to her the importance of letting everyone in on their secret. As he thought this, the words of the song his co-workers taunted him with popped into his head. _I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize, Amanda _Boy, did that fit how he felt right now. _I'm gonna tell you right away, I can't wait another day, Amanda. _That part was definitely true. He didn't want to wait another day. He'd heard the song before and had always felt that it perfectly fit how he felt when he first told Amanda he loved her and that was what the song was really about but today he found new meaning in the lyrics of the chorus. _I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand, Amanda. _ That was the key right there, saying it like a man and making her understand. He hoped that would be enough.


	9. Chapter 9

Francine flew into Billy's early the next morning without knocking. "Billy, I need to talk to you!"

"What is it, Francine," He said in irritation. "I was here late last night and I haven't even had my morning coffee yet. Please don't tell me you want out of this assignment too."

"What, no. Why, who else wants out of this assignment. Did Efraim say something to you because I was giving him a hard time?"

"No, Lee called me last night and asked if I could find a replacement for him and Amanda."

"Well, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. Lee and Amanda and that explosion that went on here yesterday. How are they going to continue to work together after that."

"The way Lee talked last night, they were working out their personal differences which I had no doubt they would."

"Yeah, they certainly seemed to be when I went by Amanda's last night. He was even helping her with the kids."

"That's good," Billy said with a smile. If he was helping her with the kids maybe that meant he and Amanda were finally getting closer to marriage.

"Yes, but for how long? They both have very volatile tempers and you know Lee's track record when it comes to relationships."

"Francine, I don't believe it's fair to judge Lee on his past. In case you haven't noticed, Lee hasn't been out with anyone but Amanda in almost two years. I'd say that means he's taking their relationship seriously."

"Sir, I'm worried about Amanda. When I was at the house last night, she looked so run-down, I thought she was going to collapse right there on the spot. Even if Lee is serious about her, I don't think this thing is very healthy for her. I think the stress is really getting to her."

"Did you tell her how you felt?" Billy asked.

"Yeah, I tried, right before she threw me out," she snorted.

"I think that's your problem, Francine. Ever since you learned that they'd started seeing each other, You've been giving Amanda your opinions. Did you ever try asking her opinion instead?" When Francine was silent, he said. "Look, if you're really that worried about her, why don't you go visit her in the hospital?"

"Amanda's in the hospital too? I knew she said they needed to take her son there..."

"That's why Lee wanted off the assignment. They admitted Amanda too. He said something about fatigue and malnutrition, but that she should be released today."

"Maybe I will go see her," she said as she started toward the door.

"Francine, remember what I said," Billy said in a warning tone as Francine sailed out the door.

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Lee descended the stairs and entered the kitchen to find Phillip sitting at the breakfast table and Dotty at the stove. "Good morning. Is there coffee?" He asked.

"Good morning, Lee. Help yourself," Dotty said as she busily flipped pancakes.

When Lee had finished fixing his coffee, he joined his stepson at the table. "How you feeling, Champ?"

"A whole lot better," Phillip said happily. I haven't thrown up since right before Grandma had me come downstairs and lay down on the couch yesterday."

"Good, You got off a lot easier than your little brother."

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah, when I left the hospital last night, your dad said the nurse told him his temperature was back to normal so we should be able to bring him home today."

"Dad was there?"

Lee couldn't help but notice the change in Phillip's facial expression when mentioning his dad. "Yeah, Phillip, he was. He came to make sure Jamie was ok after your Grandma called him. He was still there when I left. Speaking of which he's going to pick you guys up tonight to finish your visit with him."

"How'd you talk him into that?"Phillip said sarcastically.

"I didn't. Your mom did.

"How is Mom?"

"Your mom is just A-OK. She really just needed some food and sleep more than anything else. They put her on an IV to make sure she gets what she needs. We'll go see her in a little bit."

"Good," Phillip said.

"Here you go," Dotty said as she walked to the table with two plates of pancakes and set them in front of Phillip and Lee.

"Dotty, this isn't necessary. I'm not really a breakfast eater," Lee said.

"Nonsense," Dotty said. "You need to eat. When was the last time you ate something?" Lee thought for a minute and when he didn't come up with an immediate response, she said, "That's what I thought. Eat!"

"But-"

"Lee, if you're going to becoming a member of this family, you're going to have to understand that nobody in this house is allowed to skip breakfast." She hustled back to the workstation and returned with a plate for herself.

"What did you mean about Lee becoming a member of this family?"Phillip said, but before his grandmother could answer, the then turned to Lee and asked, "Are you gonna marry Mom and become my stepdad?"

Lee couldn't have asked for a better opportunity to test the waters with Phillip. Sure, he'd said last night that he wished he was his dad, but he was also sick at the time and grateful that he'd been looking after him. His outburst could have just come from that. "How would you feel if I was your stepdad?" he asked he said taking a bite of the pancakes in front of him while waiting for his stepson's response.

"That's a stupid question. I told you last night I wished you were my dad."

"I know you did and as nice as the thought is, I can't be your dad. You already have a dad."

"If you can call him that."

"I think maybe you should give him another chance. When your mom and I talked to him last night, he said that the reason he brought you guys home is because he was scared that he wouldn't be able to care for your brother properly and he knew your mom would. He didn't know what to do because he's never been around when you've been sick."

"If he'd ever been around, he'd know what to do too," Phillip said heatedly.

"I know, but he's trying. How about you give him another chance and I'll settle for being your stepdad, ok?"

"Does that mean you and mom_ are_ getting married?"

"Just hold your horses, Phillip. Your mom and I are still talking about things."

"But did you ask her to marry you?"

"Yeah, I did," Lee said. He didn't feel it would hurt anything to tell him that he'd proposed. He'd have to know that eventually once they dropped the marriage bomb.

Phillip's face fell. "She said no, didn't she?"

"What makes you think that?"Lee asked him taking another bite of his pancakes. He realized the more he ate of them, the more he wanted. He hadn't eaten since lunch time and that was before Amanda has arrived at the office.

"She said no to Dean and he was crazy about her."

"Yes, he was, Phillip, "Dotty said. "But she wasn't in love with him. She _is_ in love with Lee."

"Then I don't get it," Phillip said. "If you asked her to marry you, what do you and mom still have to talk about?"

"It's complicated, Phillip," Lee said with a sigh.

"If you love her and she loves you, why is it complicated? Don't people who love each other want to get married?"

"Yeah, and I would like nothing more than to be your mom's husband, but it's complicated because there are things that you don't know about your mom and me. Private things that your mom and I have to work out together."

"But if you don't work it out, does that mean you're going to go away like my dad did and like Dean did?" Phillip asked worriedly.

"No, Phillip, I promise you, I am not going anywhere. I'm gonna be a part of your life for a long, long time. Now, finish your breakfast so we can get to the hospital, ok?"

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Francine walked into Amana's hospital room with a basket of flowers and saw Amanda sitting up in bed, "Hi," she said hesitantly as she set the basket down on the table next to Amanda's hospital bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Francine," Amanda said icily. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to see how you were feeling. Billy told me you were here, Lee called him last night. So, what are _you _doing here?"

"That should be obvious, Francine. You saw first-hand how sick I was last night."

"No, I didn't mean that," Francine said as she pulled up a chair and sat down. "I meant _here. _I about had a stroke when I stopped at the information desk and they told me you were in OB/GYN."

"They shouldn't have told you that. Medical information is only supposed to be given to family members."

"They didn't tell me why you were here, just where you were. So, why _are_ you here?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business, Francine," Amanda said unconsciously placing her hand over her abdomen as if trying to shield her unborn baby from Francine's venom.

Francine caught the significance of Amanda's motion immediately, confirming what she had already suspected. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Amanda sighed again and thought about how to answer. She knew if she said yes, she'd get yet another lecture from Francine on how worthless Lee was, but there was really no point to saying no because it would be obvious in a couple of months anyway. "Yeah," Amanda said. "I just found out last night when Lee brought me here.

"Does Lee know?"Francine asked quietly.

"Yes, he does, Francine. I told him right away. He has a right to know that he's going to be a father."

"Oh, Amanda," Francine said sympathetically.

"Francine, stop it! Just stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop with the pity looks and the sympathetic tone. None of it is necessary. Lee's on cloud nine about being a dad."

"He is?"Francine said in surprise.

"Gee, Francine, do you think you could say that with a little less shock in your voice," Lee said as he entered the room an overnight bag slung over his shoulder and a carryout bag in his hand.

"Hi," Amanda said with a bright smile at seeing her husband.

"Hi," Lee said setting the overnight bag on the floor and the carryout bag on the rolling tray table. He sat on the edge of the bed on the opposite side that Francine sat on. He leaned in and gave his wife a lingering kiss not caring that Francine was there. He lightly stroked Amanda's stomach and said, "How is everybody?"

"_We_ are fine," Amanda said placing her hand over her husband's where it rested on her stomach. "The doctor checked on me earlier and said I should be able to get out of here soon now that I'm stable."

"Good," Lee said with a smile as he lightly kissed her lips again.

"What's in the bags?" Amanda said eying the carryout bag.

"I brought you a change of clothes from the house for they let you out of here and this one," he said indicating the carryout bag, "Is because I know all too well how hospital food is, so I brought you a little breakfast from that place on N street that has that turkey and spinach omelet that you love so much."

"Oh, I love you!" Amanda said excitedly. Francine stared at Lee when Amanda said that wondering how he would react.

"You should probably eat it while it's still hot," he said as he pulled a Styrofoam container out of the bag and slid the tray table over the bed. He then dug in the bag for plastic utensils. Francine's stare turned into a glare when Lee skated right past Amanda's declaration of love.

Amanda opened the container and smiled. "And a side of hash browns with country gravy. You really know how to spoil a girl," she said as she dug into her breakfast.

"Well, I'm not about to let you starve yourself or our baby again," He teased.

"Now, let's be fair, Lee. I didn't know there was a baby until last night and I was trying to take care of my other two babies."

"I get that, Amanda. One of the many things that I love about you is how you always try to take care of everyone, but you have to stop and take care of yourself once in awhile." Francine's expression changed at Lee's statement. She looked from Lee to Amanda and back to Lee again.

"Lesson learned, I promise," She said. "Speaking of the boys, how are they?"

"Phillip's doing a lot better. He was able to actually eat a solid breakfast today. I haven't checked on Jamie yet. Phillip and your mom are upstairs with him now. I figured I'd head up there after I brought you your breakfast, which I should do now, then I'll come back down here to check on you."

"Ok," She said.

"I love you," Lee said as he stood and leaned across the table to kiss her one more time. Francine snorted and rolled her eyes. "Francine, could I see you for a minute? Outside?"

"Uh, sure," Francine said.

As soon as they stepped into the hall, "Francine, I don't know what you're doing here and I don't care, but I want you to know that if you do anything while I'm gone to upset her, anything that could put her or my child at risk or if you go blabbing this all over The Agency before Amanda and I have fully had time to process it ourselves, there will be hell to pay. Are we clear?"

"Clear," she said. "I must say though, you're putting on quite a display, first wt work yesterday playing the heartbroken spurned lover, then last night making a big show of helping out with the kids. now today playing the over-protective father-to-be. So, what's really going on? Is Amanda such a great lay that you've got to keep leading her on like this?"

"This isn't about sex, ok? I'll admit, Amanda and I have an amazing sex life, better than I've ever experienced in my life and _you know_ I've had a lot of experience, but that's not what this is about. I love Amanda. _Really _love her. I think that's what makes it so amazing with her. I'm not leading her on, I'm not using her and I'm completely over the moon that the woman I love is carrying my child. As for the kids, I love them too. Phillip and Jamie are the most incredible kids I've ever been around and a lot of that has to do with having Amanda as their mother. I consider myself damn lucky that she's going to be the mother of my child as well," Lee said

"And the fight?"

"As for the fight, Yes, I was an ass for starting a fight at work, I acknowledge that, but a lot of that came from the fact that I want to spend my entire life with Amanda and I was tired of us sneaking around and hiding our relationship from the people around us. I want us to be a normal couple. I love her so much, that it tears me apart when we're not together.

"So, what are you going to do, marry her, move to Arlington and raise a houseful of rugrats?"

"Why not? That sounds like a pretty good life to me. I know I used to poke fun at it, but that was before I really got to know Amanda. She's changed the way I look at things. You can't imagine how much. You can think what you want of me, I don't care, but you will not say another negative word to Amanda. She's been through enough the past couple of days. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an eleven-year old to check on."

"Ok," Francine said stunned at Lee's outburst. Lee walked toward the elevator while Francine walked back into Amanda's room to find Amanda had finished her breakfast.

"Sounds like someone got an earful," Amanda said with a smirk as she shoved the empty Styrofoam container back into the carryout bag.

"You heard?"

"Every word. I was actually surprised to see you come back in here after that."

"Well, we never did get to finish our conversation."

"What do you think we need to talk about?"

Francine took a deep breath trying to remember what Billy told her about asking Amanda's opinion rather than providing her own and said, "Well, I just got Lee's thoughts on this whole thing. I was just curious how you're feeling about all this."

Amanda pushed the tray table out of the way and said, "I'm happy, Francine. A little freaked out, but mostly happy."

"What's got you freaked out?" When Amanda didn't answer Francine said, "Amanda, you can talk to me. I'll take anything you say with me to the grave, promise."

"It's just that Lee and I have a lot of stuff to work out if we're going to raise a child together."

"It's a big change," Francine said.

"Yeah, you could say that, but the baby's not even the biggest change," Amanda said as she fiddled with the chain around her neck that cradled her wedding set against her bosom.

"Is that the same chain you chucked at Lee yesterday?"

"Yeah," she said and realizing what she was doing, dropped her hands to her lap. She wondered if Francine had really meant what she said about taking things to her grave. She had wanted someone to talk to about how she was feeling besides Lee since they couldn't seem to agree on whether or not to reveal their marriage to the world.

"Gift from Lee?"Francine inquired.

"Yeah, well, sort of, The chain was already mine. What's on it is wasn't."

"What is it?"Francine asked.

"Not now, Francine." She took another deep breath and said. "Did you mean what you said? That I can talk to you and you won't say anything to anyone?"

"Of course," Francine said.

"Ok, what's bothering me is The Agency or rather our jobs at The Agency, how dangerous it can be, how many times we've seen over the years criminals or terrorists using someone's family members as a means to an end or to hurt people they're after. Lee has made a lot of enemies in his fourteen years with The Agency and I'm terrified that the closer he gets to the boys, the more likely it is that someone would try to hurt them to get to him. Now, that Lee and I are having a baby together, that terror has just increased about tenfold."

"Amanda, you're being silly. There are a ton of agents out there with kids that are just fine. They put alarm systems in their homes, and surveillance cameras and motion detectors in the yard."

"You sound like Lee," Amanda said.

"Well, he's right. Don't you trust him?"

"Yes, I do, but you don't."

"That's not entirely true, Amanda, I don't trust him in the romance department, but as agents go, I would trust him with my life. He's the best in the business. That's why he's made so many enemies and by the way, since you've been working with him over the past four years you've made more than your fair share of enemies yourself. Someone could just as easily try to hurt the kids because of you just as well as him."

"You do make a good point."

"Is this what that fight you two had was really about?"

"Francine, If I tell you what the fight was really all about, I need to know that you won't say a word to anyone. I mean it. This is something life-changing."

"What could be more life-changing that having a baby?"

"It's not that it's more life-changing that having a baby, but it's just as big. Amanda was quiet for a moment and finally decided that it was time to take a bigger chance. "The fight was only partially about keeping the kids safe. This is the other part," Amanda said as she pulled the chain from her neck and held out the rings for Francine to see.

"Are those what I think they are?" Francine said staring wide-eyed at her.

"Yes, Francine. Lee and I got married four months ago."


	10. Chapter 10

Francine stared at Amanda blankly, then stared at the rings Amanda held in her hand trying to reconcile what she was seeing and hearing with what she believed to be true about Lee Stetson. "Ok, one more time."

"Francine, I've said it like six times now. What part of this is so hard for you to understand? Lee and I are married. He's my husband, I'm his wife. That's why we were fighting. He was tired of us being married, yet living apart. He wanted to come clean about the whole thing and I was still too afraid. To be honest, even though he instigated the fight, it was really my fault because I refused to even talk to him about revealing our secret."

"Four months ago?"

"Yes," Amanda said getting impatient with Francine. She put the chain back around her neck and tucked the rings into her hospital gown.

"I'm sorry, Amanda, I'm just having trouble thinking of Lee Stetson as married man. I just can't believe it."

"Believe it, Francine. It's true."

"I think maybe your doctor needs to come back in here and check on you. I don't think you're quite recovered yet."

"Look, Francine, I know this is shock, but you told me I could trust you and I believed you. Now, I need you to trust me. Do you honestly think I would make up something like this? Think about what Lee said to you out there in the hall, that he wanted to spend his life with me and that it tears him apart when we're not together. It tears me apart too. Think about the fight yesterday, all the things we said to each other when we were arguing."

"Ok, yes, some of the pieces of your fight make more sense in that context, but still...Are you you're not just telling me what you want to be true? That this isn't some fantasy of yours, I mean, it's not that unreasonable, now that you're carrying his child."

"It's not a fantasy, Francine. It's a fact. Trust me, or better yet, look it up. You're going to be in Marion tomorrow for this case. Stop at the courthouse. Our marriage license is a matter of public record. February 13th."

"In Marion?"

"Yes, we were married by the Justice of the Peace there. We wanted to get married somewhere close enough that was within decent driving distance, but still far enough away that there wouldn't be an announcement in the local paper when we applied for our license."

"Ok, so say this is all true. Why are you telling me?"

"Part of it if because I really need someone to talk to. Since I started working at The Agency, a lot of my old friendships have gone by the wayside. Even if I still had those old friends, it's not likely that any of them would understand."

"Are you trying to say that you consider me a friend?"

"I don't know that I'd go that far just yet. We'll see how this goes first.?"

"I can accept that," Francine said. "I mean it's not like I've been openly friendly toward you when it comes to the subject of your romance with Lee."

"That's the other reason I'm telling you. I'm tired of the way you treat me like I'm just some dupe that Lee is using."

"I never thought of you as a dupe, just a woman in love seeing through rose-colored glasses."

"That's just as bad, Francine. You still treated me like I wasn't smart enough to see things for how they are. When you first realized that Lee and I were together back in January, I let you go on and on about Lee and his history with relationships because I knew that what you were saying about his wasn't true anymore, He and I were already engaged then. I knew that he was a different person than he used to be. Then when he told me that'd you'd accosted him and told him to leave me alone, that's when I devised the plan to let you believe that I'd broken up with him so you'd leave both of us alone. And we started being more cautious at the office so you wouldn't catch us in a clinch again. That eventually made things harder on us though because that was even less time that we were able to be openly affectionate with each other."

"Wow"

"That crack you made out in the hall about Lee marrying me and moving to Arlington. It really bugged me to hear you say that because that's exactly what Lee told me he wants to do. He wants to move in with me and the boys and be a full-time husband and father."

"Does your family know?"

"Not yet. Lee and I have been trying to figure out the best way to break the news to them or even if we should."

"Does Billy know?"Francine asked. That would make sense since he was so supportive of them being a couple.

"No. The only people who know are Joe, Colonel Clayton and Lee's friend Barney. but he's out in California and he doesn't know anyone we know. And now you."

"California? Your shooting!"Francine said. "That vacation that Lee was so anxious to get to after wrapping the Nick Grant case. That was your honeymoon, wasn't it?" That made a whole lot more sense. She'd seen them leave together, but then when Lee had called them the next day, he'd said that Amanda's mom had called him to tell him about the shooting.

"Well, it would have been if I hadn't been shot. We weren't even married a full day when the shooting happened. I feel like ever since our honeymoon was cut short, Lee and I have been doing nothing but trying to make up for lost time."

"Ok, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but with your history combined with Lee's, how did you know you could trust him enough to marry him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your ex pretty much bailed on you leaving you two kids to raise by yourself and Lee's history with lasting relationships has been pretty much non-existent. So how did you know? How are you so confident even now that he won't break your heart? I mean, your first marriage ended in divorce. What makes you think this one won't too?"

" Well, you never know one hundred percent, but I guess I just have faith. And I have faith because unlike everyone else in Lee's life, I saw what those shallow relationships he used to have were really all about."

"Oh, this I've got to hear," Francine said.

"I'm amazed that you can't see it, Francine, You've known him longer than me. Think about all the loss he's suffered in his life. Losing his parents when he was just a little boy, being shuffled all over the place by an uncle who treated him more like a duty than family, never being able to form lasting friendships because he always had to move wherever his uncle was stationed., Losing the first woman he ever really opened his heart to in Dorothy, Being betrayed by the second in Ava, Is it any wonder that he closed his heart off for so long? Every person he's ever cared for has left him or he's had to leave. He was terrified to trust in love again, so he threw himself into one hollow relationship after another with the wrong kind of women. He knew that the women he dated weren't they type looking for commitment so he wouldn't have to open his heart.

"Then he met you and everything changed. I noticed subtle changes in him from the first time he worked with you, but I still never thought he'd be the type to settle down."

"Francine, I think deep down that's what he really wanted all along, but having his heart broken so many times kept him from pursuing it. I realized right away that the macho facade was just to cover up his pain. It took so long to get him to figure that out. I knew that Lee was in love with me long before he even realized it."

"When was that?"Francine asked, her curiosity piqued.

"The first time I really saw it was about a month and a half after we met."

"You knew that early on?"

"Obviously, I didn't know that we'd eventually get married and be having a baby, but I knew that there was something there."

"How? What gave you that knowledge?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Billy's always talking about how intuitive you are. I just wanted to know how to come to the conclusions you do."

"The James Delano case," Amanda explained. "When he told me not to get involved with Delano, the way he acted when he did it is what gave me the biggest clue. He wasn't acting like an agent looking out for his partner, he acted like a jealous lover protecting his territory. I called him out on it too."

"You didn't?"

"Yes, I did," she said with a laugh. "It was a big mistake though because he wasn't ready to confront his feelings. After that, he became a little more reclusive around me, so I backed off a little to make him come to me again."

"So, all this time everyone thought you were just this wholesome housewife, You were really just like any other woman, playing hard to get to lure him in."

Amanda laughed. "It wasn't really either of those things. I wasn't intentionally playing hard to get and I wasn't trying to lure him, more like gently coax him out of his shell. I just knew that there had to be a reason that we felt as strongly about each other as we did so early. I knew that I wanted a chance to see if it would work between us, but Lee was too fragile to be pushed, He had to be gently pulled instead." Francine laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Just hearing Lee described as fragile. It's funny to me. In thinking about Lee Stetson, the last word I would use to describe him is fragile."

"I mean emotionally fragile, Francine. If I'd have pushed him too hard, he'd have been shattered and I'd never have been able to pick up the pieces. He really is a good man, Francine, and I have no doubt that he will be a good father. He already adores the boys and they're not even his. I can only imagine how he'll be with his own child."

"Are you going to tell him that you told me?"

"I have to, Francine. He's my husband. A husband and wife can't keep secrets from each other."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Lee said from the doorway with a grin.

"How long have you been standing there?"Amanda said.

"Long enough," Lee said as he entered the room. "Fragile? Really?"

"You know what I mean," Amanda said.

"Yeah, I get it," he said. "What I don't get is that you were all set to keep everyone in the dark forever, yet you told Francine of all people."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"Francine said feeling a little offended. "You know, I do work for a covert government agency which means I know how to keep a secret."

"You'd better."

"Listen, I should go and let you two talk. I'll see you guys tomorrow." She rose to leave, then paused for a moment. "I know it's four months too late, but congratulations," She said as she playfully slugged Lee in the shoulder before exiting.

"Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do," he teased as he sat down on the edge of her bed.

"OK, I know, I probably shouldn't have told her, but I've needed someone to talk to about this for a long time," Amanda explained.

"You could have talked to me," Lee said trying to keep his cool. "In fact, I recall begging you to talk to me about it or have you already forgotten us giving half The Agency a good show yesterday?"

"No, I haven't forgotten, but I needed someone to talk to who was outside of our situation and could look at it more objectively."

"Francine's not been known to be the most objective when it comes to me," he said concentrating very hard on keeping his temper in check

"Look, I know you're angry with me."

"Nope, not angry." he said to which she gave him her who-do-you=think=you're-talking-to look. "Ok, I'm a little angry. Why Francine?"

"Think of it as a test run. If Francine with the way she's thought of you can accept it, that's a good sign that everyone else around us can too. Besides, like I said, I needed someone else to talk to. You have your uncle and Barney, but on my side of things, there's just Joe and he's not been all that supportive."

"I think he's coming around. He and I had a talk before I left last night. Things are looking up there. Ok, so I get needing someone to talk to, but why not your mom?"

"Because she'd be too hurt that I kept this from her to be objective. That and she doesn't know about The Agency so she wouldn't really understand why we kept the secrets we did."

"Maybe we should tell her that too," Lee suggested. "Maybe that would help lessen the hurt if she understood that we had a real reason for keeping things quiet."

"I don't know that I'm ready to go that far. That lets her in on a secret that she may not want let in on and it could also put her in danger just by knowing, but I do want to tell her the rest. I just have to come up with a different reason for the secrecy. Something that she can understand."

"More lies?"Lee said shaking his head.

"Lee, don't," Amanda said as she reached for his hand. "I want her to know that you're my husband and that we haven't just been shacking up, especially now that we're having a baby. I don't want her thinking this is just history repeating itself."

"I'm glad you want to come clean with her. You don't know how close I came to just spilling my guts to her last night, but I didn't think I should without you, especially with how opposed you've been to this. I swear your mother could have a career teaching interrogation techniques at The Agency. She'd sure as hell give Beaman a run for his money in the training department." Amanda laughed at imagining her mother at The Agency.

"Amanda, Darling," Dotty said as she entered the room approaching her daughter's empty side and leaning in to kiss her before sitting in the chair Francine had just vacated. "How are you feeling, Sweetheart?"

"I feel fine, Mother. Great, actually. Ready to go home."

"And the baby? What did the doctor say about the baby?" Amanda's eyes widened as she glared at her husband who just shrugged with a don't-look-at-me expression on his face. Dotty took in the unspoken communication between them and said, "Now, don't you go blaming Lee. He didn't say a word. I figured out that that was what was going on with you before he ever brought you here. With as fatigued as you've been lately, I had my suspicions a couple of weeks ago."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"What would your reaction have been? You'd have just gotten defensive like you always do and would have changed the subject or you would have denied entirely that it was even a possibility. I don't understand you, Amanda, why you work so hard to keep so much of your life from me. Here, you have a wonderful man in your life you loves you with all his heart, who adores your children and wants to spend his life with you, yet you feel the need to keep it so secretive."

"I'm not being secretive. You know that I love Lee and that we've been in a serious relationship for a while now."

"Not being secretive, huh? Then why did I just find out this morning at breakfast that he'd asked you to marry him, but that you were dragging your feet?"

Amanda glanced at Lee with a questioning look. "Amanda, don't give me that look," Lee said. "I had to say something. Phillip was giving me the third degree this morning about when and if I was going to marry you."

"Does he know about the baby?"

"No, all I told him is that you and I are trying to work out where our future is headed, which is the truth. I just didn't give him all the details."

"Why do I get the sense that there's more going on here between you two than you're letting on?"Dotty said.

Amanda looked at him with an arched eyebrow and a slight nod of her head toward her mother."Your mother, you call," Lee said. "You already know my opinion."

Amanda took her mother's hands in hers and said, "You're right, Mother, there are things that Lee and I haven't told you, starting with how long we've been together. We started dating about a year before you ever met Lee."

"Longer than that," Lee said. "Remember the opera at the Kennedy? That was a month or so earlier."

"That doesn't count," Amanda said. "We were both still seeing other people then."

"It was a date, it counts," he said. "I asked you out, I picked you up, I paid for dinner, we had a good time, it was a real date. Besides, it wasn't even a month later that I stopped seeing anyone but you."

"Ok, you make a good point," she said with a smile. She turned back to her mother and continued her tale. "Anyway, that's part of the reason I haven't been completely truthful. You had just met him and the boys hadn't met him yet. I wanted to ease you into my relationship with Lee slowly. By the time you met Lee, we were already pretty serious about each other. I wasn't quite ready to let you know how serious until you and the boys had gotten to know him a little." Amanda was lying. There was some truth in her statements. It just wasn't the whole truth.

"I see," Dotty said. "How serious are we talking about here?"

Lee and Amanda glanced at each other exchanging ideas wordlessly. Amanda nodded to Lee who reached for the chain around her neck and she lowered her head so he could remove it. He quickly extracted that diamond ring and palmed the wedding band for a moment hoping that he'd been stealthy enough to keep Dotty from seeing it just yet. He glanced over at her and realized that she hadn't as her eyes were glued to the diamond in his other hand. "We were serious enough that by the time I came to the house that day and introduced myself to you, I'd already bought her this ring." he said sliding the ring on his wife's finger. "It was only a couple of days later that I gave it to her." Amanda smiled as she glanced down at the ring then back up at her husband.

"I don't understand, Dotty said in bewilderment. "So, are you telling me that you've been engaged all this time? The whole time that I've known Lee?"

"No, Mother, not the whole time," Amana said.

"Let me guess. You told him not at first or that you needed time or whatever other excuse you could come up with to keep yourself at a distance?"

"No, Dotty, she didn't She said yes about three seconds after I asked her to marry me," Lee said with a smile.

"Ok, I don't get it," Dotty said. "This doesn't make any sense. You say you asked her to marry you months ago and she said yes right away, but yet Amanda says that you haven't been engaged this whole time."

"There's more, Mother," Amanda said with a nod to her husband's closed hand.

"It was only about three and half months after I put that ring on her finger," he relaxed the hand that held her wedding band, "that I put this one there to join it," Lee said as he slid the second ring on her finger.

Dotty stared at her daughter's left hand mutely. Lee and Amanda cast worried looks at each other as they tried to gauge her reaction. Dorothy West being silent was never a good sign. Dotty picked up her daughter's hand gazing at it for a long moment before saying, "That's a beautiful diamond, Lee," she said without looking up. "You have good taste, but the order of the rings should be reversed. Once you're married, traditionally the wedding band should be on the inside, closer to the heart," she said softly.

Amanda looked apprehensively at her husband, then at her mother. Her mother was eerily calm, _too _calm. "Mother, let me expl-"

Dotty violently released her daughter's hand and shoved her chair back as she flung herself out of it just before she exploded. "How dare you?! How dare you keep something this...this... this important from me!" She glanced wildly from Lee to Amanda. "Both of you! What the hell were you thinking!"

Amanda knew it was trouble hearing the word 'hell' come out of her mother's mouth. She very rarely swore. "Mother..." she began.

"No, Don't you say a word! Not _one_ word, Young Lady! I mean it! How could you? I knew you'd been keeping secrets from me, but this...I...I...I...'She sputtered pure fury taking her over. "I can't...I can't even look at the two of you right now!" She said finally as she tore from the room.


	11. Chapter 11

The drive home after Jamie and Amanda had been released from the hospital was a tense one for everyone. Lee and Amanda kept casting worried glances at each other while Dotty stayed numbly mute in the backseat behind her daughter in the passenger seat. Phillip was unusually quiet, entirely focused on his conversation with Lee at breakfast while Jamie sensing the tension between the adults was lost in his own thoughts. They had stopped on the way back to the house for a quick lunch which had been equally as awkward, the only thing keeping it from being downright painful was Jamie's excitement that he was able to eat his first solid food in two days. The drive from the restaurant to the house seemed to stretch on forever with no on talking.

Lee broke the silence by saying, "So, guys while you're with your dad this week, your mom and I are going to be on a trip for work, but how about when everybody gets back, we all do something together, like a trip to the beach or something?"

"That sounds like fun," Phillip said his spirits lifting a little. It was a good sign if Lee was making already wanting to make future plans with them.

"Yet another work trip?" Dotty said suspiciously.

"Yes, Mother," Amanda said. "It's a location shoot at Hungry Mother Park. We're doing a documentary on the changes that are being made to is since the Department of Conservation and Recreation took it over last year. They're doing some extensive remodeling on it. We're going out there to conduct interviews and film the work in progress. We'll probably be back sometime on Sunday."

"Is this that film project Miss Desmond was talking about last night that didn't start until tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you about it, Dotty, _really_," Lee said hoping she would catch on to his true meaning. "Everything just got so complicated."

"Well, Lee, I appreciate your apology, but that's not good enough. This is the kind of thing a mother has a right to know," Dotty said vehemently making it all too clear that she understood the double meaning of Lee's statement perfectly and that she wasn't going to easily forgive and forget. She watched as her daughter placed her left hand on Lee's right arm as if trying to offer him some comfort and couldn't help but notice that the rings were no longer there.

"Mother, We didn't want to keep this from you," Amanda said. "But there were reasons for why we did."

"Your reasons make no sense," Dotty said. "Were you planning on keeping this from your children indefinitely?" Dotty asked as it was clear that the boys didn't have a clue.

"Grandma, it's not that big a deal. They have to go on trips for work all the time," Phillip said.

"No, Mother, We were trying to work out a way to break the news to them," Amanda said.

"It's ok, Mom," Phillip said. "Lee told me this morning that that's how you talked Dad into picking us up tonight."

"Look, at that, we're here," Lee said as he pulled into the driveway.

Dotty flung her door open and got out before Lee had even put the car in park speed-walked to the house to get away from her daughter and son-in-law. _Son-in-law, _she thought. She thought of all the times in the past few months that she'd dropped subtle and not-so-subtle hints that she wanted Lee to be her son-in-law once she'd seen how happy he made her daughter and how much in love they were with each other. She shook her head as she sprinted up to her room slamming the door behind her. She flung herself on her bed feeling like a fool. It wasn't long before she heard voices in the hall.

"Fellas, you better get packed," Amanda was saying. "Your dad will be here in a couple of hours." She then heard her grandsons running down the hall followed by Amanda's voice telling them not to run in the house.

"You need help packing too?"Lee asked her.

"Yeah, That'd be nice. The sooner I get packed, the sooner we can go," Amanda replied.

At hearing this, Dotty flung open her bedroom door, just as Lee and Amanda were walking into Amanda's room. "You're leaving?"Dotty demanded.

"Yeah," Amanda said as she walked across the room to pull her suitcase out of the closet while Lee picked up the overnight bag he'd left there and set it on the bed along with the one he'd taken to the hospital for Amanda.

"Here," Lee said. "You might need this."

"I thought your trip didn't start until tomorrow," Dotty said as she watched Amanda disappear into the bathroom with the smaller bag while Lee began packing her suitcase. It struck her that Lee knew exactly which drawers to open to find the things Amanda would need for the trip.

"It doesn't," Lee said. "But Amanda and I discussed it after you left her hospital room, and all things considered, we thought it might be better if she stayed at my place tonight."

"Oh you did, did you?"She said hotly.

"I have to go home and pack anyway. I haven't been home since we were given this assignment because I've been so busy looking after Amanda and the kids. This will just save me another trip back here to pick her up tomorrow."

"That's awfully convenient and it makes perfect sense from a logical standpoint," Dotty said. "But it also gives you two the perfect opportunity to run away and not deal with this."

"Mother," Amanda said as she returned from the bathroom. "You're angry and you have every right to be. I understand that."

"Angry?" Dotty said incredulously. "No, no. no. Angry doesn't even _begin_ to cover it. I wish I could get to just being angry. There aren't words to describe how furious I am right now and not just with you," she said as she turned to her son-in-law. "I think I'm more angry with you right now. We welcomed you into our home with open arms, I treated you like a son. I thought how wonderful it was that my daughter had such a good man in her life who loved her so much, but this...this deception has completely changed my opinion about you. You are _not_ the good man I thought you were."

"Mother, Lee is a good man. A _really_ good man."

Dotty shook her head. "No, Amanda, I have to disagree. God, when I think about all the times you disappeared to the back yard, it all makes sense now. You were meeting him there for a clandestine tryst. The mere fact that you had to do that to spend time with him is a sign that he is not a good man. A good man wouldn't have hidden that fact that you were dating, making you sneak around the whole time. A good man comes to the front door to pick a woman up for a date, he comes in to meet the family. A good man doesn't hide asking a woman to marry him, he plans it all out and asks the family's blessing. And a good man doesn't hide his marriage and still live like a bachelor as if he's ashamed of being married. It makes me wonder if your friend wasn't right about him. Maybe he wanted to keep it a secret so he could still play around. He wouldn't be the first man wanting to have his cake and eat it too."

"Mother, That's not what's going on here," Amanda said.

"What friend?"Lee asked.

"That Miss Desmond that came to visit last night," Dotty replied.

"Oh, there's a reliable source," Lee said sarcastically. "Look , what you have to understand about Francine is that she and I used to be an item and when the relationship didn't turn out the way she wanted, she blamed it entirely on me and she's thought of me as nothing but a lowlife ever since. I get that you're pissed as hell right now and if I were in your shoes, I'd feel the same way, but know this; I have been nothing but faithful to Amanda. I haven't even so much as looked at another woman in almost two years. If I wanted any woman but her, I'd have never asked her to marry me in the first place. I love your daughter with all my heart. I even offered to quit my job for her so that we could be together full-time."

"What does your job have to do with your marriage?"Dotty asked. "And why would you think it would keep you from being together?"

"Mother, this isn't about the job," Amanda said. "This is just about two people who love each other and want to be together."

"I would love to believe that, Amanda, but what you're telling me is true and that's all it is, why hide it? I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. All this time, I was thinking that you just had cold feet because of how your marriage to Joe ended and I've been praying that the day would come when the two of you would settle down and start building a life together. Imagine my shock at finding out the truth, that you already had."

"Actually, that's the problem, Dotty," Lee replied. "We really haven't started building a life together yet . That part hasn't even really begun. We've still got a lot to figure out. You have no idea how hard this has been on both of us. How painful."

"Well, you could have saved yourselves that pain by doing things the right way from the start."

"We realize that, now, Mother," Amanda said.

"We made a mistake in keeping things a secret. We both admit that," Lee said. "That's what prompted that big fight we had. I was tired of living alone, not being able to be a full-time husband, a full-time stepdad to the boys. But then your stubborn daughter here didn't even want to discuss it," he said with a laugh.

"Oh, no you don't, Lee," Dotty said. "You're not going to joke your way out of this."

"I'm not trying to. I get that we screwed up and I get that you may never forgive us for lying to you, but we need you to at least accept it. We did this all wrong, I know, but after two years of dancing around our feelings for each other and another year of dating, we just didn't want to wait any longer to get married."

"He's telling you the truth, Mother. We did this one-step-forward and two-steps-back dance, flirting with each other, but neither of us admitting that that's what it was, for two years before we went on a real date and dated for a year before we ever even shared a real kiss. It was during that whole mess when we were on the run that we finally admitted that we loved each other and it was only another month after that that we were engaged. By that time, after all we'd been through together, it just felt right not to wait any longer to make a permanent commitment. I wanted to tell you so many times how happy and in love I was, but how would you have reacted if I'd told you I was marrying a man that you had just met? You'd have tried to talk me into to slowing down and lectured me about jumping in with both feet. I couldn't take that chance. I wanted to be his wife more than I have ever wanted anything in my life before."

Dotty was silent for a moment running numbers in her head From all the information they'd given her since they'd told her about their marriage, two years of flirting, a year of dating, three months of being engaged, four months of marriage. "Exactly how long have you two known each other?"

'Four years," Lee answered.

"Four years? But I thought you met at work and Amanda's only worked for IFF for three years."

Amanda finished packing her suitcase and zipped it up, "Actually, I've been there four years."

"Another secret," Dotty said folding her arms across her chest.

"Look, Dotty, we should go. I need my keys back," Lee said.

"Why should I give them back to you? So the two of you can hide some more? That's the whole problem with this situation. The two of you snuck around like two adolescents breaking curfew."

"Ok, you don't want to give me my keys back, fine! Amanda has a set of keys to my car anyway and a key to my apartment."

"Of course she does. How else would you be able to have your secret rendezvous'? You wanna go, fine go, go! I can't stop you, but I guarantee you that if the two of you take off now, it's going to make it that much harder."

"What is it that you want, Mother?"Amanda asked. "What can we do to make this better?"

"You can stay here tonight. You're married. You should be sleeping under the same roof anyway."

"We were planning on it at Lee's place," Amanda pointed out.

"I understand that. You say you want me to accept this, but how can I without a real explanation? I know there's more going on here than you're telling me and that it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you were a couple for longer than you wanted me to know about. I think there's something more, something to do with your job. Why else would you hide both your job and your relationship from me?"

"Mother, there's nothing else we can tell you," Amanda said.

"Amanda, don't you lie to me again! I'm so sick and tired of it! You've been lying to me for four years now! You even lied to me about why you broke up with Dean! You said it was because the relationship wasn't going anywhere and I knew that wasn't true, just like I know there's more to this than just you not wanting to announce that you were engaged to a man that the children and I had just met. You and I both know that no matter how much I might have lectured you about slowing down, you're bull-headed enough that you would have just done it anyway no matter what I said. I swear to God, If you don't tell me what the real reason is behind this, I will never forgive you for this! Either of you!"She said with a glare at Lee.

Lee shifted uncomfortable at Dotty's piercing stare, "Regardless of whether we spend the night here or at my place, I still have to go back to my place and pack for our business trip," he said.

"Fine, you two go, but then come straight back here. Joe should have picked up the boys by the time you get back, I can have some dinner on the table and the three of us can talk."

"That's fair," Lee said. He reached for Amanda's suitcase.

"Leave that here," Dotty snapped.

"I was just going to take it down to the car so it'll be there for when we leave tomorrow."

"You want me to trust you again, give me a reason to. Leave that here, then I'll know you're coming back."

"Ok," Lee said setting the suitcase down on the floor. "Show of good faith."

"We'll be back as soon as we can," Amanda said.

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Lee and Amanda walked through the door of his apartment both weary from the events of the day, neither wanting to go back to the house and face the inquisition that they knew awaited them.

"Come on, let's get this over with," Lee said as they walked through the living room to his bedroom. Lee dropped his overnight bag and wrinkled suit from the day before on the bed before going to the closet to grab his suitcase.

Amanda went to the nightstand and pulled out the lockbox she knew was kept there, sitting down on the side of the bed. She smiled slightly at seeing the velvet box that contained her husband's wedding band. She pulled it out and glanced at the same photo that had prompted Lee's midnight visit to her house and sighed. She took in how happy they looked on the day they were finally married and she'd achieved her dream of becoming Mrs. Lee Stetson. She pulled all of their wedding photographs out of the steel box and slammed the lid shut just as Lee opened his suitcase on the bed before going to the dresser. She then picked up the ring box. "You're going to need this," She said holding it up.

When Lee saw what she was holding, he haphazardly dropped the pile of clothes he'd extracted from the dresser into his suitcase. "Yeah, I guess I do if we're going to be openly married for the next five days." He sat beside her on the bed and reached for the box.

"Let me," she said as she flipped open the lid lifted the ring gently from its housing and slid it onto her husband's finger like she had done the day they said their vows. Wordlessly, he lifted the chain from around her neck, dropping her rings in his palm before sliding both of them on her finger, in the proper order this time, wedding band first. Amanda looked down at her left hand tears stinging her eyes. "I want more than five days," She said as she let the tears fall.

Lee took her in his arms and held her as she let out all she'd been feeling for the past four months, how much it had hurt her to be away from him and not be able to share her love for him with anyone else. How much she hated lying to the people she loved, how much she'd tried to be optimistic when Lee has been pessimistic about their part-time marriage. She'd tried to tell herself that it was better to have him part-time than not at all, but as good as she'd become at lying to everyone around her, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She pulled back from Lee's arms just enough to look at him and ran her fingers through his hair. His lifted his hand to brush away her tears. She took that hand in hers and kissed it gazing at the gold band there. "Don't ever take it off again," she said. "I don't care who knows anymore or what we have to do. I just can't be without you anymore." She kissed him before he could say a word, teasing his lips with hers until he opened his mouth to hers. She slipped her arms around his neck as their kiss deepened and became more heated. She then moved on to tease the tender skin at his neck before whispering in his ear, "Make love to me."

Lee sighed at feeling her warm lips on his skin. "Your mother's expecting us," he said.

"We'll get there, I just need you right now," as she moved closer to straddle him and tugged at his earlobe with her teeth knowing it drove him crazy.

He groaned as he propelled her backwards on the bed pinning her beneath him, then said "Your mother can wait."


	12. Chapter 12

Lee and Amanda lay contentedly in each other's arms exchanging soft kisses as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking, neither wanting to move, but knowing that they had to. Lee lightly stroked his wife's stomach. Ever since she'd told him she was pregnant, he found he didn't want to stop touching her. As he held her, he couldn't help but think about how their baby had been conceived.

"What's that smile about, Scarecrow or should I even ask?"she said with a mischievous grin.

"No," he said with a chuckle. "As amazing as it was. That's not what I was thinking about. I was just thinking that our baby was made here."

"Not necessarily, It could have been in the shower or on the living room floor," She'd already figured out just like Lee had that the day they'd made up from their "quirks" fight was the day that their baby had been conceived. It was the only time they'd ever been reckless about taking preventative measures.

"I didn't just mean the bed. I meant the apartment. You and I have a lot of memories here. Ever since we got married I've been thinking of this place more as ours than just mine. You do know you're the only woman who's been here with me? I mean, I moved into this place shortly after I decided I only wanted to be with you. I didn't want my time with you tarnished by memories of my past."

"I know that, Lee."

"If we do figure out a way to make this work, it'll be hard to give up all the memories we have here."

"Lee, Sweetheart, we won't be giving up anything, it's just an apartment, the memories will stay with us forever. Giving up the apartment doesn't mean giving up what we shared here. Besides, we're going to have a permanent reminder of this place," she said as she laid her hand over his on her stomach.

"You're right, we are," He said with a smile. He placed a light kiss to her stomach and said, "Hi Baby Stetson, I'm your daddy and I love you."

"You know the baby's not big enough to hear your voice yet?"

"I don't care. I'll say it as many times as I need to until the baby can hear me. I don't want our child to ever feel like Phillip and Jamie have. I want this baby to know from the start that he has a father who loves him."

"The baby may not be a "he"," Amanda said. "And it's way too early to know the baby's gender."

"I was speaking in the general sense, not really meaning that the baby's a boy. Besides, I'm not one of those ego-centric guys who has to have a son. I'd love this baby just as much if it were a girl, especially if she inherited her mother's beauty," he said as he kissed his wife again finding that once he started kissing her he didn't want to stop. He continued to kiss her pressing against her, feeling his desire for her growing again. He shifted his lips to her neck saying, 'I can't get enough of you."

Amanda moaned as his assaulted her skin, "Lee," she sighed. "Lee, as good as this feels, we have to stop," she said, but didn't make a move to stop him. Instead she urged him on, calling out his name, opening her legs to allow him entrance, hooking one leg over his back when she felt him enter her again driving him deeper inside her causing him to cry out her name. She grasped his buttocks with both hands trying to pull him in even farther. He'd said he couldn't get enough of her, but she was the one who felt she couldn't get enough of him, of how he made her feel, how incredible he felt moving inside her. She cried out his name again and again as his movements brought to an intense climax. From the low throaty moans she heard coming from him, she knew he was close too. She raised her hips up to meet him clenching her muscles around him until he was calling out her name and telling her again how much he loved her while he erupted inside her.

'What were you saying about stopping," he said breathlessly with a saucy grin which earned him a firm slap on the rear from his wife.

"Why, Mrs. Stetson, " he said mirthfully, "I never knew you were so kinky."

Amanda laughed heartily. "There are all kinds of things you don't know about me yet, but we've got the rest of our lives for you to find them out." She kissed him lightly. "As much as I would love to stay here, just like this, we really should get the packing done and go."

"Yeah, I know," he said as he reluctantly extracted himself from his wife's arms who whimpered slightly at the loss of him.."We should get this done." He reached for her hand, pulling her up. They quickly dressed and Lee chuckled as he saw the mess they'd made. His suitcase was on its side, its contents spilling out on the floor. He picked it up and began work to get it packed as quickly as they could so that Dotty wouldn't be any more upset than she already was. It was then that he noticed the pile of photographs that Amanda had picked up. "Amanda, what are you doing with those?"

"I thought I'd take them back to the house with us. I had a thought that if Mother could see how happy we were the day we got married, that it might, I don't know, help her ease up a little. Dumb idea?"

"No, not dumb. I'm just not sure it's enough," he said as he reached for his badge that lay on the desk and slipped into his jacket pocket. He then went to the closet and pulled out a box from the top shelf. "I know you want to keep her out of the agency part of it to protect her, but we may have no choice but to tell her the whole truth."

"I know," she said as she began pulling items from the dresser. "Part of me wants to. You know how much I've hated lying to her all these years, but the other part of me, the part that wants to protect my family is screaming at me to keep her in the dark for her own safety no matter how mad she is."

"You're conflicted, I know," he said as he opened the box and retrieved the extra clips for his gun, stowing them in his suitcase. "I get that, but if we're going to have a real shot at making this family life work, that may be the only option we have. With your dad gone and my parents...She's going to be the only grandparent our child will have and I don't want our son or daughter not to have that."

"Do you really think you need that many extra clips?" Amanda said gesturing with her head as she added the t-shirts and underwear she'd pulled from the dresser to the suitcase.

"Well, if there really turns out to be a weapons exchange going down, it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she said as she grabbed the overnight bag and headed to the bathroom to pack Lee's toiletries. "You don't really think Mother would distance herself from her grandchild just because she's mad at us, do you?"

"I don't know, Amanda, but I don't want to take that chance. She was pretty damned mad," He said while closing his suitcase.

"Well, still, I don't think she'd take her anger at us out on an innocent child."

"You're probably right, but still I don't want the damage this has caused to your relationship with her to be permanent either. I know how important family is to you and how much it hurts you that you and your mother haven't been as close as you used to be because of all the secrets you've been forced to keep. I feel like it's my fault. If I'd never dragged you into this crazy business..."

"Now, stop!" Amanda said as she returned to the bedroom, overnight back in hand. She reached into the dresser drawer he'd cleaned out for her and threw a few more items in the bag before zipping it up. "You may have initiated my introduction into this life, but I'm the one who chose to stay in this life. I chose to keep doing it because I felt it was worth doing even though I knew it meant keeping secrets from the people I love. And I knew deep down that there would be a time that I'd eventually have to come clean with my mother."

"That time may be today," Lee said.

"I know, and I was really hoping to avoid it. Knowing our secret is going to change her life forever."

"But not knowing it may change your relationship with her forever."

"So, what are we going to do?"

"For now, I say we just keep up what we've been doing, keep playing the hidden relationship angle and see where it takes us. If we can convince her that's all it was about them we've dodged a bullet for another day."

"If not?"

"Let's just play it by ear. If we have to tell her everything, then we tell her everything. Whatever happens, I want you to know that I am not leaving your side again. I will be with you through this whole thing," he said as he gently stroked her face and kissed her softly.

"I know," she said. "Come on, let's go get this over with," she said as slung the overnight back over her shoulder and picking up the wedding photos as her husband hoisted up his suitcase leaving the apartment for what they both hoped would be the last time before returning to pack it up for good.

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Joe King stood outside the front door of his former home fidgeting nervously as he waited for the door to be answered. He couldn't help thinking that what Lee had said was true, that this never really had been his home. He'd never spent enough time in it for it to ever really feel like home. Lee's assessment that he'd spent more time in it was probably right. He and Amanda had bought the house about a month before Jamie has been born and he'd left shortly after his younger son's birth. He'd only really lived in it with his family for three months and had been back so infrequently since then that it had really only ever been Amanda's. When they'd divorced, his name had been removed from it entirely, just like his presence in it had years before.

"Hello, Joe," Dotty said coolly as she opened the door to him then walked away to head back into the kitchen.

Joe sighed as he entered the house closing the door behind him following his ex-mother-in-law. "Where are the boys?"

"Upstairs in their room," Dotty answered distractedly as she absently stirred the contents of a stockpot on the stove.

"Dotty, are you ok?"

"No, Joe, I'm not ok. I've just discovered some disturbing news about my daughter that makes me realize that she's not the person that I thought she was. Not to mention that the man I was fully willing to embrace as a son-in-law is not the man I thought he was either." She reached into a drawer and pulled out a cutting board, picking up a sharp knife from the counter and began slicing carrots that she'd already washed a peeled earlier for the salad she planned on having with dinner.

Joe glanced at the stairs making sure the boys weren't in earshot before saying, "Is this about Amanda's pregnancy?"

"You know about that?"Dotty asked as she continued to work to keep her hands busy tossing a handful of the carrot slices into a salad bowl on top of the lettuce already in it.. Then it hit her. She'd been so angry with Lee and Amanda that she'd temporarily forgotten that she was going to be a grandmother again. She smiled slightly at the thought, but it didn't ease her discomfort at the fact that her daughter had been lying to her for years.

"Yeah, I found out last night when I went to see Jamie at the hospital."

"Ah," she said in understanding. "And no, Joe, this is not because she's pregnant. I was handling that bit of news just fine. It's their other bit of surprise news that's got me rattled." She looked at Joe for any sign on his face that he knew what she was talking about as she paused in her task.

Joe shifted uncomfortably at Dotty's scrutiny. "What surprise news is that?"he said trying to sound nonchalant.

"Nice try at casual, Joe. You know, don't you?" When Joe just looked down to avoid making eye contact with her, she said, "I knew it! You know. You know that they ran off and got married without telling anyone and judging by the look on your face, you've known all along, haven't you?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"How could you? You and I were family at one time. How could you have helped her keep a secret of this magnitude from me, from your own children!"

"I didn't want to! I had no choice!"

"You always have a choice, Joe." Dotty said waving her arms frantically in frustration forgetting for a moment that she still had the knife in her hand until Joe jumped back hurriedly to avoid it's sharp blade.

"No, I really didn't. Amanda dropped this bomb on me a week before the wedding, then swore me to secrecy. I didn't want to keep this secret. I didn't even want to know what she was doing in the first place. The second she asked me to keep it a secret, I wished she'd never told me she was getting married."

"If you didn't want to keep their secret, then why did you?"Dotty demanded slamming the knife down on the counter.

"Because there are reasons they kept the secrets they did. That's all I can tell you."

"Reasons? That's not good enough! Amanda won't tell me what's really going on and neither will Lee, so you'd better come clean with me. What is this big secret that has kept my daughter lying to me for four years?"

"I can't tell you that, Dotty. It's not my secret to tell."

"That is simply unacceptable! There has to be a reasonable explanation for this level of deception and I insist that you tell me what it is."

"There is a reasonable explanation for it, but I can't explain it to you. You'll have to ask Amanda."

"Don't you think I have?" she said as she resumed her salad preparations turning her back on him.

"And what did she tell you?"

"She told me some cockamamie story about how she and Lee had been dating long before the children and I met him."

'That's true. They were dating when I came back from Africa. I was a little disappointed actually. I thought that maybe Amanda and I might have had another shot if I stayed here in DC, but as soon as I saw her with Lee for the first time, I knew that it was too late. I could see by the way she looked at him that she was crazy about him. We were married for ten years and I never saw her look at me that way."

"Now, come on, Joe, you know that she loved you."

"She did, she still does, but I don't think that she was ever truly in love with me. Not the way a wife should be, not like she is with Lee. I think she thought she was, but the more we were apart, the more it became clear that she wasn't."

"Now, Joe, you know that simply isn't true," she said as turned back to face him.

"It is, Dotty. If she'd truly been in love with me, she'd have traveled with me so we could be together instead of apart. Look at all the military wives that do it on a daily basis to support their husband's careers. She told me that she filed for divorce because the distance had made us grow apart, but the real reason is that she just didn't love me enough to fight anymore for our marriage. With Lee, it's different, she's fought tooth and nail to be with him and make their marriage work even though they live apart. Think about it, Dotty. Think about how many times in the past four months since they've been married that she's suddenly had to work late or go out of town on business? How many weekends lately I've had the boys even though it wasn't my scheduled weekend with them? All those times were so she could spend a little time with her husband. She loves him enough to fight for their marriage when she never did with me."

"Maybe you're right, but none of that matters. It still doesn't explain why they kept this hidden to begin with."

"And I've already told you that I'm not the one who can explain it to you. Don't you think that if they kept a secret this huge from you and the kids and the people they work with that they had a damn good reason for doing so?"

"What on earth could that reason be? What possible justification could my daughter have for not only hiding her marriage, but her entire courtship with Lee from me? I just..." she sighed trying to calm herself. "I just don't understand it. If I could just have some reason that makes sense, I think I could start accepting it."

"Dotty, trust me, you don't _want_ to understand it. I don't want to know the things I do about Amanda, but I have no choice! I can't un-know all the things I do or pretend that I don't know. I guarantee you, if you get your answers, they're not going to give you the peace of mind you're looking for. You're going to feel the same way I do. You'll wish you didn't know."

"What is going on that could possibly be so awful? Is there another woman? Was he married when they met or something? Kids? House?" She couldn't help but wonder what that Miss Desmond had meant with her comments last night. Lee had told her that it was due to them having a prior relationship, but what if there was more to it?

Joe chuckled ironically with a shake of his head. "I wish it were that simple, Dotty, but it's not. Maybe you should think about accepting that there are things about her life that just can't tell you for your own good. Trust me when I tell you that Amanda's not being malicious in lying to you. She's trying to keep you and the boys safe. That is the only reason that I have put up with helping her keep her secrets, to keep my children safe."

"Keep them safe? What on earth would Lee and Amanda's marriage have to do with keeping the children safe?"

"I can't, Dotty, I just _can't_. Knowing what I know already puts me at risk. I'm not going to expose you to that same risk. Amanda would never forgive me it something happened to you because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I've already said too much as it is."

"Does this have anything to do with what happened to you when you came back from Estoccia?"

"No, not directly anyway. That's how I found out what I know, but that's all there is to it. I'm sorry, Dotty, but if you want all the answers you're going to have to get them from Amanda. Now, I should get the boys and go."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," she said as she turned back to the salad still fuming, now not only at Lee and Amanda's duplicity, but Joe's as well. She couldn't help but wonder who else was in on this secret. Was she the only one who didn't know? She heard the front door open and turned at the sound to see her daughter enter the kitchen.

"Something smells good in here," Amanda said cheerfully trying to break the ice with her mother.

"Homemade beef stew. I thought you could use something hearty since you were so run down from not eating properly," Dotty said in a monotone. "Where's Lee?"

"He went to take his bags upstairs to put with mine, so we'll be ready to leave tomorrow."

"I see," Dotty said. "Dinner should be ready soon."

Amanda sighed frustrated that he mother wouldn't even make eye contact with her. She was about to say something when her thoughts were interrupted by sound of her children barreling down the stairs and Joe's voice telling them to slow down before they hurt themselves. "Hey, Fellas', you all ready to go?" she said to her sons.

"Yep," Phillip said unenthusiastically.

"Well, listen, you guys be good for your dad. You're gonna' have a great time and I'll see you Sunday night when we get back." She reached for them kissing both of them. "Mother, did you give Joe Jamie's prescription?"

"No, I forgot."

"I got it," she said as she reached for the pharmacy bag on the other side of the kitchen island that contained two prescriptions, one for her son and one for herself. She pulled out Jamie's and handed it to Joe. "Here's the antibiotic the doctor prescribed for him. He's already taken one today. He'll need another one before bedtime and you'll need to make sure he takes it twice a day until it's all gone."

"Ugh, Mom," Jamie whined. "I feel fine."

"You may feel better than you did yesterday and your fever may be down, but that doesn't mean the infections is gone so no arguments. I don't want your dad to have to take you back to the hospital." She kissed him on the top of the head. Dotty watched this interaction and realized that no matter what she thought of her daughter right now, she was still a wonderfully caring mother.

"Fellas, why don't you head on out to the car and load your stuff up and I'll be out there in a minute," Joe said. The boys did as they were told and Joe turned his attention to Amanda just as Lee descended the stairs behind him. "So, have you two figured out when you're going to tell them the truth?"

"Yeah," Lee said as he entered the kitchen. "We discussed it at the hospital. We thought once we wrapped up this assignment we'd take the boys on a little vacation. We've both got some time off coming up."

"I think that's a good idea. The sooner, the better. You know I never liked the idea of all the secrecy."

"Joe, you know why we did what we did," Amanda said.

"I know," Joe said squeezing her hand to reassure her that even though he didn't like it, he understood. As he did, he couldn't help noticing the rings there. "Does this mean you're going to start living out in the open like a normal couple?" indicating the rings.

"That's the plan," Lee said as he wrapped his arm around his wife's waist possessively with a glare a Joe King. They may have cleared the air, but he still didn't like the other man touching his wife. Joe immediately released Amanda's hand. Lee nodded slightly at Joe acknowledging that he'd taken the hint. "We want everyone to know. We just haven't quite figured out how much truth to tell."

"God!"Dotty said once again slamming her knife down on the counter. "Would you just stop talking in riddles?"

"I should go," Joe said. "Let you guys deal with this."

"Yeah," Lee said. "Thanks, Joe." He shook the other man's hand before Joe made his exit.

"All right, now it's just us," Dotty said. "I want to know what's really going on. Joe told me he's known about your marriage since before you got married and that he knows the real reason that you kept it from me and I demand to know too!"

"Mother, we already told you-"

"No! I do _not _accept that it was just because we didn't know Lee that well. If you want me to accept this, you need to give me a _real _explanation. You owe me that!"

Lee and Amanda exchanged a glance and without saying a word, both reached into their jacket pockets pulling out their badges, holding them up for her to see as they would when Identifying themselves as federal agents during an interview.


	13. Chapter 13

Dotty's stood staring at the agency IDs being held up in front of her for a moment before snatching Amanda's from her hand to examine it more closely. There was no mistaking it. The ID portion had her daughter's picture on it, her name below the photo and her signature at the bottom in her familiar handwriting. "Is this some kind of a joke?"Dotty said incredulously.

"No, it's no joke," Lee answered. "In fact, it's deadly serious."

"Emphasis on the deadly," Amanda said. "That's why we've kept this from you."

"How long has this been going on really?"Dotty inquired still staring at her daughter's badge.

"Why don't we sit down and we'll explain everything. Give you the answers you want," Lee suggested. "I seem to recall someone promising us dinner while we talk," he said smiling at Dotty hoping to ease the tension a little.

"Right," Dotty said finally relinquishing her daughter's badge and handing it back to her.

The three of them worked in silence to set the table in the kitchen, not feeling the need to use the dining room table since it was just the three of them. They settled in at the table and began to eat in an awkward silence, none of them sure how to begin the long-overdue conversation. Lee was the first to break the stalemate. "This stew is delicious, Dotty," He said with an lopsided smile. "My compliments to the chef."

"Don't you suck up to me, Lee Stetson! You may be cute and charming, but I'm still mad at you! You promised me answers and I want those answers."

"I know," Lee said with a sigh.

"Where do you think we should start?"Amanda said glancing at her husband.

"Train station?"Lee suggested. "That's where this all got started."

"So, you two didn't meet at IFF?"Dotty questioned then realized how stupid that sounded given the new knowledge she had and corrected herself before either of them could say a word. "Of course you didn't. You don't even really work for IFF."

"No, Mother, we really do," Amanda said.

"Amanda, don't lie to me again. It's quite obvious from the badge that you showed me that you don't and that you never did."

"She's not lying, Dotty," Lee said. "If you look at our paychecks or W-2s any of our personnel documents, you'll see IFF listed as the name of our employer. We really do work for IFF, just not making films."

"Clearly," Dotty said.

"Mother, IFF is a cover, a front, a disguise for what really goes on there. If it were public knowledge that the building we work in were actually the home of a covert government intelligence agency we'd be under attack at the office on a regular basis and never be able to get any real work done."

"So, this assignment you've got tomorrow..."

"Not a documentary," Lee said. "It's an undercover assignment. We really can't say much more than that due to the sensitive nature of our work."

"That is not an acceptable answer! You've both been lying to me for four years and I need more than "we can't say!" she said her ire rising again.

Lee started to say something, but Amanda, sensing that he was about to lose his cool too, stopped him with a calming hand on his arm. "It's ok, Sweetheart." Lee smiled at her placing his hand over hers and squeezing it gently. Amanda turned to her mother and said, "We'll tell you as much as we can without jeopardizing national security, but it's best to start at the beginning."

"Ok," Dotty said.

Amanda launched into the story of how they met, the train station, the man in the red hat, the package. She told her mother every detail that she could leading up to the arrest of Mrs. Welch.

"After that, Billy was so impressed with her work, that he offered her a job as civilian auxiliary to help me out with my cases," Lee explained. "That was four years ago."

"Billy?"she said turning that name over in her mind. "Billy," she said again. "Billy as in the nickname for William, as in William Melrose?" she said the pieces suddenly started to fit together. "You work with him?"

"Actually, we work _for_ him," Amanda clarified. "He's our supervisor and a good friend."

"And that Miss Desmond?"

"Billy's administrative assistant and a damn good friend herself."

"Is she's such a good friend, then what was that conversation last night all about? She didn't seem like much of a friend when she called you, what was it? A vile manipulator."

"That was her trying to be Amanda's friend. I told you that Francine and I used to date. Well, she's not the only one. I have a bit of a past with women, a past that I'm not particularly proud of and since she's part of that past and is all too aware to the bad reputation I built for myself, she was concerned for Amanda. That she'd become just another piece of my colorful past."

"I see," Dotty said.

"The thing is my past is my past. It's done and over with. Ever since Amanda and I got together, I realized how empty that life I used to live is and I can't ever go back to that lifestyle. I don't want to. Francine has had a little trouble accepting that I'm not the playboy I used to be. No matter what she thinks of me in that regard though, I know that she's still a friend and that she will always have my back, just like my amazing partner here," He said with a smile at Amanda.

"So, Amanda," Dotty said. "All those times you came home with your clothes torn or stained or the car in a million pieces..."

"Hazards of the job," Amanda said succinctly.

"Your amnesia?"Amanda nodded. "You following me when I dated Dr. Zernov?" Amanda nodded again. Dotty sat a moment processing information and it struck her that Joe had said that he'd found out without wanting to when he'd come back from Estoccia. "Joe's trouble?" Amanda nodded. "The destroyed hair salon?"

"Yes, all of those were Agency-related," Amanda said.

"Oh, God, Your shooting!"Dotty cried in horror. "That's what you meant when you said it was deadly."

"No, Dotty," Lee said. "Oddly enough, the one time that Amanda came that close to dying, we weren't even working. We were on our honeymoon and just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. We'd only been married a day when it happened."

"No wonder you were so nervous, so scared."

"I remember you being pretty scared yourself."

"But you, you were about to see your marriage end before it even began. That must have been devastating for you."

"I almost told you the truth in the hospital. I wanted to so badly that day that Amanda's heart stopped. I just kept thinking that if the doctors weren't able to revive her and she had died, no one would ever know that she'd been my wife."

"What stopped you?"

"You. When I put my arms around you, the way that you were shaking, the look of pure terror on your face, I knew that I couldn't do it. It wasn't the right time. It would have been too much to add to your already existing stress."

"Well, I wish you had told me the truth then. We wouldn't be having this conversation now if you had. I think I could have handled it a few days into your marriage better than a few months."

"What we told you earlier was still the truth," Amanda said. "We really did want to ease you and the boys into our relationship and not let on how serious it was right away, mostly to give the boys time to adjust to having a new man in my life, in their lives."

"So, Lee, there's something that I don't understand about that day you came to the house and finally introduced yourself to me. You told me that Amanda would be gone at least another day, but now that I know the truth that makes me wonder why you weren't with her if you're partners. I mean, I even commented on it that day that when she goes out of town, she's usually with you, but of course, I didn't know then what I did now. So, what was going on that you weren't together?"

Lee shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Dotty...Um..."

Amanda once again laid her hand on his arm and said, "I've got this one." She took a deep breath before, saying, "The reason that we weren't together is because I was being held hostage and tortured by a terrorist."

"Oh, Amanda," Dotty gasped.

"I'm fine, Mother, he didn't really hurt me."

"Are you kidding me, Amanda?" Lee said in outrage. "He pumped you full of hypnotic drugs, deprived you of sleep and food, not to mention the bruises from him slapping you around like a rag doll. You had nightmares for a solid week after that!"

"Lee," She said in a warning tone.

"I'm sorry, Amanda, but if we're going to be truly honest with your mother, we need to stop sugar-coating things. She needs to know how dangerous this job can be. Maybe then she can understand why we kept the secrets that we did."

"He's right, Amanda," Dotty said. "I demanded the truth from you and that's exactly what I want, no matter how painful it is."

"Mother, there are things that you shouldn't have to know about?"Amanda said as she reached across the table for her mother's hand.

Dotty yanked her hand away from her daughter and said, "Stop it, Amanda! Stop trying to protect me from whatever it is you think you're protecting me from! When are you going to learn? I'm and adult! I can handle whatever truth you tell me, no matter what it is. Just start telling some."

"It was awful, ok! I was scared out of my mind! I was terrified I was never going to see you or my children again! He was going to sell me to the Libyans when I couldn't give him the information he wanted. I kept trying to be brave and kept trying to tell myself that Lee would get there to rescue me, but the longer I was there the more helpless I felt," By the time Amanda finished, she had tears pouring down her face.

Lee wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest sobbing."Shhh, Amanda," he said as he pulled her into his lap and held her as she trembled in his arms, "Oh, sweetheart, don't cry, you're safe now, I did come for you, remember?" He kissed the top of her head as he stroked her hair with one hand and her back with the other to comfort her. "I will _always _come for you. Always." While this was going on, Dotty couldn't help but tear up a little herself, not only at how much her daughter had been through, but it really struck her how deeply Lee cared for her and how good he was to her.

When the shaking subsided and her sobs had ebbed, Amanda raised her head looking into her husband's eyes and softly said, "I love you."

"And I love you,' He said as he brushed the remnants of her tears away and softly kissed her.

"I must look a mess," she said with a soft chuckle.

"Uh-uh," Lee said. "You're beautiful."

'Well, you're kinda' biased. I think I'd better go clean myself up," she said as she kissed him lightly before heading to the kitchen sink to splash water on her face.

When Lee looked across the table at her mother-in-law, he saw that she had tears in her eyes as well. "Are you ok?" he asked her.

Dotty nodded and said, "I just can't believe my baby girl has been through so much and I never even had a clue. She kept it all to herself and put on such a brave face. That's why you came back a few days after that first time you visited to tell me she'd be gone longer?"

"Yeah," Lee said.

"Was she a hostage that whole time?"

"No, she was with me at my place for a week after we got her out of there. I knew from experience, having been in that situation before myself, that she'd need time to heal before she could face you and the boys again. I knew she'd probably have nightmares that you wouldn't be able to deal with. She'd need someone who's been there."

"You know, it just occurred to me that that was the longest stretch of time that we were ever able to sleep in the same bed and fall asleep in each other's arms," Amanda said as she sat back down next to her husband who draped his arm across her shoulders. When Dotty gave her an inquisitive look, "Don't give me that look, Mother, there was nothing sexual about it."

Dotty gave her another look and said, "So, after an ordeal like that, you just felt comfortable sleeping next to Lee?"

" Ok, Ok, it wasn't the first time I'd slept in his bed, that's why I felt comfortable, but that's not what I was there for. It was like Lee said, I needed healing and having him there to hold me when I woke up from a nightmare was just what I needed. Somehow he always knows what I need," She said with a smile at Lee as she reflected on their lovemaking that afternoon. Lee took in that smile, knowing exactly what it meant. He blushed slightly for the thoughts he was having with her mother sitting right there.

Lee and Amanda's silent interaction was not lost on Dotty. "So, that explains why it took you two hours to pack and get back here, doesn't it?"She said with a knowing grin. "I thought that was kind of strange when Lee only lives a 10-15 minute drive away."

"What?"Lee said a little startled.

"Let's just say we took a little detour from packing..."Amanda said with a sultry smile at Lee and added, "...twice."

Lee blushed furiously at Amanda's candidness in front of her mother. "Now, Amanda, cone on. Let's not give away _all _our secrets, huh?"

"Well, I just thought it my help my mother to accept our marriage if she knows that I have a men who makes me very, _very_ happy."

"Ok, first of all," Dotty said glancing at Lee, "The two of you are having a child together so it's not like I don't already know that you have a physical relationship and second," she said turning to Amanda, "I never said that I have a problem accepting your marriage, it's the secrecy of it that I have a problem with."

"So, you're ok with me being your son-in-law?" Lee said.

"Of course, Lee. I realized the first time that I saw you and Amanda together that she was crazy in love with you even thought she didn't tell me about it," Dotty said with a glare at her daughter.

"Have I mentioned that I'm sorry?" Amanda said.

"I understand, Amanda. Really, I do," she said reaching for her daughter's hand. "I can't believe that you've basically been living three lives all this time and it hasn't made you crazy. I was just so angry, I didn't see how rough this has been on you."

"You mean, you're not angry anymore?"

"No, but I won't say that I'm not still disappointed that I didn't get to be there for your wedding."

"That reminds me," Amanda said as she released her mother's hand and headed to the den to the couch where she had tossed her purse containing the wedding photos. She headed back to the table with them handing them to her mother. "I thought you might like to see these."

"Oh," Dotty said as she flipped through the pictures. "You looked so beautiful and so happy."

"We were both pretty happy that day," Lee said as he again draped his arm across her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you, Amanda," Dotty said. "It's getting late an it's been a long day. I think should save the rest of my questions for another time. You two should get to bed, Amanda needs her rest, especially if you're going to be working on some undercover assignment for the next five days."

"Mother, we can't leave you with this mess," Amanda protested.

"No, I've got this. You should be able to spend at least one uninterrupted night sleeping next to your husband before you start whatever this big case is. I need some time to think anyway. You know how I am, Amanda. Doing housework helps me focus my thoughts."

"I'm sure, Darling, now go," she said as she kissed her daughter's cheek. She then turned to Lee and did the same. "Thank you, Lee for loving my daughter."

Lee was pleasantly surprised by this gesture. He turned to his wife smiling. "Shall we, Mrs. Stetson," He said as he rose from hid chair and held out his hand to her.

"Absolutely, Mr. Stetson," She replied taking his hand.

Dotty sighed as she felt a lot of the tension of the day drain as she watched them ascend the stairs together, smiling at the knowledge that her daughter was finally happy.

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About an hour or so later, Lee descended the stairs alone wearing only a pair of pajama pants and was surprised to find the kitchen light still on. Dotty was sitting on one of the stools at the island gazing once again at the wedding photos.

"Can't sleep?" He said startling her.

Dotty started. "Oh, Lee, I didn't hear you come down here."

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Fourteen years in the intelligence community has taught me how to be quiet."

"What are you still doing up or should I even ask?" she said with a smirk. Lee blushed a little at the knowing smile on Dotty's face. "Oh, don't be embarrassed, Lee. That's why I stayed down here. I thought you and Amanda could use some privacy and since my room is right next to Amanda's..."

"Oh," he said. He shifted a little uncomfortably as he noticed that Dotty was staring at his bare chest. He glanced down and said, "I'm sorry if this is making you uncomfortable. If I'd known you'd be down here, I'd have put a shirt on. I only came down here because Amanda asked me to get her a glass of milk and her prenatal vitamins. She forgot to take them earlier with everything that was going on." He reached across the counter for the prescription bag that had been left there earlier.

"You're not making me uncomfortable, Lee. It's not like I haven't seen a half-naked man before. I'm sorry for staring. I just couldn't help noticing your scars."

Lee extracted the pill bottle before turning his back to Dotty to get the milk out of the refrigerator."Oh, occupational hazard," he said. When he turned, Dotty couldn't help but notices that scar on his left shoulder went all the way through to his back.

"I see," Dotty said as Lee pulled a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with milk for his wife. "Do you feel like talking about it?"

Lee sighed, returned the milk to the refrigerator and turned back to face Dotty. "Do you think it would help you come to terms with this to know?"

"Well, You were telling me earlier that the whole reason for your secrecy was the danger involved in your work, so it might."

"Ok, This one," he said gesturing to the scar on his right side just below his ribs "is the most recent one. It happened a few days before our wedding. I was tracking down an old acquaintance of mine who'd previously been busted for selling secrets and he had a penchant for also messing around with married women. I got caught on the wrong end of a jealous husband's gun."

"We had to get a little inventive on our wedding night to work around that," Amanda said with a laugh from the bottom of the stairs. "Didn't we?"she said as wrapped her arms around her husband from behind.

"Amanda," He said with an backward glance.

"What about that one on your left shoulder? That one goes all the way through doesn't it?"

"Yeah," he said.

"This one?" Amanda said lightly touching it with her finger before placing a soft to the puckered skin there. She spotted the glass of milk Lee had poured for her and released her husband to retrieve it and take her vitamins. "That's leftover from the crazy actor three years ago who thought he was a spy just because he used to play one on TV. He tried to slice you up like a Christmas ham."

"You were involved in that?"Dotty asked.

"Yes, she was," Lee said. "He not only stabbed me. If you recall, Amanda, he also tried to blow you to bits."

"Yeah, but you saved me from that."

"Just like you saved me from this one" Lee said pointing to the one on the opposite shoulder "And got me the medical attention I needed."

"I remember. Christmas Eve, three years ago."

"I don't know how I feel about all this," Dotty said. "The danger."

"Honestly, Mother," Amanda said. "While it can get dangerous, we're not in danger every day. A lot of it ends up being boring stakeouts, surveillance jobs, interviews, not the stuff you see in James Bond movies."

"Don't forget long hours doing endless, mind-numbing paperwork. The main concern is for the times that it does get dangerous, like the hostage situation we were telling about earlier. The guy that took her did it to get to me. It wasn't about her at all. Something like that could happen to Phillip or Jamie or you."

"It's been hard, Mother. Harder than I ever imagined it would be for us to be married, but living apart."

"Amanda, that's the thing I don't get at all," Dotty said. "You should have known it wouldn't work. That's exactly why your marriage to Joe fell apart. You were married, but living separate lives.. What on earth made you think you could make that work a second time when it didn't work the first time?"

"I didn't think it would be as bad since Lee and I at least see each other at work every day."

"But then work started becoming torture, being together, but not being able to really be together, trying to pretend to our co-workers that we're not in love," Lee said. "That's why I blew up at the office the other day. I just couldn't take it anymore, not being able to live any semblance of a normal life with my wife," he said as he wrapped his arms around Amanda and she leaned into him.

"I think I understand," Dotty said. "I think I've had enough of this for one day. I'm going to go to bed and I suggest you two do the same. You need to get some sleep if you're going to be alert to do whatever investigating you need to do for your secret mission tomorrow."

"Yeah, you tend to get killed less often that way," Amanda said with a smile at her husband recalling the first time she'd seen his chest bare like it was now. Lee laughed at this and remember how uncomfortable she'd been at the prospect of spending the night with him. How times had changed.

"Is that supposed to be funny?"Dotty said.

"Just a private joke, Mother," she said. "Like Lee said earlier, we can't give away all our secrets." Amanda took lee by the hand and led him toward the stairs. "Good-night, Mother."

"Good-night," Dotty said watching them until they were out of sight. She picked up Amanda's empty milk glass and rinsed it out in the sink before heading to be herself secure that she'd sleep better than she had in years knowing that her daughter was no longer lying to her.


	14. Chapter 14

Lee and Amanda had stopped by The Agency briefly to pick up the file on the case they were about to embark on and arrived at the state park the next afternoon, checked in and were given directions to their cabin. Lee pulled the "vette up to their assigned cabin to find Francine's car already parked there. "Great," he muttered.

"Hey, come on, now," Amanda said. "You were the one who suggested this assignment might be the perfect opportunity for us to get some good practice at being married out in the open and you knew Francine and Efraim were on this assignment too. Since Francine already knows, that makes this even easier. We don't have to hide anything and with Efraim, we can just act like we're playing our cover."

"Yeah, maybe," Lee said not entirely convinced. "We could just tell him the truth and not even worry about it. I mean, he is your training supervisor so he's going to have to know sooner or later."

"In his case I've prefer later," Amanda said. "You know what a tattletale he is. He's worse than the boys. He'd go running to Billy before we have a chance to tell him ourselves and we owe it to Billy to tell him face to face."

"Billy can handle it if we don't," Lee said. "It's not like he doesn't already suspect anyway, he's been dropping hints to me about us getting married since last October."

"Lee, no, Billy would be hurt. I think we should wait to tell Efraim."

"Amanda, I thought we agreed we weren't going to keep this secret anymore. Yesterday you were on board with this. You even said yourself you wanted more than five days."

"I know and I do, but now isn't the right time."

"Damn it, Amanda! We talked about this! Are you going to fight me on this again?"

"I'm not fighting. I'm just saying we should wait until we wrap up this case and tell Billy first before we tell anyone else at The Agency!"

"Oh, but it was fine for you to just blurt it out to Francine! Francine, of all people! The one who's been on my case ever since she first found out that you and are were involved."

"That was different. Like I already told you, I desperately needed someone to talk to about this!"

"Yeah, I heard you say that, but it still hurts that you wouldn't talk to me about it! I'm your husband, Damn it!" Lee flung the door open in anger.

Francine and Efraim exited the cabin just as Lee and Amanda were getting out of the car. Lee opened the trunk to start unloading their bags flinging them violently to the ground while the other pair unloaded luggage at Francine's car.

"You guys haven't unloaded your stuff yet?"Amanda said trying not to let on how rattled she was.

"No, we were getting the lay of the land first," Efraim answered as he awkwardly glanced from Lee to Amanda wondering if they were still fighting. Judging by the way they were both behaving, he suspected they were.

"So, I take it that since we're all right here, that means the four of us are sharing a cabin." Lee said in annoyance.

"Yeah, the retreat was so booked they assigned two couples to each of the two-bedroom cabins," Francine replied. "It's not surprising that they put us all in the same one since we were registered at the same time."

"I guess that makes sense," Lee said as he hoisted his and Amanda's bags not wanting her to do any heavy lifting and all four walked into the cabin together. He was irked though that he and Amanda wouldn't have as much alone married couple time as they had planned on, not that it really mattered now since she was pissed at him again.

"They told us when we checked in that these cabins are set up for families, not multiple couples, so one room has a double bed and the other has bunk beds," Francine explained. "They told us we'd have to duke it out with the other couple for who gets what room, but I don't think that's necessary since it's you guys we're sharing with. I hope you don't mind, but we took the room with the bunk beds leaving you two the room with the double bed," She said with a suggestive look at Lee and Amanda gesturing toward the empty bedroom to the left of the main room. "There's no way I'm going to share a bed with Beaman here."

"You don't know what you're missing, Frannie," Efraim quipped sliding his arm around her waist.

"Do you plan on keeping that hand intact," Francine said with an icy glare. Efraim quickly removed his hand "Besides, the way Roxanne from accounting tells it, there's not much there to miss." Lee and Amanda both laughed at this as Efraim sulkily carried his bags into the room to the right. "And from what I gathered from your argument the other day, this won't be the first time you two have shared a bed, so we didn't figure you would mind sharing," she said as she turned back to wink at them before following Efraim into the other room.

"It won't be the last time either," Lee said pointedly earning an frosty scowl from his wife.

"Listen," Efraim said from the other room. "Since the events of this thing don't get started for another three hours we thought once we got unpacked, we'd start doing some poking around seeing if we can't buddy up to some of the other couples here and see if we can narrow down who's involved with the Brigade."

"Sounds like a good plan," Amanda said. "Before we do anything else though, I need to get cleaned up. I'm all sticky from the car ride up here." She walked into the bedroom she'd soon be sharing with her husband. She sighed. She'd been looking forward to it. Now, she wasn't so sure.

"And I want to get unpacked and settled before we do anything else," Lee said. following his wife's lead with their luggage.

"Ok, we'll see you guys later," Francine said.

By the time Lee entered the room, made sure the door was firmly closed and locked behind them and laid the two suitcases and two overnight bags on the bed, Amanda had already hightailed it to the bathroom, her discarded clothes in a pile on the bed. He heard her turn on the shower and he began to strip off his own clothes and padded to the bathroom to join her hoping against hope that she wouldn't turn him away. His breath was momentarily halted as he saw the silhouette of his wife's nude body against the shower curtain. He pulled it aside just enough to step in behind her, closing it behind him.

"Hi," Lee said not sure what else to do. Things were so awkward between them right now.

"Hi," she said as she reached for a washcloth, lathered it up and handed it to him over her shoulder. "Can you help me with my back?" Lee swallowed hard. _So far, so good. _She hadn't kicked him out. He ran the cloth across her shoulder blades, down her back to just above her tight rear end covering her in soap before stepping back a little to let the shower spray wash it off. He then moved his hand lower to her buttocks caressing each cheek with the cloth before slipping it between her legs. He knew his was pushing his luck, but he had to try something to break their stalemate. He held his breath slightly waiting for her reaction. Would she let him continue or would she tell him to go to hell? He was rewarded with a soft moan from her lips and breathed a sigh of relief. He paused for a moment to rinse the soap out of the cloth before moving it back to where he'd had it caressing her gently with it and found himself getting excited at the sounds she was making. He traced the scar on her back with his other hand before lowering his lips to it That scar was always a reminder of how close he'd come to losing her forever and now when he saw it he couldn't help but think that if they'd survived near-death, surely they could survive these never-ending arguments about who to tell their secrets to.

No longer content with just touching her and wanting to taste her, he gently turned her around to face him, locking his lips on hers, probing her mouth with his tongue the way he was longing to probe her body. He lowered his mouth to her neck, then to the scar on her chest before sinking even lower placing his lips to the damp curls between her legs before reaching his true destination causing her to cry out as his lips and tongue began their assault on her most tender region. He stroked her again and again with his tongue and took great pleasure in hearing her moan and cry out his name. He knew she was close and he wanted to bring her over the edge. He pressed his tongue into her more firmly until he felt her shuddering above him and before the spasms from her climax had had time to stop, he stood and raised one of her legs to his hip and drove himself up into her with all the force he could muster, causing her to cry out even louder than before.

Now that he had her where he wanted her, he had no intentions of being gentle. He felt a great need to remind her that she belonged to him. He lowered his mouth to suckle her neck as he continue to drive into her. She knew instantly what he was doing and spurred him on. "Harder!" Amanda cried out her need for him as desperate as his for her. She was tired of the distance their secret marriage was causing and the endless fighting. She just wanted to feel close to him.

"I...can't...get...deep ..enough.. inside...you," he panted hoarsely as he continued to thrust up into her. She decided to help him by taking a small leap and wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips. He pushed up against her driving her back against the cool tile resuming his brutal assault on her neck, biting down more forcefully than he normally would.

"That's going to leave a mark," Amanda said but didn't stop him enjoying he lips ravaging her neck while he was pounding into her at the same time. Lee kept it up driving into her again and again until he felt her clenching around him and heard her crying out his name over and over again. "Oh, Lee you're so good, so hard, feels so good" she cried as wave after wave of pleasure overtook her.

Lee continued plunging into her until relishing the feel of how tight she was around him until he began to tumble over the edge with her. He released her neck and kissed her mouth again but continued to move inside her until the last vestiges of his climax had subsided. He stopped moving but didn't release her, just continued to invade her mouth with his tongue until felt he could no longer hold her up and was forced to let go.

Amanda whimpered at the loss of him inside her and moved to kiss him puling him back into her arms needing to still feel his body pressed against hers. This time it was her turn to pin him against the shower wall kissing him fiercely. They continued to kiss each other feverishly, groping and grinding against one another until the hot water ran out. "We should get out of here before we freeze to death," He said as he turned off the shower spray and stepped out of the shower reaching for her hand to help her out. As soon as they were both out, he pulled her into his arms and began a new assault on her mouth grinding against her again both of them still dripping wet from the shower.

She broke away from him trying to catch her breath. She turned and caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror. "Yep, definitely left a mark," she said looking at the reddish-purple love bite now visible on her neck.

"Good," Lee said. "Now, people will know you're taken whether we tell them or not, " he said not feeling a bit sorry that he'd temporarily branded her. He lowered his lips to her neck again from in the same spot while he reached for her hands where she had placed them on the countertop and entered her from behind. She gasped and looked down at their linked hands. He lifted his mouth from her neck. and said , "No, Amanda, don't look down. I want you to look my face in the mirror so you can see what you do to me."

Across the hall, Efraim and Francine were just existing their room having finished their unpacking. As they passed the door to the other room, they heard Lee's voice loudly saying, "Oh, God, Amanda, do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"You think they're fighting again," Efraim said.

As they heard more sounds coming from them that were clearly not sounds of a fight, Francine said, 'Definitely not."

"Nope. So, what do you think, make-up sex after their fight the other day?"

"Probably," Francine said though knowing what she did now, she highly doubted it. They seemed to have made up when she saw them at the hospital. "You know, whatever, they're doing, we should give them their privacy and go mingle like we said we were going to." Knowing that they were married, she didn't feel comfortable eavesdropping on their private time together, especially since Amanda had told him that they'd been deprived of their honeymoon and had been playing catch-up ever since.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Efraim said following Francine out the front door but he had firmly in his mind that he needed to have a talk with Lee Stetson about how a senior agent should act with a junior agent.

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An hour later, Francine and Efraim returned to find Lee and Amanda sitting on the couch, Amanda legs draped across Lee's lap and her right arm on his shoulder as they both perused the list of participants in the retreat looking for anything that might jump out at either of them.

"Hi Guys," Amanda said briefly glancing toward the door before turning back to the open file on her lap.

"Hi," Francine said a little surprised that they hadn't made a move to change their position since Efraim was there and they'd made it clear that they didn't want her telling anyone about their marriage.

'Is anything jumping out at you here from the last time you dealt with the Brigade?" Amanda asked her husband as she idly played with his hair with her right hand while flipping through the file with her left.

"There are a couple of names that look vaguely familiar. I'll get Billy to have someone run a check on them."

"Stetson," Efraim said, "Can I talk to you in private?"

"No need, Efraim," Lee replied without looking up. "There's nothing you can say to me that you can't say in front of my wife," Lee added with a smile at Amanda. He'd won their last battle and Amanda, tired of fighting had relented. He had made a good point. Efraim was going to find out sooner or later. It's not like they were going to be able to hide her pregnancy anyway.

"Cure, Stetson. Real cute," Efraim said.

"I'm not being cute."

"I don't know about that," Amanda said. "I think you're pretty cute."

'Thanks," Lee said. Efraim looked a Lee with a look of pure fury on his face.

"Efraim, why don't you just say what's on your mind already?" Amanda said.

"Ok, fine, have it your way," He said. "I'm concerned about whatever this thing is you two have going on.

"What thing?"Amanda said purposely being obtuse.

"Oh, come on, Amanda. Francine and I heard the two of you when you were in bed earlier."

"We weren't in bed," Lee said with a grin at Amanda.

"Nope," Amanda agreed.

"Oh, come off it, you two! We heard distinct sounds coming from your room that could only be the sounds of people having sex. Didn't we, Francine?"

"Leave me out of this," Francine said. "As soon as I realized what was going on, I suggested we get out of here."

"Oh, that," Amanda said. "Well, that's true. but we just never actually made it to the bed, did we, Lee?"

"No, we didn't," Lee replied with a mischievous grin at wife.

"And shame on you for listening to what should be private time between a husband and wife," Amanda said.

Efraim looked at her in shock. "Amanda, you do realize that this job doesn't require you to play_ all_ the parts of your cover?"

Amanda glared at Efraim incredulously. "Efraim, do you think I'm an idiot? Of course, I know that. Who said this has anything to do with our cover?"

"She makes a good point, Efraim," Lee said. "You've had her in at least a dozen of your training classes. You should know she's smarter than that."

"Lee, you are the senior agent, Amanda's still a freshman and if there's any sexual misconduct going on here, as her training supervisor I am obligated to report it to our superiors." Lee laughed at Efraim's outrage, however, Amanda became outraged herself.

Amanda tossed the file aside, jumped from Lee's lap and pointed a finger in her trainer's face. "Listen, there is no sexual misconduct going on here. That would require there to be coercion or harassment on Lee's part and it would require that I be an unwilling party to it. Aside from which sexual harassment is defined as an unwelcome sexual advance. Let me assure you that I am not in the least unwilling nor are Lee's advances unwelcome. I am an grown woman and who I choose to sleep with is none of your damn business! I will have sex with my husband any damn time I choose and anywhere I choose because I happen to enjoy it!"

"Ooh," Lee said with a chuckle. "I guess she set you straight, didn't she? She just likes sleeping with me."

"Right, because you're her "husband" Efraim said with a snort.

Lee rose to his feet to stand behind Amanda, "I am." He reached for Amanda's left hand with his own holding them both up for him to see. "You'll notice these rings are not Agency-issue? Come on, Efraim, you used to work in fabrications. You should know from the time you spent there that these aren't the cheap crap they normally hand out. Look at her engagement ring, if nothing else. That is a two-carat diamond."

"So, you honestly expect me to believe that the two of you are actually married?"

"That's what we're saying, Efraim," Amanda said as she leaned back into her husband's arms.

"Right, You, Amanda King, getting Lee Stetson, chronic playboy to settle down and marry you. That'll be the day," He scoffed.

'Fine, don't believe us," Lee said as he flung himself back on the couch, pulling his wife back into his lap to her earlier position. "Go ahead and tell Billy what you heard today. I doubt he'll be shocked, He's known that we're a couple for months."

"Actually," Francine said. "He's known for longer than that. When I was in his office yesterday and the subject of your very public fight came up, he said something about noticing you hadn't been out with anyone but Amanda in close to two years.

"It's true. October 1985 is when we started seeing each other exclusively," Lee said. ""You know, Efraim, it doesn't matter if you believe it or not. We're just trying to come clean with everyone. We're both damn tired of hiding our feelings for each other."

"This isn't getting us anywhere," Amanda said. "If he doesn't want to believe us, he doesn't want to believe us. We're wasting time. We've all got work to do," She said picking up the folder she'd tossed aside earlier.

"Yeah, we should all get our minds back on this case," Francine concurred as she began to fill them in on what she and Efraim had gathered from the few people they'd met on their walk through the park.


	15. Chapter 15

The two pairs of agents sat in the main room of their cabin discussing their next move. "The welcome dinner-mixer thing starts in about twenty minutes," Lee said. "Since there's no phone in here, I'm going to head out to the car and try to give Billy a call if I can get a signal out here. I want to have him do some background on some of these familiar names."

"We'll go ahead and head down to the dining room then," Francine said. "It's probably a good idea that all four of us don't arrive together anyway. We don't want to give anyone the impression that we didn't just meet today."

"Good plan," Amanda said as she rose from her comfortable perch on her husband's lap.

"Come on, Efraim, we should go," Francine said reluctantly not looking forward to having to publicly pretend to be Beaman's wife, but she was a professional. She could do this.

"Give me just a second to grab my jacket. I'll meet you out there" Efraim said as he left the main room for the one he was sharing with Francine.

As they headed outside, Francine hissed at Lee and Amanda, "What the hell is going on here? You two begged me to keep your secret, now you're just blurting it out to Efraim."

"We're tired of hiding, Francine," Lee said as he slid into the driver's seat of the 'Vette to make his call.

"Besides," Amanda said. "It's not like we're going to be able to hide for very long anyway. Once news gets around The Agency that I'm pregnant, everyone's going to know right away who my baby's father is."

"You have a good point there," Francine said. "That fight you two had will make that plain as day, but It's very obvious that Efraim didn't believe you. "

'Well, You didn't seem too convinced of it either at the hospital yesterday either so what changed your mind?"

"I did what you suggested. You were right. It's all right there. Your marriage license is public record. I think Efraim's going to have to see it to believe it too," Francine said before turning to Lee and adding, "He seems to think you're just using this undercover assignment to coerce Amanda into bed with you."

"Francine, you should know better than anyone that I've never had to coerce a woman into my bed," Lee said as Francine nodded in agreement. "In fact, the first time we spent the night together, Amanda was the one who jumped me." He then turned his attention to the phone.

"Now who's giving away all our secrets?" Amanda teased.

"You jumped him?"Efraim scoffed as he joined them outside.

"Shouldn't you two be going?"Amanda said frostily to Efraim

"Yes, we should," Efraim said with a glare at Lee before turning to Francine and wrapping his arm around her waist. "Come along, Darling, shall we go?" he said with a grin.

Francine had no choice but to play along since they were out in the open now. "Why, yes, Sugar, we shall," she said pasting on a bright smile before hissing in his ear as they walked off together, "You're getting a little too much enjoyment out of this."

He laughed heartily just playing it off like a doting husband laughing at his wife's jokes. "That is a wicked sense of humor you've got, Honey."

Amanda couldn't help but laugh and said, "This is going to be an interesting five days."

"Thanks, Billy," Lee was saying as he wrapped up his phone conversation. "It'll be really entertaining to see which one of them tries to kill the other one first," said with a laugh. "Come along, Darling, shall we go?" he said mocking Efraim as he extended his hand to his wife.

Amanda giggle and replied, "Why, yes, Sugar, we shall." as she accepted his offered hand. She leaned in close to him and whispered, "So, what'd Billy say?"

"He's going to run down those names for me," he said low against her ear as if whispering an endearment. Amanda shuddered a little at his breath in her ear. She couldn't believe that just having him that close talking about mundane work stuff could elicit such a response in her. Lee noticing her response took the opportunity to nibble at her ear a little causing her to sigh at the contact.

"Hey, now, there'll be plenty of time for that later," a male voice said from slightly ahead of them. They turned to the right find another couple exiting a different cabin. "That is, if you can still stand the sight of each other by the time this whole thing is done. Right, Honey?" the man said with a squeeze of his wife's shoulders.

"You'll have to ignore my cynical husband. Irene Patterson," the woman said introducing herself. "And this is my husband, Jim."

"Nice to meet you," Lee said. "Lee and Amanda Stetson."

"Pleasure," Amanda said with a smile at being openly called Amanda Stetson.

"Now, Honey," Jim Patterson said as the two couples began walking together. "I'm not being cynical. I'm just being realistic. This is our third one of these and by the time they're done, there's always a couple or two that are headed for divorce court."

"Are they always held here?" Amanda inquired her interrogation techniques kicking in.

"Oh, no," Irene answered. "Different location every time, different tasks. That's what truly makes it a challenge. And it's one we welcome. After twelve years of marriage, it really helps us keep the togetherness going, working together to overcome the obstacles thrown at us."

"How lovely," Amanda said. "This should be a piece of cake for us then, Honey, We overcome obstacles together at work all the time."

"You work together too? That must get tiresome, seeing each other all the time," Jim said which earned him a playful smack from his wife.

"Oh no, we love it. We're documentary filmmakers, so we get to travel and see new things, meet new people all the time. This is just a vacation for us, but we'd love to get permission to do a documentary on this.

"That's a great idea, Sweetheart," Lee said proud of Amanda's ingenuity. "If it's as great as they say it is, then more people should know about it."

"I don't know that that's such a great idea. The leader of the group doesn't like a lot of publicity. It's more word of mouth."

"Oh, I don't know, Honey," Irene said. "It's a documentary. It's not like broadcasting it all over the news or anything. I bet David would agree to it."

"David?" Amanda said.

"David Chambers," Irene said. "He's the one who puts these things together. Great guy."

"Maybe you could introduce us and we could ask him?" Amanda suggested. "I mean, the worst he could do is say no, right?"

"Sure, the if he says no, no harm done," Lee said trying to make it sound like they could care less. "Lord knows, after taking this time off work, there's going to be plenty of work for us at the office when we go back on Monday."

"Absolutely," Amanda said. "The boss sure keeps up hopping." They had reached the entrance to the park's restaurant.

"Here we are," Jim Patterson said as they entered the building. "Oh, and there's David now. Come one, we'll introduce you."

Lee and Amanda glanced over the direction Jim had pointed and found that the man in question was already engaged in conversation with Efraim and Francine. "Great," Lee muttered under his breath.

"David," Jim said. "There's someone I'd like you to meet. This is Lee and Amanda Stetson. They're one of our new couples this year." Efraim gave Lee and Amanda a quizzical look wondering what they were up to.

"Nice to meet you," Chambers said. "And this is my lovely wife, Candace. We were just chatting with another of our new couples. Mr. and Mrs..."

"Bormann. I'm Efraim and this," he said his hand on Francine's hip as he grinned at her, "Is my beautiful bride, Francine."

"Oh, that's so sweet of you to say, Dear," Francine said playing her cover perfectly. "You're going t o make me blush." She looked at Efraim with a smile, but with murder in her eyes.

"Nice to meet you," Irene Patterson said. "Have you met the Stetson?"

"Yes, We met just today," Francine said. "They're our cabin-mates."

"Why don't we all get a table together and get to know one another?"David Chambers said with an appreciative glance at Amanda as he gestured to a nearby empty table.

"That'd be nice," Lee said wrapping his arm around Amanda's waist to guide her to the table Chambers had indicated with a suspicious glare, not liking one bit the way the other man was leering at his wife and liking it even less when the man positioned himself directly to Amanda's left. "You know what, Honey, we should probably switch sides, otherwise we'll be knocking elbows all night with me being left-handed and you being right-handed."

"You're absolutely right, Sweetheart," she said as she rose to switch seats with Lee placing her next to Irene Patterson instead grateful for her husband's creativity. David Chambers' looks were making her massively uncomfortable.

"Better?"Lee said with a smile.

"Yes, much," she said linking her hand with his.

"So, how did you guys decide who gets which room?" Jim Patterson asked. "Did you duke it out or flip a coin?"

"Actually," Francine said seeing an opportunity to pay Efraim back and seizing it. "It wasn't that difficult a decision. Efraim and I have been having a few problems..." she lowered her voice to just above a whisper, "...in the bedroom, you know. I think it's that whole seven-year itch rearing its ugly head." Lee and Amanda were both trying hard to stifle their laughter.

She delighted in look of fury that crossed Efraim's face briefly before he recovered and said, "But that's why we're here, isn't it, my love? Trying to recapture the old spark that brought us together in the first place," He squeezed her hand affectionately.

"Besides," Francine said ignoring Efraim's last comment. "The Stetsons told us when we first met them that they're still newlyweds, so we thought it was only fair to let them have the double bed, since we wouldn't be using it for anything but sleeping anyway." She fixed Efraim with an icy stare.

"Oh, you're newlyweds?" Candace Chambers said to Lee and Amanda. "How long have you been married?"

"Four months," Lee and Amanda said in unison then looked at each other and laughed.

"Oh, how wonderful! We don't get newlyweds at these things very often."

As other couples starting filling in the other tables in the room, Chambers rose to his feet clanging his spoon against his water glass to quiet the room down. "If I could get everyone's attention, please!" When the room was quiet and all eyes were one him, he continued. "First of all, I'd like to welcome all of our couples, both new and old. For those of you who haven't looked at your agendas in detail, I wanted to remind everyone that tonight's feast will be the only catered meal until the closing dinner on Sunday. The rest of the week you will all have to fend for yourselves, just like you would at home. You'll find that all of your cabins are equipped with full kitchens. You'll find everything you need in them except food. There are several shopping outlets just off the highway leading into the park and you'll have time between events throughout the week for free time to do your shopping, cooking and whatever else you want to do. Our real events don't get started until tomorrow morning. So, enjoy tonight's meal!" He nodded to the catering staff at the kitchen door before resuming his seat.

"Well, I certainly hope one of you knows how to cook," Efraim said. "My little muffin here may be beautiful, but she's an absolute train wreck in the kitchen. Her talents are better suited to _other_ rooms of the house." He couldn't resist getting in a little dig to pay her back for the bedroom crack she'd made.

"So, Mr. and Mrs. Stetson," David Chambers said. "My wife was quite right earlier. We don't get many newlyweds here. Most of our couples join these events very much like the Bormanns here, as a last-ditch effort to save their marriages or rekindle the old spark."

"I was curious about that myself," Francine said. "Seeing the way you two look at each other, it doesn't seem that you need any help in that area." She grinned at Lee and Amanda.

"And we'd very much like to keep it that way," Lee said with a smile at his wife.

"Truthfully, it was my idea," Amanda said. "This is a second marriage for me and the first one ended badly. Now with Lee, I feel like I have a second chance to do it right."

"I don't blame you there," Irene said. "You have quite a handsome husband. I wouldn't want to let that one go either."

"Irene, really," her husband said.

"Oh, come on. I may be married, but I'm not dead," She teased. "Besides, it's not like I haven't noticed you noticing Mrs. Bormann here," she added with a glance at Francine across the table from her.

"You'll have to excuse them," Candace Chambers said. "They're always like this."

"Yes, but we have a strictly "look, but don't touch" policy," Jim said. "It's like being on a diet. You can look all you want at the dessert cart, but as long as you don't partake, it's harmless."

"Besides that, it helps keep the spark alive," Irene said.

"I don't know about that," Lee said. "I haven't had eyes for anyone but Amanda for a long time, long before we were married." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

A waiter arrived carrying a decanter of wine and offered it around the table. When he got to Amanda, she said, "No, thank you."

"You don't drink, Mrs. Stetson?" Irene said.

"None for me either," Lee said to the waiter before Amanda could answer not wanting the other couples to ask too many questions about why she wasn't drinking. "Neither of us are very big drinkers. We prefer to remain clear-headed when we're together. It's so much better that way," he said with an impish grin at his wife. _Nice cover_, Francine thought knowing the real reason that Amanda had turned down the wine. She raised her glass slightly toward Lee for his quick thinking.

"So," Irene said. "The Stetsons were telling us on the walk up here that they're documentary filmmakers and they were thinking that our little adventures might make a good project for them."

"Is that why you're really here?" David Chambers asked eyeing them suspiciously.

"Oh, no not at all," Lee said. "This is simply for us. We just thought this thing was such a great idea to promote togetherness for married couples that more people should know about it."

"Well, I'll tell you what. I'll think about it, but you should think about it too. We haven't even gotten started yet. There are many couples who don't survive our challenges and never come back. I suggest you give it a couple of days and see if this is still something that you want to promote."

"That's fair," Lee said. He glanced at Amanda, knowing that they were thinking the same thing. He hadn't outright said no, which surprised both of them.

The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful, after dinner they mingled with other couples, Lee trying in particular to meet with the ones whose names had struck him when reading the list of participants. As the evening would down, they caught up with Francine and Efraim. "Listen, Amanda and I are going to head down the road to find this shopping area Chambers was talking about so we don't starve the rest of the week." He glanced around and noticed there were too many people around to discuss anything else.

"Ok," Francine said, "But who's going to do the cooking. Efraim was right, I can't cook to save my life."

"It's ok, Francine," Amanda said. "I can cook and so can Lee. We can take turns. We'll see you later."

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Lee and Amanda walked into their cabin later arms laden with grocery bags to find Efraim and Francine having a blazing screaming match.

"What was that crack about other rooms of the house supposed to mean?" Francine demanded.

"Well, you're the one who started it talking about bedroom problems, like you'd even you'd even know anything about it!"

"You're right, Efraim, I wouldn't and I never have any intention of knowing, no matter how much you use this cover assignment to get all touchy-feely, which by the way, I don't appreciate!"

"Speaking of using cover assignments," Efraim said gesturing toward the kitchen area where Lee and Amanda were putting away grocery items.

"Hey, leave us out of this," Lee said. "I'm sure you noticed this earlier, but neither Amanda or I have any problem playing our cover convincingly."

"Yeah, I noticed, Stetson! I also noticed you're using your real name. What the hell were you thinking in doing that? Do you know what could happen if you get found out? Not to mention the jobs as documentary filmmakers for IFF."

"Here, let me help you with this stuff," Francine said as she jumped in to unpack grocery bags.

"Efraim, weren't you paying attention earlier," Amanda said. "We're not going to get found out. Our marriage is not a cover. I really _am_ Mrs. Lee Stetson. Playing ourselves is going to be a lot more convincing that some made-up identity."

"Oh, not this again," Efraim said in frustration.

"Yes, this again," Lee said. "I don't know how many times or how many different ways I can say it to convince you. Amanda _is_ my wife. If they check us out, they'll find out that we were married four months ago right here in Marion just like we said. And you know as well as I do that if they check out IFF, all they'll find is the film company cover." Lee crumpled an empty grocery bag and tossed it violently into the trash can.

"Sweetheart, calm down," Amanda said laying a soothing hand on his arm. "Getting worked up like this really isn't going to do anybody any good."

"Amanda, would you lay off already," Efraim said. "It's just the four of us now. There's no need for the pet names in here."

"No, there's not a need for it, maybe just a desire for it," Amanda said with a grin at her husband as she kissed him firmly, not caring that Efraim was watching. Lee reached for the back of her neck and pulled her close to deepen their kiss.

"Would you two knock it off already!"Efraim yelled while Francine just laughed at his growing frustration.

Lee and Amanda ended their kiss, but didn't pull apart. Lee still with his hand on Amanda's neck pulled down on her turtleneck and said, "Wow, that really looks bad, doesn't it?"

Francine glanced over and noticed the now uncovered hickey on Amanda's neck. "Oh my God, Did Lee do that to you?" She said.

"Yeah," Amanda said to Francine then to her husband. "And don't think you won't get paid back for it."

"Oh?" Lee said. "I'd love to see you try."

"You just better sleep with one eye open, Scarecrow," she teased.

"That would mean we'd have to sleep and that's not exactly what I had on my mind."

"Well, hold that thought for now until we get this all taken care of," she said as she returned to the task of putting away groceries. She, Lee and Francine chatted about what went where while Efraim silently fumed at the interaction that had just taken place.

With their task completed, Amanda searched the cupboards. "What are you looking for?"Francine asked.

"Just trying to get the lay of the land," Amanda said. "That and find drinking glasses. Aha," she said as she found what she was looking for and took one out and poured herself a glass of milk then reached for her purse to pull out her prescription bottle.

"What's that?" Efraim said.

"Just a prescription," Amanda said as she extracted a pill from the bottle before stowing it back in her purse. "Maybe you hadn't heard, but I did just get out of the hospital yesterday."

"Yeah, but I heard it was just due to exhaustion." he replied. "Why would that require a prescription?"

"Actually, Efraim, I was there," Lee said. "It was a combination of exhaustion and malnutrition so they prescribed her a vitamin supplement to get her back up to par." It was partially the truth. Lee wanted Efraim to know they were married, but neither of them was quite ready to broadcast that they were expecting, not until they knew for sure that everything was ok.

"Oh, I didn't realize," Efraim said his voice calmer now. "Are you ok, Amanda?"

Amanda finished her milk and rinsed out the glass. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine, Efraim. I was never sick to start with. I was just neglecting to take care of myself while I was trying to take care of my sick kids and it took its toll."

"Maybe your "husband" should have helped with that," Efraim said sarcastically.

"He did, otherwise I'd have been in worse shape than I was. Plus, he's the one who took me to the hospital when I needed to go, along with my son, Jamie, when his fever spiked to 102."

"Lee Stetson looking after sick kids. That'll be the day," he snorted.

"It's a fact, Efraim," Francine interjected. "I was there and witnessed it myself."

"Look, Efraim," Lee said. "Can we just talk about this another time? It's been a long day," He said reaching for Amanda's hand and leading her toward their room.

"Where are you going?" Efraim said. "We need to discuss this case."

"Well, you wasted too much time arguing. It's too late now. We can discuss it in the morning. Right now, the only thing I'm interested in is taking my wife to bed," Lee said as he and Amanda entered their room and slammed the door behind them leaving a dumfounded Efraim in their wake.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's note: Sorry for the delays in posting updates on all three of my current stories. I have been on vacation in Reno, NV for the USBC Open Championship with just my laptop and hotel wifi. Now, that I'm home and still have until Saturday before I go back to work, I should be able to get caught up on all three again. I have been trying to reply to all the reviews that I've been receiving, but it's been a bit of a challenge to keep up with them between participating in the bowling tournament, sight-setting, gambling and shopping. If I missed anyone, I apologize and want everyone to know that all reviews are greatly appreciated.

On an additional note, the writers of the show made a factual error in "Do You Take this Spy" when they indicated that Marion, VA was only 12 miles away when in reality, it's over 200 miles away from DC. Just for continuity's sake and because it fits better with plans for this story, I'm sticking with the show's error rather that the actual distance.

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The following morning, Lee was awakened when Amanda rushed out of bed. He protested at her side of the bed being empty. He walked into the bathroom to find her heaving over the toilet. He knelt beside her as he'd done at the house, holding her hair away from her face and rubbing her back until her nausea subsided. "Are you ok?" he asked as she leaned against him for support.

"Yeah, just one of the joys of pregnancy," she said. "I'm fine, really. Just need to get something in my stomach. That usually helps ease it."

"I'll fix you something," he said kissing her temple softly. "Are you ok to get up?"

"Yeah," she said. Lee rose from his position on the floor then extended a hand to her to help her up as well. "I'll be in there in a minute. I just want to brush my teeth to get this taste out of my mouth."

Lee walked into the kitchen to find Francine making coffee. "Good morning, Lee," she said.

"Hi," he said as he began making preparations for breakfast cracking eggs into a mixing bowl. "You hungry?"

"You're cooking?" Francine said. "Since when do you eat breakfast?"

"I don't, but Amanda does," He said. "I just figured while I was at it, I'd cook for everybody." He placed a skillet on the stove laying out strips of bacon in it to start cooking and another skillet that he poured cooking oil into.

"Where is Amanda anyway? Did you wear her out or something?" She teased.

"No, I did not wear her out," Lee said in frustration as he scrambled the eggs while waiting for the oil to heat up to cook them in. "She's just not feeling well."

"I'm fine, Lee," Amanda said as she entered the room. "Like I said, it's just a normal part of pregnancy. It'll pass." She reached into one of the cabinets and reached for the box of saltines she'd bought last night knowing that she might need them. She started slowly nibbling at a cracker while she watched Lee cooking.

"That doesn't mean I can't still worry about you. I don't want to see you end up in the hospital again."

"That's why you tried to get out of this assignment, isn't it?"Francine said.

"You know about that?"Lee asked her.

"Billy told me about it yesterday. Of course, that was before I knew that the reason is because you're gonna be a dad. Wow, that sounds so weird to say. Lee Stetson, a dad."

"Yeah, I know," Lee said with smile. "I'd have never thought it possible, but I couldn't be happier," he said as he reached over and lightly caressed Amanda's stomach before turning back to his cooking.

"When did you try to get us out of this assignment?" Amanda asked.

"The night you were admitted to the hospital. I called Billy as soon as you told me that you're pregnant. I didn't want to risk putting you or our baby in any kind of danger."

"You didn't tell Billy about the baby, did you?" Amanda asked a hint of panic in her voice.

"No, I thought it would be better if we tell him we're married first before dropping that bomb on him. I just told him that you were in the hospital, but I only told him it was due to exhaustion and malnutrition so he didn't feel that it warranted pulling you off this case."

"Actually, Lee, even her pregnancy wouldn't necessarily warrant it," Francine said. "Not unless she was considered high-risk. Being Billy's assistant, I've seen enough of those types of requests to know. Now, when she gets into her third trimester, she'd be pulled off field duty, but until then as long as she's healthy until then, there shouldn't be a problem."

"Hmm," Lee said. "I'm not sure how I feel about be pregnant wife being on active field duty."

"Lee, I'm perfectly healthy," Amanda said. "Besides, we're already making progress on this case. If I thought that being here would in any way put our baby at risk, I would back out. I promise."

"Ok," he said as he began dishing up plates of scrambled eggs and bacon and the three of them began discussing who the most likely candidates were on the suspected weapons deal.

Efraim entered the kitchen a short time later to find Francine and Amanda at the kitchen table eating breakfast while Lee leaned against the kitchen counter discussing their case.

"I'm telling you, I think that Chambers guy is in this thing up to his eyeballs," Lee was saying.

"I disagree," Amanda said. "If he really had something to hide, he'd have just said no when we asked about making a documentary. Instead, he said he would think about it."

"Maybe he only said that in order to not make us suspicious if would have said no."

"I'm sorry, Lee. I just don't see it," Amanda said. "He seemed too cooperative."

"Well, then how do you explain that he basically ignored his wife? He's clearly not worried about the marriage aspect of this gig. He spent all night looking at you. Trust me, with what you and I have been through the past few days, I can tell you if the guy really cared about taking care of his marriage, he'd be paying more attention to his own wife instead of mine."

"Are you sure that you're not just looking to make him the bad guy because he was leering at Amanda all night," Francine said.

"Ok, I admit that I don't like that the bastard spent the majority of the evening undressing my wife with his eyes, but that's not the only thing. This guy is the leader of this group. He's the one who organizes it, plans all the events, rents the space for these retreats…"

"Actually, he's not," Efraim said. "Candace is. I noticed that same thing that you did last night. That Chambers was paying more attention to Amanda than her and it wasn't just Amanda either. He was acting that way toward several of the women although he seemed to be paying the most attention to Amanda. So the first chance I got, I cornered his wife."

"You cornered her? Don't you think that was dangerous? You could have put her on the defensive and made her suspicious of us," Francine said.

"No, I don't think it was dangerous at all," Efraim said. "Because you gave me the perfect excuse last night with the insults you were slinging at me. All I had to do was pretend to commiserate with her about being in an unhappy marriage where your spouse doesn't know you're alive and she couldn't wait to tell me all about her husband and the group."

"Efraim, if you're hungry, there's still scrambled eggs and bacon on the stove," Amanda said. "You should eat while you tell us what you found out."

"Please, tell me you cooked it and not Francine," he said warily.

"Neither, actually," Lee answered. "I cooked. Amanda wasn't feeling well this morning, you weren't up yet, and we all know how hopeless Francine is in the kitchen so breakfast fell to me."

"Hey!"Francine said.

"_You _cooked," Efraim said skeptically.

"Yes, Efraim, he did," Amanda said. "I was surprised the first time that I learned he could cook too."

"If you don't trust my cooking, fine, don't eat it," Lee said. "Just think about this. I've had to feed myself for damn near twenty years before Amanda and I got married."

"Besides that, he's not much of a breakfast eater anyway. I've been trying since the day we said "I do" to change that and nothing has worked so far."

"I get the feeling that you mother is jumping on that bandwagon too," Lee said with a chuckle. Lee turned to the stove and dished up a plate for Efraim.

"Can you two just give up on the marriage facade once and for all. I know you're both getting a big kick out of it because it gives you an excuse to sleep together, but enough is enough!"

Francine couldn't hold her tongue any longer when confronted with his endless stubbornness. "You're right, Efraim. Enough _is_ enough," She snapped. "They're telling you the truth. They really _are_ married. I've seen the proof of it myself. Now, can we move on and you finish telling us what you found out from Candace Chambers?"

"Here," Lee said as he handed Efraim his plate.

"Thanks," Efraim said as he sat next to Francine. "You've seen proof?" He said to her.

"Yeah, Right here in Marion. Their marriage license is on file at the county courthouse, over four months ago." Lee and Amanda both gave him looks to triumph.

Efraim turned to them incredulously. "You're really married?"

"Yes, we are," Lee said as he placed a hand on Amanda's shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

"Hey, you can do better than that," Amanda said as she leaned her head back. Lee obliged and kissed her softly. "So, Efraim, you were saying..." Amanda prompted him to continue.

"Oh, right. Well, apparently, Chambers has had a wandering eye for years. She's caught him cheating at least twice and she has a pre-nup that gives her a massive payoff if she can prove infidelity."

"Interesting," Francine said. "So, if she's already got the proof that he's been unfaithful, why doesn't she just cut her losses?"

"She's crazy in love with the bastard even though he treats her like crap. She's the one who started this group the first time she caught him cheating along with the Pattersons, the Murdochs and the Kleins as a way to try to get her husband's attention. They were all friends at the same country club and all had marital issues of one kind or another. It expanded over the years to the size that it is now. From what she was saying, he likes to play the big shot and is endlessly consumed with his image. Even though he plays around, he still wants her to be his trophy wife and doting mother to his children. He doesn't want it known that they have less than a perfect marriage so she lets him take the credit for running this thing with the understanding that if he tries to divorce her or publicly flaunts his affairs, she'll expose him for the fraud he is and take him to the cleaners."

"Wow, that's just so sad for her, to be in love with a man who couldn't care less," Amanda said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Lee immediately caught on to the reason for Amanda's tone. He sat next to her, squeezed her hand said, "Hey, you don't have to worry about that. You're not married to Joe anymore."

"I know that," she said with a smile at him as she kissed him lightly. "It's just that this whole undercover assignment on top of Joe dropping the kids off with no warning, then the fight we had with him at the hospital...it's...well, it's brought up some painful memories."

"I suppose it doesn't help that you practically had to threaten him to get him to take the boys for the rest of the week like he was supposed to."

"It worked out for the best, though. You got to spend some time with the boys and in spite of me being hospitalized over it, some good did come out of it," she said. "I mean, look at how you bonded with Phillip."

"Yeah," he said with a smile as he reflected no Phillip's statement with a smile. He had to admit, he'd liked hearing it, but was also worried that that sentiment would change as soon as they dropped the bomb on the kids that they were married. "But Joe wasn't too happy about that one."

"It's his own fault for acting the way he has. He wants to be around for the fun stuff with the boys, but not the serious stuff. He does the weekend Dad stuff, taking the camping or fishing or to amusement parks, but he's not there for the day-to-day stuff like when they get sick or get a bad report card or get in a fight with another kid at school. You, on the other hand, are there for that stuff."

"Is this about what your son said when I was at the house the other night?"Francine inquired. "About wanting Lee to be his dad?"

"You were there for that part?"Amanda said.

"Yeah," she said with a nod. "Lee was having a hell of a time getting him to eat, but he never gave up until he got his way. Then your mother made a crack about your ex not being around."

"I'm going to have to have a talk with my mother regarding what she says about Joe in front of the boys," Amanda said.

"I don't think it matters anymore, Amanda," Lee said. "Phillip already thinks he doesn't give a crap the way he dumped them on you when they were sick. Jamie probably feels the same way and just hasn't said anything. You know how Jamie is. He holds a lot of stuff inside."

"Lind of like someone else I know," Amanda said with a mischievous smile at her husband.

"Not to interrupt this warm and fuzzy moment here, but we really should get back to discussing the case," Efraim said though in the last few minutes he felt a little comforted knowing that there was more to the relationship between Lee and Amanda than he'd thought. He'd been concerned given Lee's reputation that his trainee would become just another notch on his bedpost, but that seemed to be as far from the truth as possible if he'd actually married her and was taking time to bond with her kids.

"Yeah, You're right. With the intel you gathered, that gives us some more info to go on," He rose from his seat long enough to fetch the file they'd been looking through last night. "You said the Murdoch and that Kleins helped start up this group?"

"Yeah," Efraim said. "Ten years ago."

"Something on your mind, Sweetheart?" Amanda said. She had worked with him long enough that she could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

"Yeah," he said thumbing through the file. "Remember I told you when I was in West Germany in '77 I ran into some of these Eastern Freedom Brigade wackos?"

"I remember," Amanda said..

"I'd been sent there because there were rumors that there was going to be a major assault on the political officials during the International Association of Athletics Federation's World Cup was held there that year. Since it was in Düsseldorf, not Berlin, The Brigade had planned to make their move while the majority of security would be focused on the stadium. We managed to stop three assassination attempts and capture about half a dozen guys involved, but we never could get them to fully disclose who they were working for. We only got a couple of names. "Those names I had Billy check on from this list..." he paused as he pointed out names in the file, "Robert Murdoch..." he paused again as he found the other name he was looking for, "...Stephen Klein. I'm pretty sure both of them were there in '77 when I was there or at least were involved."

"You think these are the same guys?"Francine asked.

"Might be worth investigating," Lee said. "I don't think it's coincidence that the attempted assassinations happened around the same time this group was started."

"Hmmm," Efraim said thoughtfully. "I wonder if this is isn't somehow connected to the Le Belle Discotheque bombing last year by the Libyans."

"Oh, right, They sent you over there for that last April," Lee said. "You think they might be working with the Libyans?"

"Not only that, but I wonder if it's connected to the 1972 incident at the Olympics. None of us were working for The Agency then, but I've read the case report on it."

"Yeah, but didn't they figure out that it was orchestrated by the Palestinian group Black September?" Amanda said. "I read the case report too and it seems it's a bit of a stretch to connect all of those events when the '72 hostage crises were about the ongoing feud between the Palestinians and the Israelis."

"I'm with Amanda on this one," Francine said. "I don't think the Olympic disaster is in any way related, although, I can see the connection between the disco bombing and what we've got going on now since we already have an idea that last year's bombing was organized by someone within the Libyan Embassy in East Germany."

"Yeah, Makes me wonder if they didn't have some inside help," Lee said glancing at his watch. "If there is a connection, then The Brigade has stepped up their game more than we knew about. We've got a little over two hours before today's events get started and we have to start playing our covers again. I'd like to check in with Billy again before then."

"You know, we've actually got enough time to drive back to the office and talk to him in person," Amanda said.

Lee looked at her noticing the pensive expression on her face. "What's on your mind?"

"I'd like to do a little digging on the computer on these two guys."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Efraim said. "We shouldn't be seen leaving here too much or it will look suspicious."

"All four of us don't have to go, Efraim," Francine said. "They can go while you and I try to dig up more dirt from this end through interviews of the people who've been around this retreat for a while. Besides, no one's better with The Agency's computer system than Amanda."

"Thanks, Francine," Amanda said.

Lee handed Francine the file and said, "Here, you may need this. It has a list of all the participants and how many years each of the couples have participated. Might give you a better shovel if you start with the ones who've been doing this the longest."

"Exactly my thought," Francine said. "Ready to get your game face on?" she said to Efraim as she rose from her seat.

"Sure am," he said as he rose from his seat and slipped an arm around Francine's waist.

"Save it until we get out there," Francine said.

"Aw, but Honey..." he pouted.

"Would you stop that already? I _do_ have a boyfriend, remember?"

"Who, that Stone guy? You're still seeing him?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes," she snarled. "Why?"

"I just find it hard to believe that you'd give him another chance after he broke your heart leaving you standing at the altar."

"Like I said, it's none of your business," Francine snapped.

"Listen, we should get going, if we're going to have time to get to the office and back. You two kids behave yourselves," he said with a chuckle. He couldn't help but see a little bit of the same jealousy in Efraim that he used to feel himself with Amanda when she was dating other people.

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Lee had called Billy from the car on the drive back to Georgetown to update him on the plan and let him know that they'd be arriving soon. Once they got to The Agency, Lee and Amanda went their separate ways, Amanda to start work at the computer in the Q Bureau while Lee downstairs to Billy's office. When he stepped into the bullpen, he noticed that the chatter in the room had suddenly stopped indicating that his co-workers were still gossiping about his and Amanda's very public argument. "Somebody have something to say?" he said with a glare as he continued toward Billy's office.

Billy, having her Lee's bellow poked his head out the door of his office and said, "Come on it, Scarecrow." When Lee entered, he then shouted to the bullpen, "The rest of you quit gawking and get back to work!"

"I'm guessing they're still talking about us?" Lee said.

"What did you really expect, Lee? The two of you made quite the spectacle of yourselves. This is hottest gossip floating around the bullpen since Francine got back together with the guy who jilted her at the altar. How are the two of you doing by the way?"

"We're fine," he said absently fiddling with the wedding band on his left hand. This action didn't go unnoticed by Billy.

"So, I take it the two of you are ok with playing husband and wife?"Billy said hopefully. He had longed to see the two of them settle down together ever since he realized that they were an item. Of course, he'd known long before they'd started seeing each other that the two of them were painfully in love, but were both to stubborn to admit it for a long time. He'd been hoping that by assigning them to this case and pretending to be married, that it would get them closer to getting married for real.

"Yeah," he said with a smile.

"I don't want you to think I'm prying, but you and I have been friends for a long time. Do you mind telling me what the fight was really about?"

Lee sighed and said, "I'd love to tell you. In fact, Amanda and I have some news that we'd like to share with you, but I'd rather not do it without her here."

"News?" Billy said inquisitively. "Does this have anything to do with the diamond ring that Amanda chucked at you the other day?"

"Diamond ring?" Lee said nervously.

"Relax, Lee. I think I'm the only one who caught it. Nobody else was close enough to see what was on that chain."

"Look, Billy, I really don't feel comfortable discussing this with you without Amanda," Lee said.

"It's ok, Lee," Amanda said from the doorway having just entered the room. She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. "It's time that Billy knew the truth. We should have confided in him from the start. Maybe if we had, these last few months wouldn't have been so hard." She sat in the chair next to her husband.

"Are you sure that you're ready?" Lee said placing a hand on her arm.

She nodded as she linked her fingers with his. "It's time," she said firmly. "Besides, with everything else that's going on, it's not like we can hide any longer."

Billy looked at both of them, nodded toward their linked hands where Amanda's rings were plainly visible and said, "Does this have anything to do with the diamond ring Amanda's wearing. It's very clearly not one that came from fabrications."

"You're right, it's not," Lee answered. He looked at Amanda who signaled with her eyes for him to continue. He took a deep breath and plunged on. "Neither is her wedding band or mine."

Billy looked at them both in surprise. "Does that mean what I think it means? That all this time that I've been dropping hints that you two should get married I was wasting my breath?"

"Yes, Sir," Amanda said. "Lee and I got married four months ago."


	17. Chapter 17

"Four months?" Billy said incredulously. "Four months and you're just now telling me about it? What the hell is the matter with you two?"

"Look, I know this is s shock, Sir, but there are valid reasons for what we did, for keeping it a secret," Amanda said with a sigh feeling like she was repeating the same conversation that she'd already had with her mother.

"No, the fact that you two got married is not a shock to me. I've known for a long damn time how in love the you are and I've been praying every day since I figured it out that the two of you would get married. I've wanted to see Lee settled down for more years than I care to count and I knew that first time that I met you, Amanda, that if there was anyone who could get him to that point, it would be you. As for your marriage, I'm happy for you. What I'm not happy about is that you felt you had to hide it, especially from me. Haven't I always supported your relationship? Didn't I tell you just a few months ago that whatever your relationship was, it was fine by me?"

"Yes, you have, you did Billy," Lee said deeply surprised by Billy's reaction. He'd thought of all the people in their lives, his long-time friend would have been the most supportive.

"And didn't I try to give you an opportunity to advance your career so that you would be ready to get married and raise a family because I knew you were thinking about it? And didn't I do that even though I knew it would cost me one of my best agents?"

"Yes, that's true too," Lee said. He couldn't argue with him.

"Then why? Why would you keep something like this from me when you know you had no reason to? It makes no sense when you should have known that I would continue to support your decisions, no matter what."

"And we've appreciated that more than you know," Lee said. "But you have to understand why we kept it from you. Not just from you, but from everybody."

"Well, you better start explaining pretty damn fast because I don't understand at all. I thought you were my friend and that you knew that I'm your friend. Why wouldn't you trust me with something like this?"

"It wasn't that we didn't trust you. We thought the fewer people that knew the better," Amanda said with a sigh. "We were trying to protect our family. After what happened to Khai, we just didn't want to take the chance that something like that could happen to Phillip or Jamie."

"Khai and what happened to his kid?" When Lee and Amanda both nodded, Billy became even angrier. "Are you kidding me? You've been with The Agency how long?"

"Fourteen years," he answered sheepishly.

"Four years," Amanda replied at the same time.

"And in that fourteen years, Lee, how many times other than that have you ever heard of an agent's family being threatened?" When Lee was silent, he said, "Come on, Scarecrow, how many?"

"None, ok? None," Lee admitted.

"That's right, Scarecrow, none and do you know why? Because we look after our own around here! That's why! Amanda, you should know that better than anyone. Anytime that you've ever been involved in something that could threaten your children in the four years that you've worked here, haven't we always placed twenty-four hour guards around your house?"

"Yes, Sir," Amanda said guiltily.

"And haven't we protected your mother when she got in over her head a couple of times?"

"Yes, Sir," Amanda said again. She was beginning to feel more and more guilty with every argument Billy was throwing at them. None of them could be disputed. Billy's words were really getting her thinking that Lee was right. Keeping their marriage a secret had been a big mistake from the start.

"Then where's the logic in the decision you made to keep your marriage hidden? I'll tell you! There is none! I think maybe Lee was right when you had your fight the other day and you just like the thrill of sneaking around and nearly getting caught."

"Sir, please," Amanda said starting to get a little embarrassed.

"I don't mean just you, Amanda. I mean both of you! What in God's name possessed you to do something this asinine?"

"Look, what happened to Khai rattled us both, ok?" Lee said. "It happened right at the time that we were trying to plan our future together. We'd been talking about wedding plans and buying a house, how to break the news that we were engaged to Phillip and Jamie and we even started to talk about maybe having kids of our own. Then when all hell broke loose with Khai's little boy, we...I don't know...we just panicked."

"So, you let one, _just one_, bad situation scare you both into lying to everyone around you when you could have just come to me and asked me for advice?"

"We weren't sure it would be safe to confide in anyone, Sir," Amanda said. _Why didn't we think to ask Billy's opinion before making this decision?_, she thought.

"Why wouldn't it have occurred to you to confide in me? Who would know better than me how to balance family life with agency life or have you forgotten that Jeannie and I have raised two daughters without one incident? Never, once in the twenty-five years we've been married has our home or family ever been attacked! Not once!"

"But Jeannie's not an agent. We both _are_," Lee pointed out. Didn't he realize where they were coming from and why they were afraid? "That makes it doubly dangerous for our family."

"No, it doesn't. It just makes your moronic decision defy logic even more! The fact that you're _both_ agents makes your family safer than mine ever was. I could see if you weren't partners how it might doesn't double the danger, but because you _are _partners it doesn't. You work the same cases which means you have the same enemies," Billy countered. "Aside from which, having two trained agents in the house would mean double the protection for your family. You two just didn't think! You let one moment of blind panic talk you into making a disastrous decision."

"I don't know that I'd go as far as to call it disastrous, Sir," Amanda said.

"What else would you call it, Amanda? You two had a very public fight right out there in that bullpen over this which, by the way, Dr Smyth heard about. I've been busting my ass trying to make excuses for you two over the past three days! Do you know that he's talking about splitting the two of you up? I've been trying to talk him out of it and convince him that this will blow over, that you guys will work it out, but he feels like you can no longer be professional."

"He can't do that," Lee protested.

"He can and he will unless the two of you give him a damn good reason not to. He's known for a long time that you two are a couple and has never made a move in that direction until now! He told me today that unless you can keep your personal life out of the office and start acting like the professionals that you are, he will have no choice but to assign you both new partners! He was just in here an hour ago and made me watch the whole thing all over again play by play. Then he demanded that I try to offer some kind of rational explanation for your behavior and guess what? I wasn't able to give him one! Do I need to give you a reminder?" he said as he picked up a remote control next to him and a video from the bullpen starting playing. There they were in living color screaming at each other. They both hung their heads when face to face with the ridiculousness of the fight they'd had. "You still think you didn't make a disastrous decision?"

"Ok, we get it, Billy," Lee said testily.

Billy stopped the video feed. "No, I don't think you do! A good portion of your colleagues, people that you work with every day witnessed this too. How do you think this makes you look to them?'"

"I don't really care how we look to them," Lee said defiantly.

"Well, you should and you know why? Because of your idiotic outburst the other day, the two of you have become more than just water cooler gossip. You've become the laughingstock of this agency. Why do you think I gave you two days off before this assignment started? I wanted to not only give you time to work it out, but also to give this time to die down. Since I knew you'd be on this undercover assignment for five days, I figured that would give it a whole week for me to do some damage control. The problem is that it took less than an hour for Dr. Smyth to hear about it. Now _my_ ass is in a sling because I didn't see it coming and because I didn't tell him about it right when it happened!"

"I'm sorry, Sir. I just wasn't thinking the other day," Lee said. "The only thing that I could think about was my wife, how much I'd been missing her and how hard this has been, how painful! You couldn't possibly understand what I've been going through! You get to go home to your wife every night! I don't! You see your kids on a daily basis! I don't! You have a real home with a real family. I don't! So, don't stand there and lecture me on how hard this is on you with Dr. Smyth. He'll get over it. He always does. This, however, is not something that anyone could easily get over!"

"Sir, Lee's right. You don't know how difficult this has been to deal with, not being able to be together like a normal couple should," Amanda said.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel a bit sympathetic toward either of you right now. The two of you brought this on yourselves by not doing this right from the beginning. The hardships, the difficulty, the pain, None of that would have had to happen if you'd have just both thought for a moment about the consequences. Did either one of you ever stop to think what would have happened the next time one of you was up for review? A marriage license would have been easily found since they're a matter of public record. No one would even have to dig very hard to find it. Your secret would have been out and that would make it ten times worse if Dr. Smyth found out about your marriage on his own rather than you telling him personally."

Lee an Amanda looked at each other in trepidation and it dawned on both of them that they'd never even thought of that possibility until very recently. "We didn't think about that, Sir," Amanda said now feeling utterly stupid.

"No, Amanda, you didn't. You didn't think at all! I think I'm more surprised at you than I am at Lee. You're usually the one who considers every option before making a decision. That's what's made you so good in the field so fast." He sighed trying to calm himself down. "Look, I'll do everything I can on my end to keep Dr. Smyth from splitting you up as partners, but I may have to let him in on your secret to do it."

"How do you think that will help?" Lee asked disbelievingly. "Didn't you just say you thought it would make it worse if he didn't hear it from us?"

"But if I tell him that it came from you and that this was your way of explaining the reason behind your fight, he may be more accepting. I could use the information as leverage. I could point out to him like I did to you that the two of you working separate cases would put you and your family in more danger than if you stay partners. Plus, I can also remind him that you two have the highest case closure rate of any team in The Agency and that's saying something since you're assigned to the Q-Bureau."

"I'm surprised you didn't try that first," Amanda said.

"Oh, believe me I did," Billy said. "That was the first argument out of my mouth when he started ripping me a new one. I think that's what convinced him to at least think about it before making a decision. He wanted you re-assigned right away at first. If I throw that argument at him again along with the new information, he may just change his mind entirely. He already sees the logic in keeping you together based on your success as a team."

"Well, that's something, I guess," Lee said.

"Here's the thing though. What happened in the bullpen the other day can _never_ happen again or you won't have a chance. I don't care if you are so mad at each other that you're ready to spit nails, I want you to keep it out of the office. If you have to hold it in all day or take it out on your enemies, or take it outside, I don't care. You need to at least regain some semblance of professionalism while you're in this building. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir," Amanda answered.

"Yeah, " Lee replied.

"Good. So, do I have your permission to tell Dr. Smyth the whole story so I can try to fight the battle for you?"

"You'd still be willing to fight for us?" Lee said.

"You're still my friend, Lee, in spite of this," Billy answered. "And no matter how much it bothers me that you kept this from me, I still believe that you're the best team I've got.'

"I don't have a problem with you telling Dr. Smyth as long as Amanda doesn't," Lee said.

"If you really think it will help you plead our case, I'm on board too," Amanda said.

"I really do, Amanda," Billy said. "Now that that's settled, the background information you wanted on Murdoch and Klein is on Francine's desk. Just pick it up on your way out."

"I was also able to dig up some information on the computer on them and Chambers too," Amanda said. "I sent the printout to the big printer down here instead of trying to use the smaller one upstairs since there's so much information. That's why I came down here in the first place, to retrieve my printouts." She looked at him with a guilty look still on her face and said, "For what it's worth, Sir, we really are sorry we kept this from you." She knew that while he was trying to put on a calm front, he was still really angry at them for keeping him in the dark, just like her mother had been.

"You know what? it doesn't matter, Amanda. You can't go back and undo it. You two have an investigation to get back to and I can't talk to you about this anymore. It's just too much right now."

"Sir, please," Amanda said.

"I mean it, Amanda. Both of you just get out of my sight for a while." He gestured to the door. When neither moved, he shouted, "Go! Now!" They both scrambled to the door at the harshness of Billy's words. As they exited the room, they looked at each other both wondering how long he would stay mad and how to regain his trust.


	18. Chapter 18

Author's note: Thanks so much to everyone who has been following this story and waiting so patiently for updates I am so sorry for the long delay. I had a really hard time with getting the dialogue between Billy and Dr. Smyth just the way that I wanted it. I hope it was worth the wait.

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Not long after Lee and Amanda had left his office, Billy was irked to see Dr. Smyth entering it. He was already angrier than he could describe at his charges, the last thing he needed was another lecture from his superior. "Dr. Smyth," he said tensely.

"Billy," Dr. Smyth greeted him taking a long drag off his cigarette. "Did I just see our resident Samson and Delilah leaving here?"

Billy scowled at his boss and said, "I think that's a bad analogy. Delilah led to Samson's death, by taking his strength from him."

"As will Mrs King lead to Scarecrow's," Smyth argued. "You saw the video, how pathetic he was. I'd say she's already stolen his strength, much as Delilah stole Samson's."

"I think you're wrong," Billy said. "She _is_ his strength. Look at how much he plays by the rules now when he didn't before. He's always been good at his job, but he's become so much better with her by his side."

"I'll grant you, he's become less reckless with her around, but this sordid display of their makes me question how much longer that will continue if they're allowed to continue as they are."

"I don't know what you mean," Billy said evasively.

"Come now, Billy. It's obvious from their very public sparring match the other day that Scarecrow and Mrs. King have been lovers for quite some time."

"I can't argue with you on that point," Billy said sighing in resignation.

"What do you know about it?"

"Nothing, really," Billy lied. Now was not the time to reveal their marriage when Dr. Smyth was in this mood. He'd save that tidbit as a last resort in case he needed to use it as leverage in the event that he would go as far as to try to transfer one of them out of the DC office. He knew that agency rulebook didn't officially forbid relationships among agents, even if it was frowned upon and he knew that the rulebook _did_ forbid the agency from assigning husbands and wives to different field offices. Although, he had to admit Lee and Amanda's situation was a unique one. While there had been several instances over the years in which a pair of agents married, this was the first time in the agency's history that the two agents in question were partners. "I've suspected that they had a personal relationship ever since the nightcrawler mess when Amanda was abducted by Addi Birol. Lee's reaction was equivalent to that of someone who'd lost a lover, not just a partner."

"As have I, Billy, but even then he kept it somewhat professional. I want you to know that I'm not entirely heartless. On a personal level, I find the whole thing quite charming and romantic, however, on a professional level, there are things that I cannot tolerate and one of those things is compromising the integrity of this agency."

"I don't believe that's what's happening here," Billy argued.

"No? What else would you call when one of our top agent teams has become nothing more that water cooler gossip, negating any positive influence that the good work they've done together had garnered? Have you heard what they're saying out there?"Smyth said with a wild gesture toward the bullpen. Without giving Billy a chance to answer, he continued. "Several of your subordinates out there are questioning my decision to grant Mrs. King full-time agent status back in September. They're even suggesting that she slept her way into that position. That makes not only this agency look bad, but me as well."

"They're not seriously thinking that you and Amanda..."

"Indeed they are. They're even insinuating that that's the reason she and Scarecrow kept their little tête-à-têtes so secret, for fear I might find out about it and send them both off to the ends of the earth in a jealous rage. Now, you and I both know the truth, as do Scarecrow and Mrs. King, but the gossip hounds out there don't. So, if you know something more than you're saying, I need to hear it right now."

"You told me yesterday that you wouldn't separate them unless you had to, unless it started affecting their work."

"And I won't. I can't very well do so now with the rumors that are flying out there. How would it look? I'd just be validating their suspicions that I'm some sort of a spurned lover. You know something, Billy. I know you do, so spill."

Billy sighed, realizing that the only way to get out of this was to come clean with the whole truth. "They're more than just lovers," Billy said. "They were married four months ago. They've been keeping it under wraps both of them fearing for her family's safety. The stress of keeping their secret and being married, but living apart was getting to both of them. That's what led to their fight."

"That's ridiculous. They both should have known that this agency looks after its own," Dr. Smyth said not seeming at all shocked by the revelation of the mystery marriage. He seemed to simply shrug it off.

"That's the same thing I said to them, but it's not important now. The damage is already done."

Dr. Smyth paced silently as he pondered the situation, taking long, slow drags off his cigarette while he did so. He halted abruptly in his pacing as an idea struck him. "The solution is simple, Billy. We just let everyone out there know the truth. That will at least get my name out of it."

"Is that all you're worried about? What they think of you?"

"Not all, Billy, but it's enough. How do you think it looks to have it rumored that the Director of Covert Operations is having a clandestine love affair with a freshman agent, an agent that I put in that position. It affects not only my reputation and hers, but the reputation of the agency as well."

"Ok, I see your point," Billy said. "But I don't see how blurting out the truth about their marriage will help."

"Oh, I'm not thinking blurt out. We're talking about a building full of spies here. If we just hand over this kind of information, they'll never take it at face value. They're all too damned suspicious for that. I'm thinking of something a little more covert, supplying little pieces of the puzzle and letting the rumor mill put them together on their own. I don't suppose they gave you any details on when and where the nuptials took place."

"No, they just said four months ago, but it shouldn't be too hard to figure it out. I actually have an idea already. Do you remember when Amanda was shot back in February?"

"I do," Smyth answered.

"Well, they both had vacation time scheduled for that week and the entire week leading up to that happening, the two of them were acting very anxious, working their asses off to close all their open case files, turn in all outstanding reports. Then when I assigned them to the Nick Grant case, Lee became downright belligerent about not wanting to work it and just letting the state police take it over."

"That's highly unusual for him to give up any assignment, especially to local PD. So, your theory is that this shared vacation time was meant to be their honeymoon?"

"Yeah, so I'm thinking the wedding had to have taken place sometime during the week they were working the Grant case. I could do some digging around that time frame and see what I can come up with."

"I've got a better idea," Smyth said. "Assign it to the freshmen; they're always firmly entwined in the office grapevine. Give each of them different assignments as practice for doing background research. You'll have the perfect excuse since their trainer's on field duty right now."

"Different assignments," Billy questioned.

"Yes, have one them look for a marriage license, another hotel registrations for Mr. and Mrs. Stetson, jewelry store purchases to another, plane tickets, et cetera."

"What exactly are you up to?"Billy said.

"Pieces of the puzzle," Smyth said with a grin. "Trust me, Billy."

"I would if I knew just what it was that I'm supposed to trust you with," Billy countered.

"Ok, here's the deal. If they were as anxious as you say, they'd been planning this for a while. The Stemwinder files already contain enough circumstantial evidence to indicate they were an item at that time. If we build up enough of a paper trail leading back to that time frame, it will be obvious that there's no way she could have been involved with me, not if she was able to do the impossible and catch a seemingly uncatchable bachelor."

Billy couldn't help but laugh at Dr. Smyth's way of thinking. "Oh, this is going to be fun," he said with a mischievous smile.

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Lee and Amanda drove back to the park in silence both agitated by how their conversation with Billy had gone. Neither of them had expected him to blow up the way that he had. They'd thought that of all the people in their lives, he would have been the one who would have been the most supportive of their decision but it had been just the opposite. Out of everyone that they'd told so far, he was by far the angriest.

Amanda was the first one to break the silence. "Billy's right, you know," She said. "We weren't thinking."

"I know," Lee said tensely. "That's exactly the point that I was trying to make the other day when I blew up at the office."

"Yeah, you were right," She agreed.

"Well, yes and no," Lee said with a sigh. "I was right that we made a mistake in keeping our marriage a secret, but I was wrong to explode the way I did. I had no right to do that. The way that I spoke to you was unforgiveable."

"No, Lee, you had every right to be frustrated by our situation. And for the record, you're not the only one who's been frustrated by our impossible situation."

"Amanda, I'm trying to apologize here. Will you just let me get it out? I mean, this whole stupid mystery marriage thing was my idea to start with."

"Yes, you suggested it, but I agreed to it," Amanda argued. "I was so afraid for the boys that I wasn't thinking about anything else. I've been afraid for them ever since I started this job, but Billy was right. It was an irrational fear. He made a good point. The Agency has always done what's necessary to protect them when there was a specific threat against them and he's personally helped my mother at least twice, when she got involved with Dr. Zernov and again when she got involved with Harry."

Lee chuckled and said, "Ever notice how your mother's love life has a tendency to get her in trouble?"

"The same thing could be said about us," Amanda pointed out. "That's what led to this whole thing and for the record; you don't have anything to apologize for. I was the one who was being stubborn. You made a very good point during our argument that if I'd stopped to discuss this with you, it wouldn't have turned into the big scene that it did."

"Still, though I was out of line. I shouldn't have aired our dirty laundry in public."

"Yes, but if I would have been willing to talk to you about it in private, it wouldn't have been brought out in public."

"Seriously, Amanda?" Lee said with a shake of his head. "Are we really going to do this?"

"Do what?"Amanda said.

"Argue about whose fault the argument was? Why can't we just agree that we were both idiots and leave it at that?" he said as he pulled the 'Vette to a halt in front of their cabin.

"Ok, you're right. I'm just worried," Amanda said. "How are we going to fix this with Billy and what if he's not able to convince Dr. Smyth to let us keep working together? What's going to happen if he starts sending you out on field assignments alone? Then where will you be? You and I both know that we work best together as a team and if I'm not there with you, you may get into trouble that you can't get out of and-" Her ramble was halted by her husband's lips on hers and his hand caressing her face. When he pulled back she said, "What was that for?"

"I've learned that sometimes that's the only way to shut you up," He teased.

"Hey," she said as she smacked him playfully. "I have a legitimate concern here."

"I know you do and I have the same concern, but we can't dwell on it. What's going to happen is going to happen. All we can do right now is concentrate on getting this case solved then deal with what's coming when it comes." As they climbed out of the car, Lee couldn't help but notice the lost-in-thought look on his wife's face, "What is it?"

"It just occurred to me that this might be the last case we ever work together," Amanda said sadly as she reached for the shopping bag she was using to hide the agency files.

"I don't believe that. As mad as he is, I believe in Billy and his belief in us and I think he'll do anything in his power to keep us together as partners."

"But what if he can't?"

"He will," Lee said as he reached for his wife's free hand wrapping his around it.

"There you two are," Chambers said from behind them starting both of them. "The first event is starting in about twenty minutes. Where did you disappear to?"

"We decided to take advantage of the free time to check out the shopping area you talked about last night," Amanda covered quickly as she held up the shopping bag she'd just pulled out of the "vette."We'll be ready in plenty of time. We've been looking forward to it."

"Scavenger hunt, isn't it," Lee said.

"Just a warm-up before the really hard part starts," Chambers replied with a leering look at Amanda causing her to shift uncomfortably. "I hope you're up for the challenge."

"I'm always up for a challenge," Lee said pointedly as he wrapped his arms possessively around his wife as he glared at the other man. "Now, if you don't mind, we need to get back inside so we have time to get ready."

"Of course," Chambers said with a gesture toward their cabin. "I'll see you soon," he added with another lecherous look at Amanda as the couple walked away.


	19. Chapter 19

Upon re-entering their cabin and seeing that it was empty, Lee took Amanda in his arms kissing her fiercely causing her to drop the bag she was holding as she wrapped her arms around him in response. He backed her up against the door as he probed her mouth with his tongue. They spent several long minutes kissing feverishly until Amanda pulled away breathlessly. Lee used the break to lower his mouth to her neck where he'd left his mark the day before.

"Lee," Amanda gasped. "Lee, we have to stop. We only have twenty minutes."

Lee pulled his mouth from her neck for a moment. "So, we'll be late," he said as he kissed her again pressing himself into her and then began again on her neck as he tugged at her top to caress her skin beneath it.

"But, our cover," she protested weakly.

"Our cover is as newlyweds," he said firmly. "Which we actually are and if anyone asks why we're late, that's the excuse we'll use." Having witnessed the ogling that Chambers had directed at his wife had set off a primal desire to possess her again, to make it known that she was his. He reached between them for the closure of her jeans, quickly unfastening it to slip his hand inside to touch her.

"Oh, Lee," she cried out at the fire he was creating in her. She reached backward to lock the door to keep them from being interrupted as she gave in to her husband, forgetting that they were supposed to be working and just losing herself in sensation.

Once their clothes were discarded right there in the entryway, Lee lifted Amanda up against the door hooking her legs around him as he entered her. He locked eyes with her and said, "You've mine, only mine," as he began to thrust up into her, his eyes never leaving hers.

Amanda returned his gaze, clasped her face in her hands and said, "Yes, Lee, I'm yours, only yours." She knew that after everything they'd been through, he needed that reassurance.

"Oh, Amanda, I love you," he cried out as he moved within her thrusting upward while pulling on her hips to deepen their connection.

"I love you," she replied. She gasped at feeling the hard wood of the door against her back combined with her husband's hard length inside her. "OH, I've missed this so much." While they'd made love several times in the past few days, it seemed like they were still playing catch-up from their thwarted honeymoon and all the numerous nights they'd spent apart since they'd been married. "I've missed _you_ so much." She lavished his face and neck with kisses as her climax began sending her heart soaring and longing for the day when they could live completely openly as husband and wife.

Lee buried his face in her neck as his own climax hit him, and whispered against her skin how much he loved her and needed her, his body trembling against hers as they held onto each other as they began their downward spiral together. "Amanda, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he cried as he lowered her legs back to the floor, but kept his face hidden.

Amanda gently lifted his head from her shoulder, gazed into his eyes and said, "What are you sorry for? If I didn't want this, I'd have said something. You know I would have."

"No, not for this, Amanda. I'm never sorry for making love to you," Lee said, "I'm sorry for this whole stupid mystery marriage. It's all my fault that we've spent the last four months being miserable without each other, living separately, never really being the husband and wife we should be. My idiotic blind fear kept us from being together." Billy's words from earlier in the day had been haunting him ever since they'd left the agency.

"No, Lee, this isn't entirely your fault. It's _our_ fault. You didn't make this decision alone. I agreed to it because I had the same fear. We both made a mistake in keeping our marriage to ourselves and now we have to live with the consequences, but I'm willing to do that if you are. When this case is over, I don't care what we have to do; I can't spend another night without you beside me or wake up alone one more morning."

"Me either, I can't either," Lee said. "I don't care anymore who's pissed at us for keeping this secret. We'll deal with that when we have to, but I can't go on living without my wife."

"And I can't go on living without my husband," she agreed as she tenderly stroked his face. "I can't keep being married and living apart. I was an idiot to think I could do that again and not have it fall apart like it did with Joe. In spite of our fighting, I'm so glad that we finally agreed on this before _we_ fell apart too. I couldn't have lived with losing you." She kissed him softly. "I love you so much," she said with tears in her eyes.

"And I love you," He said placing on hand on each side of her face and kissed her again. "I couldn't have lived with losing you either and that's exactly where we were headed."

"I know. It makes me sad to think that we've been putting everything else ahead of our marriage for months. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize that we've been doing that long before we ever got married, even before were engaged. Everything else, the agency, the boys, my mother, even my ex-husband, have always come first and our relationship has come last, always on the back burner. It feels like our whole life together had been filled with nothing but stolen moments, but that's all over now. We need to start putting our marriage first," she said and let out a long breath now that her ramble was done.

"I couldn't agree more," he said with a smile. "I say we start right now." He then lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Once there, he laid her on the bed and quickly followed her lying beside her and lavishing her with kisses, kis hands caressing her skin.

While Amanda was greatly enjoying the attentions of her husband, she knew that they were there to do a job, "Lee," she protested between kisses. "We do have work to do." She was trying to concentrate on what she knew needed to be done, but was finding it very difficult with her husband's naked body pressed against hers, the way that he was kissing her, the way that he was touching her.

"Weren't you the one who just said we need to put our marriage first," he murmured against her skin as he ran his tongue along the scar on her chest, a painful reminder of how close their marriage had come to ending before it had really begun. He raised his head for a moment to look at her. "Weren't you?"

"Yes," she said breathlessly.

"Well, this is a start to putting our marriage first. Let Francine and Beaman handle the interviewing part. We have all the files we brought from the office here, and I brought the laptop with me. We can go through all that stuff later," He ran his hand up her thigh to her hip and placed a tender kiss to her lips. "Right now, I just want to be your husband, not your partner." He pulled her leg up over his hip and grasped her bottom to be closer to her.

"Later," she agreed sighing at the way he was touching her.

"Besides, nothing says we have to participate in these ridiculous events to fix what's wrong in our marriage. I think fixing our marriage starts right here with you and me." He kissed her again and wrapped his arms around her.

Amanda wrapped her arms around him kissing him back fervently, wanting more than anything to just stay in this little hideaway with him forever and not let the outside world come between them ever again. When Lee lowered his lips to her neck, she gasped at the contact, giving in once again to the intensity of the feelings she had for him, thinking again of how much she'd missed him, missed being close to him, and how much she was longing for the day that they'd have a real home together.

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Billy had rounded up the freshmen agents and he and Dr. Smyth had handed out individual assignments to each of them in the conference room. "All right, you all have your assignments to work on until Agent Beaman gets back from his field assignment to resume your classes. Now, remember, you are not to discuss your individual assignments with each other or with anyone outside of this room," He said as he exchanged a grin with Dr. Smyth knowing that is exactly what they would do. "Now, let's get to it!: The agents in the room began to disperse except for one who remained seated looking disturbed as she read the details of her assignment.

Once the remaining agents had filed out of the room and she still remained seated, Dr. Smyth said, "Is there a problem, Agent..."

"Newton," she answered. "Stephanie Newton."

"You have a problem with your assignment?" Smyth asked the young woman.

"Well, Sir, I don't mean any disrespect, but...um..." she fidgeted nervously.

"Out with it, Agent Newton! Time is money, as they say," Smyth demanded.

Billy held up a hand to Dr. Smyth to indicate that he should handle this situation. Dr. Smyth threw up his hands and left the room, chomping on his cigarette holder in irritation. Once he was gone, Billy crossed the room to her, leaned against the table to look her in the eye and said, "Whatever it is, Agent Newton, I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about it."

"Well, it's just that I've been in a lot of classes with Mrs. King and I like her. She's helped me out a lot. You know, helped me ease in around here, shown me the ropes and well...I...uh...I've been assigned to check out hotel registrations for her and Mr. Stetson and...I...um...I feel..."

"You feel uncomfortable invading her privacy?"Billy finished for her.

"Yes, Sir. I consider Mrs. King a friend, and she's a good person."

"Yes," Billy said with a smile. "She's a very good person."

"Then why are you investigating her? I mean, from the looks of my assignment, it looks like you think she's having some clandestine love affair with her partner."

"I'm afraid the why is on a need-to-know basis only. Your assignment is very simple. You search hotel registrations for the two-week timeframe outlined in your folder there for Mr. and Mrs. Stetson and if you find a match, you conduct interviews with hotel staff and report back here. I'm afraid I can't tell you more than that."

"But if it's true," she paused a moment as she believed that it was true. She'd seen the way they had looked at each other when they thought no one was looking and she'd heard through the grapevine about the fight they'd had, although knowing the gossip flew around the agency, she wasn't sure how much of it was to be believed. "If it's true, this could ruin her life. I mean, she's a mother of two children."

"I understand that it's difficult to spy on someone that you consider a friend," Billy said in a soothing tone. "But I'm afraid this is a part of the job. Now, if this is something that you feel you can't handle, you might want to consider another line of work." At seeing her hang her head, he said, "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Many people can't deal with the seamier side of the job. In fact, even though she's been here for four years, it's something that Amanda, herself, still struggles with."

"No," she said with resolve. If Amanda King could do this, so could she. "I'm a professional. I can do this."

"Good," Billy said patting her on the shoulder. "Now, go to it."

"Yes, Sir," Agent Newton said. "Thank you, Sir."

Billy shook his head and smiled at how much this twenty-something agent reminded him of Amanda King and found he was not surprised at all to learn that she had been mentoring the younger agent. Billy was lost in his thoughts when Dr. Smyth re-entered the room.

Dr. Smyth puffed on his cigarette thoughtfully watching through the window as the young woman exited the bullpen hastily and said, "This Agent Newton; is she going to be the weak link in our chain of deception?"

"No, I think she's going to do just fine," Billy said with a smile. "I think she's going to be as good as Amanda one day."

"Well, then maybe when she's done with this assignment, we should give her something a little more challenging, something that she can really sink her teeth into."

"Count on it," Billy said.

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David Chambers was wondering what had happened to the Stetsons and why they hadn't shown up for the scavenger hunt when he'd just seen them a while ago, and had searched for them. He made his excuses to the others that he was hoping that they hadn't gotten lost in the massive state park. Maybe they'd just decided as many couples in the past had that the events weren't for them and had left He had just arrived back at their cabin and found that not to be true as the silver Corvette was still parked in front of it. He stepped up on the front porch, knocked and when he got no answer, tried the door only to find it locked.. As he made his way around to the back of the cabin, he heard Amanda Stetson's voice crying out loudly clearly in the throes of passion. He grinned a lascivious grin. He initial impression of her when he'd first seen her at dinner last night were dead-on accurate. S_he is a firecracker, _he thought.


	20. Chapter 20

Lee and Amanda lay happily entwined with one another post-lovemaking both blissfully ignoring the case that needed to be worked on. "So, this is your solution to fixing our marriage?"Amanda said breathlessly as she lightly stroked her husband's bare chest.

"Well, it's not the whole solution, but it's definitely a great start," Lee said with a rakish grin, equally breathless.

"Good, because I was just thinking, this was one area we've never had any trouble with," Amanda replied in a sultry voice.

"Not unless you count actually having time for it," Lee countered.

"Come on, Lee. Can you be serious for a minute? We both know that the real problem is not our sex life or lack of one lately. It's our lack of communication that caused us to fight. To be fair, it was mostly my fault. You wanted to talk about it and I didn't."

"I never did quite understand that either," he said. "Why didn't you want to talk about it?" When Amanda just lay silently running her fingers up and down his chest, he tried again. "Amanda, come on. Talk to me." When her only reply was to roll over to lie atop him and kiss his lips, he began to get irritated. As much as he loved kissing her and being close to her, he knew this was her way of avoiding the question. He pushed gently on her shoulders to break the kiss, clasped her face in his hands to make her look him in the eyes and said, "Amanda, please don't shut me out. You're the one who's the expert talker about your feelings. I'm the one who's supposed to be the strong, silent type, remember?"

Amanda slipped out of bed, and pulled on her robe, quickly tying it around her and turned from him to keep him from seeing the tears in her eyes. "We should really get to work on this case," Amanda said as she began to walk toward the bedroom door.

Lee was after her in a second, jumping out of bed and placing his hands on the door just before she reached to open it. "Amanda, stop! What the hell is all this about?" He turned her to face him and saw the tears she'd been trying to hide. "What the hell are you so afraid of?"

"Nothing, I'm not afraid of anything," she denied.

"Bullshit!" he spat out at her. "I've seen you face down terrorists who were trying to kill us with less fear in your eyes than you've got right now."

"I...I can't...we...you...me," she stammered, and then took a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself. "We're finally getting back to a good place. I...I don't want to ruin it."

"Well, right now you're pissing me off by not talking to me when you, yourself were just the one saying that our problem has been lack of communication. You're being damned hypocritical, if you ask me. How do you think that's not going to ruin it?"

"You couldn't possibly understand," Amanda said.

"Try me," Lee replied firmly unwilling to let her off the hook. When she was silent and only looked down at the floor refusing to make eye contact with him, he forcefully raised her head up, giving her no other choice but to look at him. "Amanda, look at me! Talk to me," he pleaded. "How are we ever going to get past this if I don't know what's going on? I don't get what has you so scared. Have I done something to scare you?" When she was still silent, he continued. "You said you wanted us to be a normal couple, so how's that going to work if we're not honest with each other? I may have acted like a horse's ass at the office the other day, but I was at least honest. Can you say that?"

"Sometimes, too much honesty just makes things worse," Amanda said sadly.

Lee's jaw tightened in anger as it hit him what was really going on. He reflected back her words earlier about her prior marriage. "I get it. This isn't about me at all, is it? This is about your ex and what he did to you."

"Leave Joe out of this," Amanda said. "This has nothing to do with him."

"I think it does. He abandoned you and your children and you don't trust that I won't do the same thing," Lee said pointedly, believing he'd hit the nail right on the head. "Here's a news flash for you! I'm not Joe!"

At seeing him so angry, so hurt, Amanda finally broke and cried," You don't know what it was like for me. How hard it was raising two babies by myself, begging my husband to come home, or to stay home just a little longer, begging him to think of me and our children. I tried so hard to be understanding, told myself over and over again that what he was doing meant something to the world, but all I could really think about was that we needed him more. You don't know how many times I pleaded with him to spend just a little more time with me, with the boys, being a family..." Amanda's voice trailed off as the tears overwhelmed her. At seeing Amanda break down, it struck Lee that for all of Amanda's prodding to get him to deal with and properly grieve all the death in his life, she'd never properly grieved the death of her first marriage or dealt with the hurt it caused. He wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in a warm hug as she sobbed. When her crying subsided enough for her to speak again, she said softly, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Lee said as he stroked her hair. He once more raised her head to look her in the eye. "Just be honest."

"I don't expect you to understand," she said with a sniffle, "but all I've ever wanted was to have a happy, stable home life like the one I had growing up with my parents."

"I think you're the one who doesn't understand, Amanda," Lee replied. "All I've ever wanted was to have the happy, stable home life like the one that I _didn't _get to have with my parents. You know what that means. We want the same thing."

"But it's impossible for us," Amanda said.

"No, it's not," Lee said. "Weren't you listening in Billy's office? He's had a family for years and has made it work and there's no reason that we can't do the same."

"But we're not Billy and Jeannie. They're a normal husband and wife, neither of them had the baggage that we have, the kind of pasts that we have."

Lee shook in head in frustration. "Oh, I get what this is about now. You're not just talking about your past. You're talking about mine. I thought you said you didn't care about that."

"I don't," she said.

"Yeah, right," Lee muttered as he turned from her and pulled on his own robe suddenly feeling uncomfortable with his state of undress.

"Lee, I really don't care about your past, honestly. It's just finding out about the baby has got me scared...I don't...I can't..."

"Can't what?" When she didn't reply, he turned back toward her and his tone became more demanding, "Can't what, Amanda?" When she looked away from him and refused to make eye contact, he clenched his teeth and said, "I knew it! I knew the second that you told me about it that you weren't happy about this baby. It was stupid of me to think you would be. I mean, you've already got two kids and they're half-grown. What the hell made me think that you'd be willing to start all over again?"

"Lee, stop! That's not what's going on here! I am happy about this baby, I really am. I just don't want..." her voice trailed off again, not wanting to voice her real fears.

"Say it, Amanda! You don't really want this baby, _my _baby!"

"No, Lee, nothing could be further from the truth! I do want this baby, very much. I just don't want..."

"What, Amanda? What is it that you don't want," he demanded as he gripped her arms firmly trying to resist the urge to shake the truth out of her. He was angrier at her than he'd been in a long time

"I don't want to raise another baby alone!" she finally spit out.

Lee abruptly released her as her words sank in. "That's what you're afraid of? Do you honestly think that I would ever let that happen? Maybe it didn't sink in earlier when I said that I'm not Joe! I would never abandon you or our child. Is that what's really going on here? You think I'm going to leave you?"

"Yes," Amanda said softly.

The look on Lee's face shifted from one of anger to one of profound hurt, the emotional pain far worse than any physical pain that he'd ever suffered during his entire fourteen years on the job. His voice was shaky as he choked out through a blur of tears that had formed in his eyes, "I thought you trusted me more than that."

"I do, Lee. I trust you with my life. I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't believe that you're anything like Joe or that you would ever intentionally leave me to raise our child by myself the way he did. I'm afraid that..." she took a deep breath to compose herself before continuing, "...that it may not be your choice. Do you remember what led us to making the decision to keep our marriage a secret? The situation with Khai and his little boy?"

"Yeah, of course, I do, but I thought we agreed after our talk in Billy's office that we made a mistake letting that mess make our decision for us."

"I still believe that, but I've never forgotten what you said to me during that case. Do you remember what you said to me in the car after we interviewed Khai's wife?

"Yeah, I said that that you could be you, one day..." he said as it finally struck him what his wife's fear really was.

"...talking to strangers about my dead husband," Amanda finished her body shaking. "This is what I've been afraid of this whole time. It's why I agreed with you that we should keep our marriage to ourselves. It seemed safer that way. I always worry that the boys are going to lose yet another father and now that we're having our own baby, that fear is stronger than ever. If Phillip and Jamie lost you, it would be bad, but they'd at least still have me and Joe, but our baby..."

"Amanda, stop," Lee said taking her in his arms again. "Stop torturing yourself with what _might_ happen. We can't live in fear in our personal life anymore than we can in our professional one."

"I'm sorry, Lee. I can't help being afraid. I don't want to be. I hate this fear. I hate it, but why do you think I always refuse to let you got out into the field alone? Why do you think I make sure that I kiss before we leave each other's sight? I never know when or if I might see you again. Why do you think I cling to you so tightly when we make love, and after we make love, why I never want to let go of you, why I like you to hold me when we're sleeping? We never know when any moment we have together may be our last."

"We can't know that, Amanda, but neither can anyone else in this world. You never know what could happen. Look at what happened to you on our honeymoon when the agency was the farthest thing from our minds; look at how many times your mother has gotten mixed up in agency-related stuff, not because of you, but just because she happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Look at how many people die every day in car wrecks, plane crashes, of heart attacks and strokes. Any one of those things could happen to anybody at any time, but we can't have a real life if we're always thinking about death." He lightly stroked her stomach and said in a softer tone, "This baby is about life and I need you to stop associating it with death." He brushed a tender kiss to her lips and enveloped her in his arms again.

Amanda clung to him, letting silent tears fall feeling a sense of relief that she'd finally gotten in out, but still not able to let go of her fear. "I love you," she whispered into his chest.

"And I love you," Lee said as he pulled her head back to gaze into her eyes. "Please, Amanda, try to stop worrying so much. How much danger can I be in with a relentless, stubborn partner like you?"

Amanda smiled a little and replied, "Billy does always say we're the best team he's got."

"Yeah, he does. Look, if you want, when we wrap this case up, I can talk to Billy about maybe modifying some of our field assignments; keep us in the office more, and less in the line of fire. It would kill two birds with one stone, keep you from worrying about me and keep you out of danger while you're pregnant."

"I don't know if that's the right solution," Amanda said. "We both love being out in the field and like I told you the other day, I'm not going to let you quit a job you love for me."

"I'm not saying quit," Lee said. "I'm saying back off a bit. What do you think?"

"Maybe," she said as she leaned back into her husband's arms feeling better than she had in weeks about their marriage now that she'd gotten her real fears out in the open.


End file.
